Wife wants cum, I want chastity

I don’t think you can solve it without a cuckold scenario.
You will just have to compromise.
Maybe a month of cum in Her and then a month locked.
My Wife is like this a little bit. Nothing like the level your Wife is at. But if I’m going to cum She wants it in Her. She is just far more content with me locked, so lucky me, err, I guess

 

Tell her you want to try to completely satisfy her while you stay locked. Maybe you can present it like a game where your goal is to completely satisfy her while staying locked, but if she ultimately feels like she needs your cock and cum to be satisfied then you lose the game.

 

I am in chastity 365 days a year. However, I’m generally released on average twice a week in at least two forms of bondage one of which I’m happy to return to chastity to get out of. During my release time she often had sex with me, sometimes I have assisted masturbation. In any case I’m totally controlled by her, but I’m out of my device for a couple hours a week. She would never deny herself sex with me on her terms whenever she wants it.

 

Perhaps it might help if you separate the two in your own mind; chastity and denial.

You can have chastity; wear a cage, give her control of your dick, release only when she wants, serve her in the bedroom, worship her outside the bedroom, etc.

You can do this and maybe enjoy the fact she "commands" you to come - your orgasm is not important, it's only there to help her get off?? something like that

With denial - maybe ruins would help? or as others have said compromise.

Perhaps she likes to know you've come and that satisfies her and helps her orgasm - maybe pulling out and runing yourself on her as she comes might be a powerful sight and help her get off, especially if you add some dirty talk.

Or if you don't already, you could try recycling - my KH loves me to do this as she orgasms.

 

Imagine, if she was posting in a a cum fetish thread right now. Wondering how she could get you to stop your need for chastity as she prefers to be covered in cum a whole lot more, she hasn’t really expressed this to you…

I mean, it could happen. My point is this, if you’re at polar opposites of where you want to be, the only way you can solve that issue is by having a discussion and coming to some sort of compromise. There may be parts of chastity she wants, but others that she doesn’t like so much. Until you really understand her view point, and she understands yours, you will never find a balance that fits.

You need to have that conversation with her.

I doubt any woman has a “cum fetish”, for me they like the male orgasm because it’s that sense of giving the greatest form of pleasure. She may need to understand that 90% of that pleasure is not in the orgasm itself. You’re going to have to find a way for chastity to be something she wants more, or at least on a level to that of your own orgasm.

 

We are basically in the same dynamic. What works best for me (us) is me realizing that she is the owner of my penis and it's hers to do what she wants and when. I'm locked 24/7 unless she wants to fool around then the cage comes off and right back on afterwards.

 

You can move to a more permanent chastity arrangement. She keeps you locked whenever she doesn't want to have intercourse with you. In other words, you get unlocked for the time it takes for her to have her fun then back on with the cage.

You get to be almost permanently caged, you're orgasms are controlled by her, she gets her penetrative sex, she gets cum. Almost win/win.

How does she not like the ejaculating dildos? They are brilliant, fill them up and squirt fake cum everywhere, face, boobs, ass, hair, even in the mouth if its edible cum. We make our own from corn flour, water, greek yoghurt, the white of an egg and salt. Looks very authentic and with a heavy dose of salt can make it almost a disgusting as the real stuff.

A

 

You are asking her to give up what she enjoys, for your fetish. It sounds like she needs to keep you locked 24/7 and only unlock you when she wants sex.

 

That would be a problem. The last time my mistress gave me a bj over a year ago I pulled out and gave her a surprise facial. To make matters worse I kind of threw her a towel and of course lost all interest in sex. She doesn't miss any of that at all. I get much less freedom to do things like that now.

 

Talk to her and find the common ground.

 

I agree that they are weird. For me, PIV isn't about a certain shape being inserted into another shape. It's two people connected and experiencing something shared. I like when hubby cums inside of me. The physical sensation isn't the good part... that's just the signal that a really good part happened: my body gave his body a powerful experience. I don't care if a piece of plastic squirts something.

