I started a journey a year ago to change the way I lived my life. I began by apologizing to my wife for the years of neglecting her sexual needs and selfishly hoping she would fulfill mine. I promised to her that I was going to do a better job...and I asked her to ignore my orgasms for a while and give me a chance to learn how to be a better husband. She was super skeptical, but over time I've earned her trust. In the last year she's had over 80 orgasms now, and I've had 17. Actually, this ends up being more orgasms than I had before with her...but ironically the old me was masturbating so much that I was depleting my energy. Now, I'm full of energy, and the happiest I've ever been. Our relationship is the best it's ever been as well. She is finally trusting me and coming out of her shell to really shine like the beautiful flower she is! For the last year I have worn a chastity cage every day while I'm at work. My wife doesn't know that I do this. It has helped with my mindset. I presented her with a chastity cage a few months ago and asked her to lock me up. She rejected this immediately. But, our communication has improved so much that we're still able to discuss it some (although she is currently against anything she perceives to be a toy). I've decided that to truly be submissive, I must operate according to what she is comfortable and ready for, but this doesn't prevent me from being able to shed light on the benefits and advocate for what I believe I truly need without being forceful. I'm joining this community because I'm hoping to meet others who have been on similar journeys who can share insights on how I might continue and grow in the journey I am on. And, also, I would love to help others who are just starting out on their journey.
Congratulations and welcome! Sounds like you've made some amazing progress in your marriage and life in general! So your journey and use of chastity began at about the same time? How did you come to the realization that you were neglecting your wife? It doesn't sound like you needed the chastity cage to stop masturbating. If so, I applaud you for that. Well done! What prompted you to ask her to hold the key? What was your story to her at the time?
This reminds me of my journey. We too started by limiting my orgasms and focusing on hers. I confessed to my wife that I had continued to masturbate throughout our marriage and asked her to stay involved and limit my cumming during sex. We had the same results in energy and improved intimacy and increased confidence for her. After a while I introduced chastity as a tool not a toy, as a way to help me remain honest and not masturbate, not even to have erections or edge without her presence and participation. You're already using chastity to help you at work. You need to find a way to tell her that the key to your improvement is that you're not masturbating anymore, that it used to "deplete your energy," but that wearing the cage has helped you. It's a tool, a way to help long-term, not some short-term kink. Good luck!
Great question! Mostly my request to her was based on my desire for her to feel more control and be able to trust me. I have to acknowledge that I think it's hot as well! To be honest, I wasn't 100% successful at avoiding masturbation...but I did limit it compared to previously.
Thank you so much! It does sound like we have similar journeys. I'd love to talk more sometimes. Also, I'm wondering...are you on BDSMLR. I recognize your name as blog I follow. This is my blog: https://goonparadise.bdsmlr.com/
Exactly! This has been our journey as well. Tell her you want to reserve your sexual energy exclusively for her but you need her help breaking free from the habit/ compulsion/ addiction to masturbate. Chastity and her holding your key will go a long way towards accomplishing that.