Cumming: In cage, with a vibe, without permission

I found that use of a vibrator while caged was ugly.
The last time I ever did that was shortly after being fitted with a urethral device.
I think all the vibrating cause the insert to chaff the lining of my urethra which resulted in blood in my semen when I orgasmed.
I never tried it again and would recommend not trying this to anyone else here with an insert style device.

 

I'm genuinely curious what sort of compromise you'd consider in that sort of situation?

 

It depends a lot on how we got there. A little extra unlocked teasing might be sufficient if hubby was primarily feeling ignored. A ruined orgasm is another good option that has no downside from my perspective. I'd even consider a full orgasm, though it would really depend on the circumstances.

For example, let's say I decided I wanted to try six months between orgasms instead of three. Midway through that fourth month hubby said it was just too much for him. I might propose shortening it to four months... still making him wait a couple more weeks, but at least moving the promise of an orgasm closer.

Ultimately, chastity has to be a positive thing for us both. If it ever stops feeling that way then something has to change. One thing that has worked really well for us is a 24 hour cooling off period. There have been numerous times where hubby told me he needed an orgasm. Especially in the heat of the moment when he's right at the edge. That's when it's time to pause, wait a day, and then talk about it more calmly.

 

That is very nice of You Miss.

 

chastity means the fidelity， the best way to cum in bar is try cum when oral your mistress

 

I think you know how I would answer.

When I turned the key over to my wife, I told her I wanted her to own my sexuality. She agreed and further defined that to also mean that I would not sexually stimulate myself including edging, nipple play, using a vibe on my cage, etc even if I didn't have an orgasm. To her, all of those would be cheating.

About 6 weeks into our agreement, I cheated with a vibrator on my cage. As I reached the point of no return, I removed the vibrator and had an unsatisfactory dribbling orgasm. It took me a few days to finally confess to her what I had done. We agreed to a 90 day lockup & denial period and that's the last time I've cheated. Those 90 days really helped me gain control. In our post-incident review of what happened, we determined that I had had too many O's in too short a timeframe - 3 each 2 weeks apart. As a result, I was consumed with thoughts of another. It was like an alcoholic who continues to have a drink every once in awhile and then can't control his/her cravings.

Frequent intimacy, foreplay, teasing & her orgasms enable me to go long periods without an orgasm. It took time to rewire my brain to crave her touch & intimacy instead of a self-stimulated orgasm. And it took time to recognize the triggers (negative emotions) that prompted me to self-soothe and masturbate. Recognizing those triggers and finding healthy responses to them takes time. I wonder you are still in the early stages of your denial / recovery period and need time to develop healthy behaviors to replace the unhealthy.

The greatest temptation is during the heat of passion. I just told my wife last night after a particularly lengthy time of making love that I will always say "yes" if she offers me an O during the heat of passion. But afterwards, I'm always feeling glad that I have the desire to jump out of bed and do anything I can to serve and please her.

We haven't discussed permenant denial. Neither of us has a desire for that at the moment. But she is committed to longer periods of denial now than I ever imagined and has become firm about it.

We both have taken the stance that our bodies belong to each other. And that neither of us should stimulate ourselves even in the presence of the other as long as we are physically able to be intimate with our partner. If one of us reaches the place where we are not interested in intimacy, we'd have to have long talks about that and seek professional counseling to work thru the issues. Just last night, we were talking about masturbation. We agreed that self-stimulation is never as pleasurable as when our partner does it to us. Masturbation is missing the mark / missing what is best for us physically as well as relationally & spiritually. From the Christian perspective, that's the definition of sin.

If you are really happy with your intimacy with your wife but find yourself still struggling with the temptation to have an orgasm, then it's time to discuss why. You might need to consider altering your stance on what permanency means and whether it's best for you. 1 Corinthians 7:5.

 

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I used my girlfriend’s vibrator without permission over a month ago. She hid it and let me out of chastity. I’m back in chastity again and it’s come off once when she wanted sex, otherwise she’s not allowing any play to happen or for a release from chastity. She confirmed it was because of the vibrator use.

Chastity for us is changing to more of what she wants and less what I want, probably an 80-20 or greater split. Just give in to whatever control she wants and you’ll have an easier time going with the flow.

 

That does not work for my husband, we have tried it. The erection in his cage blocks his urethra and a blocked orgasm is as inconvenient for him that he does not want them to happen.
Did anyone made similiar observations?

 

it says it not found.

 

For us it would be a massive betrayal of trust It's cheating and I'm sure I would feel like I have let not only myself done but also my wife
I never know when my next orgasm is coming my way this is the decision we made as a couple many years ago

Think deep down you know you broke the rules Maybe sit down with your KH and discuss where you go from here
Good luck on your journey
Like many others on here I'm permanently locked We both get off on the control, frustration and tease obviously from different side of the fence

 

I have a total ban on cumming in chastity since I was locked up until further notice by the Lady.
As Mistress says, "Your baby dick is only for pissing and doesn't know what cumming is."
If I broke the rules, my butt would have a cane encounter, which is very painful in the hands of the Lady, all the more so for such an offense.

 

So, have you?

 

If husband is under Discipline or in chastity, he must have my permission to ejaculate. If it's neither, I still don't permit him to masturbate. If husband did what OP did, he'd get at least 25 strokes of the tawse and probably even a full Disciplinary Session.

 

I'm not sure the question is clearly formed. I understand the cage is permanent. O within a cage is possible in many ways.

Are you asking how... or are you asking if cheating is OK?
Because unauthorised O is cheating, breach of trust, plain and simple.

 

I would say that if you are proposing to achieve orgasm without the knowledge of your keyholder, that would be cheating. You might well be found out, in which case you risk damaging the trust between you. If your keyholder knows you can do this and has agreed that you can do it without asking permission on every occasion then I guess it would not be cheating, but I don’t see much point in putting up with the inconvenience of a CB if you can orgasm at will.

For various reasons I sometimes have to be unlocked and resist temptation for short periods. To have to do that most of the time would be horrible and probably unsuccessful. If your keyholder wants you locked permanently it is not fair to subject you to such temptation. If it is you who really want it to be permanent, asking this forum to confirm to you it is cheating might help but I doubt if it is a really good solution. If it were me I would be asking my keyholder for more help. Some possibilities might be:
...having any vibrators securely locked up,
...the threat of punishment or
...wearing a spiked cage.

Maybe two or all three of these.

I liked this idea. You can get at the vibrator but not use it.

As for a spiked cage I think you do need to be careful to avoid serious injury. I suggest something relatively mild for permanent or long term use and perhaps something more severe could be used as a punishment. For what it's worth I have a blunt spike inside my cage all the time and would not want to be without it. It would not be allowed anyway.