Like others have said, you have to find a compromise.

 

Change is often much easier if done gradually, imperceptibly almost.

When we first got together, long before we started chastity, my wife's most preferred form of sex was simple missionary position. Originally she did oral either way occasionally but not keen on it, and anything anal was completely off the table. Slowly, gradually, I kissed and caressed her body more each time, moving the goalposts, more often reaching and kissing her pussy with hands and tongue.

Now it's completely different, but there's never been a moment when you could say, "yesterday we did that, today we do this". What was previously the fleeting oral prelude has now become the main event. Our normal routine now is me performing oral on her, very often the only act that happens when we have sex, often multiple times in a session.

The same with her bottom, it was a bit easier due to the proximity, first the occasional "accidental" touch of her anus as my hand wandered up her leg to her vulva, then the positive touch without any hint of penetration, eventually penetrating her anus with a single finger, and then repeating the long slow process of moving from tongue on clitoris to her bottom.

Fast forward to today where sometimes when I start sliding down the bed to perform cunnilingus, she'll roll over onto her tummy with the intention that I rim her, and she now really enjoys my nose in her bum when I'm that way around giving her clitoris a performance with my tongue.
And in all that time, decades, we've never actually discussed anal sex. She's still persistently vanilla in her thoughts even if her actions say otherwise.

The slow road can often make the more successful journey.

 

Similar boat with a high sex drive wife who loves piv. With longer lockups, she likes to get herself nearly to orgasm with me assisting with oral, kissing etc, but without any penis touching. When she is ready, I am allowed to have sex with her and she comes on my dick really quickly while I'm still getting warmed up. Then without orgasm I am back in the cage and frustrated... Great arrangement!

 

That sounds hot for her. Love it.

 

That's the one thing that would make this complete. It was a no go but lately my mistress has allowed me to do it for a short time. Usually when she takes over with her fingers. I wish she would let me just do that with some penetration. Maybe I just have to persevere.

 

A couple more thoughts...

Have you tried ruined orgasms? There's still plenty of cum, though probably not inside her. If done right there's no post orgasm drop at all. Sometimes it seems like they actually increase hubby's desire. It doesn't address the desire for PIV, but it might satisfy a cum fetish.

Do you have enough self control to stop before you cum during PIV? If so, then she can get as much PIV as she likes while still controlling your orgasms. I found cowgirl position the best for this. Having him cum inside me was nice. But holding him there, just on the edge of orgasm, and feeling him throb while I instructed him to remain completely still, was wonderful. At least in hubby's case there was kind of an upper bound on when this would work. A week or two of denial was fine. Much past that he couldn't last very long, and I worried about his self control faltering. That was one of the first things to go once I started making him wait longer between orgasms.

 

Chastity is not about how you orgasm. It is about only having orgasms when she wants you to. Believe me, you will not enjoy chastity if you do not have sex as often as you need to. Most quit chastity because the fantasy is not like the reality. I have been locked 12 years and before that I was on the honor system for about 12 years. Even though I had two women living with me, my bi wife and her bi girlfriend, we took breaks every year for anywhere from a few weeks to as much as two months a few times as I got older and needed orgasms less and less.

It never mattered to me which way I had my orgasm. However, the girls did not want PIV or Oral after a few year nor did they jerk me off. All I had and still have is the very occasional permission to jerk off. Even then there were conditions such as time limits (much too short) and fetish things done to me was I tried to jerk off within the time limit.

Chastity is not about PIV. It is about orgasms. There was a time when I was doing PIV and not allowed to cum inside them or else no orgasms for a month. There was also the eating of my cum if I did cum inside them. As you can see, you can make a game out of PIV. Would you still object to it if you had to eat your cum each time? How about less PIV but also less orgasms? Believe me, once you start trying to change chastity to what you want rather than what she wants, it is the beginning of the end.

