Anticipation

Update

I remain self locked the vast majority of time. If left unlocked, I will be masturbating.

I have reached a point that I am unable to get any kind of erection without the help of Ciallis. One little 5mg tablet and I can enjoy erections for a couple day. The new thing on the table is that I have stopped experiencing any kind of orgasm. I can still ejaculate. I just stopped having orgasms. Nada, nothing, Zippo. A ruined o at best.

When I was at the Dr. for my annual, I brought this up to her. She told me the the loss of orgasm was a side effect of the Ciallis. Cue, me with the very puzzled look on my face. She suggested that I try Viagra instead. Seeing that both of these medications are close to the same thing, I had my doubts about this but hey, she’s the Dr. what I learned about Viagra is that it gives me a terrible headache.

The Ed is no picnic, but no orgasm? This is all really beginning to mess with my head. I don’t really know where I go from here. It does make my desire to remain locked while having sex even stronger. A way to experience her orgasms and remain locked while making love..removes the “stress” of needing to perform.

Getting to tired to continue right now. More later.

 

Continuing

The Viagra did nothing for the lack of orgasm. I won’t be using anymore of them.

My bride is still not onboard with chastity, but she has been humoring my desire to be held in chastity by taking my key with her during the week. I know it means nothing to her, but it’s huge for me.

One evening when we had gone to bed, I started searching dildos on the internet with her. I’ve been wanting to get her a larger one than we had, and I think she was a little curious to try one also. We spent quite a while looking through various models and I gained a little insight on what she might enjoy. We didn’t find exactly what we were looking for before we started playing with each other but I had a good idea what to get her.

During the next week I found what she/I wanted. I found one with the 2” diameter we were looking for. Some features she was looking for, it needed to have a pronounced head. It needed to have veins on the shaft. She didn’t want smooth.

She ended up having Covid when it arrived so it was over a week before we got to try it. This past weekend was the first. To my surprise, she asked for it both nights.

It has more girth than she is used to. The first night, once we started playing with it she got very wet and after some slow gentle working, we got it in about 1/3 of its length. It puts out strong vibrations with two motors in it. She really likes that.

The second night we brought it out was the night we tried the Viagra. We got her warmed up using me, then once I had cum (no orgasm) she asked to try the new vibe again. I quickly retrieved it and added a little lube to it before starting to use it on her. She very quickly took control of it herself, and tried some of the different vibration patterns. She managed to take about 2/3 of it in that night. It’s pretty long so that may be all she is ever to take in but she seems to have a will to take as much of it as she can.
I don’t even know how many o’s she had but some were very strong. On one, while I had my hand on her opening. I swear I could feel her having contractions on the outside of her vagina.
I love sharing her orgasms with her.

So, here I am. Questioning my sexuality. First, I was unable to get an erection. Now, with the help of pharmaceuticals I can enjoy erections, and ejaculate, but am unable to orgasm. I have to ask myself, is it just in my head? Or is it something in the little head? Makes me wonder what kind of Dr. do I need to see.

Until next time.

 

This is one of those mornings I’m so happy to be locked. I’ve got some very stressful things going on right now. Have not slept well for the last few nights.

Had I not remained locked, I for sure would be having a wank this morning trying to break the tension.
In the back of my mind I know that I would be disappointed if I did. 1, I wouldn’t be able to get erect. 2, I would go until I ejaculated, not saving for my bride. 3, I would not have an orgasm.

So far, still saving for my bride.

Wish I could figure out this no orgasm thing. Has me feeling like I’ve become a eunuch.

 

Last night we ended up going out unexpectedly and I forgot to take a Ciallis. It was a little late when we got home and I had let my bride know that I had not taken a magic pill. Once in bed, I cuddled up to her and began working on a slow arousal for her. I had her close several times and she would stop me so that it could build even more for her. Last night was only fingers and sucking on her nipples. Finally she let me finish her with a nice, quivering orgasm. I swear her flower has gained muscles at points there are no muscles.

Once she had calmed down, I requested that she spank me. Or rub my balls. Or try to make me come in my cage. My requests were answered by her snoring. Nada for me last night. Oh well I guess.

we have a test of sorts coming up. My birthday is coming up soon.

Several weeks ago, I made suggestions of several things that I would like for my birthday this year.

One thing I asked for is something I have asked for three years running. I requested that she buy me some panties. This year I added the caveat that she get his and hers panties.

I also requested some kind of prostate massager. I’m curious to try this. Given my current situation with ED, and no orgasms, I’d really try to experience release some other way.

I had a couple other small items on the list that could be used by both of us.

Im fully prepared to be 100% disappointed and not get any of my requested items. Only shit I could care less about receiving.

let’s see what happens

 

Dropping in for a short update.

Wife still has not interest in participating in chastity.

It took me a while to realize it but I have stopped having orgasms. I realized that it may well be over a year since I experienced an orgasm. I still ejaculate, but there is no orgasm with it. Very much a ruined O.

I have visited with my GP about this and she arranged for me to see a urologist.

The visit with her (the urologist) was a very short visit. She told me that since I still ejaculate, the problems not in the little head. Its in the big head.
Ok then. She suggest I visit with a therapist.

Today found a therapist and arranged a tele appointment in a couple weeks.

This should be interesting!

 

I am so incredibly, sexually frustrated right now. Not in a good way.

I’m unable to get an erection at will.

I want to jack off.

I want to remain chaste for her but she doesn’t care.

Although I am skeptical of the therapy yielding anything, I am excited for the conversation.

The appointment can’t get here quick enough.
Ugh