My suggestion is to keep your key holder happy or she will lose interest. If she wants you to cum inside her, have her make you clean her up orally. Always remember that sex is for her pleasure only so she gets to decide when and how to have sex. I dream about PIV and wish my wife would let me but she is not into penises anymore and thinks cum is disgusting now after decades of sex with her girlfriend. I would kill to cum inside of her but all I get is the occasional handjob and even then it is a toss up whether she stops before I cum, lets me cum but ruins it or gives me a full orgasm that I feel. After all these years of long term denial and no PIV, oral or even masturbation, I would kill to cum inside a woman or do oral. Instead I am made to moan in pain as that is what gets my wife off real fast. She can have an orgasm in seconds after I am moaning in sexual pain.

Another suggestion is a compromise. Less PIV in return for less orgasms for you so that when you do have them you will have a lot more sperm and eagerness to cum inside her. Use the example of Tantric Sex which is semen retention to make you hornier for when you do orgasm plus a lot of other bullshit benefits that are spiritual. Whatever you do, it has to incorporate her needs and wants as she is in charge of your sex life not you. Once you start topping from the bottom, the end is near.

We found it useful to spend about 15 minutes a month ( or week if you prefer) to discuss likes and dislikes. We also used that short time to discuss any changes we wanted or new ideas to try. We have changed our chastity several times a year or else it gets stale and boring. We are in our 70's now and we had a sex life that did things not yet even seen in porn. All four of my lovers are bisexual, my wife and our girlfriend included. I always was attracted to women who wanted to be sexually dominant but dated guys who did not like that. I always went down on women after I came in them. I went down on girlfriends who had just come home from a date with a guy or even just been gangbanged by my three friends. True story. So I could cum inside of them but I had to eat it all or no orgasms for a month or more. Medical reasons like surgery and other debuilitary issues force more and more need for chastity breaks the older we get but we still keep at it because sex is exactly as my wife wants it and I enjoy her orgasms which rarely am I allowed to give her. 99% of the time she cums on her vibrator. Funny but the vibe she uses is the cheapest one she owns. I bought her $100+ vibrators and they sit in original boxes unused. She cums very fast and our deal is that once she cums sex is over. I cannot cum fast so most times I am left without even a ruined orgasm. If I touch myself sexually there is no sex for a month plus no orgasm for me when we do have sex for two months. This has evolved into me getting pleasure from holding and kissing her while she has her orgasm. It oddly satisfies me and I feel like I just had one too.

At this stage in my life I enjoy sex not my orgasm most. I offer this warning about once you start pushing her to not do what she likes, her willingness to continue with chastity is going to fade. It has to be sex for her pleasure only and you take whatever she gives you. Add the eating your cum to PIV as that should be submissive enough. Hey, there was a time when my wife only allowed anal sex due to my penis being too small for her to feel and ED issues made it worse. I still had to eat my cum from her ass when done. She still gets sex as she wants it, exactly as she wants it and it is over when she is done whether I came or not.

That is why we are married over 50 years, had my wife's girlfriend lived with us most of the time until she got married to have financial security to a bi guy, who was OK with sharing her with us. That added a whole new experience to me. Technically I was cuckolding him at the beginning when I used to have sex with her. Then when that stopped she would feed me his cum and do things to me that she used to do to him like strangling. My point is if you let the ladies do what they want you will have a long and fun fetish sex lifestyle. Once you start making it about what you want, she will lose interest. See how you can compromize.

 

totally agree! Just sit down and talk it through.

 

seems to me to sum up you and your wife have different views about what you want out of your relationship regarding sex. Which despite your efforts seem to be for the time being irreconcilable. So now you have to decide if you can either or both compromise a little and if so it what ways. if your differences can not be reconciled you may need to sit down and a long discussion about where you both think you are going. Or of course you couldl just drop any ideas you have re chastity play that differ from hers

 

I do what my wife wants. If she likes to be fucked sometimes, I do it.