Anticipation

I've been adding onto my introduction post since I joined the Mansion so have decided it's time to start posting my journey experiences.

I've posted lots of details about my current situation in my introduction, https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/need-to-say-it-out-loud.22247/ so I won't add them here.

Not much to comment on at them moment. I've been away from my bride much more than I have been with her. Just how the career choice goes.

Although she knows that I want to get a cage, she doesn't know that I have gotten one. I had told her that when I found one that would have a large enough ring to fit me, I would get it. I ordered a cheap cb6000s from Amazon knowing that the largest ring would be to small but I wanted to feel what it was like. With great difficulty, and much severe discomfort I could get the pins in but wearing it even for very short periods resulted in small blisters on the underside of my sack, it I really liked how the cage kept my tool harnessed and short. Not even the slightest chance that I could obtain an erection.

I took the leap and ordered the 2.25 ring hopping that it would allow me to wear the cage longer. To my pleasure, it did. It feels wonderful and I have been able to wear it for several hours at a time with no discomfort.

A couple evenings ago, I was wearing the cage and looking at porn, raising my excitement level. I was rubbing my balls, putting pressure on the side of them, the way that feels so good.

At this point, I need to give you some details. I am by no means, hung large. I am defiantly a grower. Also, on compared to average, my balls are very large. I have been wearing the 6000s, using the long pin and spacer with the new large back ring.

Back to the rubbing. I had the sensation, that if I rubbed a little harder, my nut might go through the ring. I never imagined that it could. Well, I had to push harder! Low and behold, my nut popped through the ring.

Tonight, I'm trying the second shortest pin and spacer. Once I get relaxed, I will give the nuts the push test and see if they pop through now.

As reported before, the last play weekend with my wife, she really seemed to enjoy denying my orgasms and getter her own. She sent me away making sure I did cum before I left.

Can't wait until we can get some more together, and alone time.

Oh ya, really enjoying the posts from MASH2214 On Display.

 

Have not checked in in a while. Not much to say. I have brought up being caged and wife is still not up for that. She still doesn't know that I have one. I did tell her that I have found one on eBay that would be large enough to get around the boys but, unfortunately she still won't go for it.

We did have a discussion one day about how she likes getting back rubs and I mentioned if she would cage me should could get them more often. She suggested that I might not ever get out of the cage if that where the case. Teasing a little but still not up for the cage.

Yesterday was a hard work day and I was hurting everywhere, and to some point dehydrated. This morning my bride was feeling a little frisky and I first made sure she had an orgasm.

Once it was my turn, I just couldn't orgasm. The work and dehydration must have been to much. She tried helping for quite a while to get me off but no dice. She then suggested that maybe she should tell me, hands off. I told her that would turn me on even more and that if she would lock my, I'd be delirious.

She just told me to get my hands off her cock.

Small steps.

 

I'm in the busy time of work right now and seldom get to see my bride these days. I still dream about eating her nearly every morning.
Have made no progress in interesting her in locking me up for play. :-( On one of our last nights together, she asked for a back rub. I gave her one and she really enjoyed it. Afterward she wanted piv. I suggested that if we had a chastity device, whenever she wanted a back rub, all she would have to do is lock me up and she would get one.
I'm planning on pushing this point a little in hopes she'll give it a try. Pleasure for you, pleasure for me exchange.
She still doesn't know I have a device so this might open up the door for us to order one if she would go along.

On another note, a few days ago I wanted to try and give myself a ruined o. I guess I failed but wow.
I stroked right to the point and then ceased all stimulation. At that point, my penis started very strong contractions,and then the semen started coming. It was the most intense orgasm I've had in a long time. It was also the largest release of cum I've had in a long time.

Will attempt a real ruined when situation allows

 

Ms Amanda's post really had me thinking today.

My conclusion:

1. I want my wife to pay attention to my junk. Putting it in a device is two fold. She has control of it, and I experience the feeling of being held and controlled.
2. I want to give my wife all the orgasms she can handle. I want to cum also but the head fuck of not knowing if She will let me is the key.
3. Since I am largely unable to control my masterbation, having her in control of when, how, and if I orgasm would enhance my sexual experience

Thank you Mascara^snake for getting me thinking about it.

 

I lost the rest of the post I started so adding on.

This video just turns me on like crazy, to the point of making my breathing become irregular. It gets me off every time. I would love to be the guy laying there watching a woman locking me up.

I have seen another video of a woman putting a cage on a well endowed black man and it is awesome to watch also.

Lots of videos just show a woman clicking the lock shut which can be ok but a woman putting the cage on is the hottest for me.

Sorry for the random rambling.

 

Got to meet up with my bride tonight and we went to dinner at a nice restaurant. On the drive to the restaurant she hiked up the hem of her skirt enough for me to see what she was wearing underneath. When I reached to touch she immediately informed me just looking but no touching. By the time we got to the restaurant I was already leaking.
I thought she was going to stay the night with me but she had to go back to our home. Before heading home, she stayed with me for a little while, showing me her feminine wears but not allowing me any contact.
We had some discussion about things going on in our day to day life right now and then she was off.

I know it's all pretty mild but I sure enjoyed it.
Was a fun evening.

 

Upon waking this morning I'm wanting to rub one out so bad. I'm not sure when my last o was, maybe a week ago? I have no idea how guys can go so long without cumming. To prevent myself from jerking off I immediately put on my cage. Oh, I want to masterbate soooooo bad.

 

Wow, recently realized its been two years since I first started trying to get my bride interested in holding me in chastity. Overall conclusion is that I have failed miserably.
Since I first became seriously interested in wearing a chastity cage, I have found that the "reasons" that I want this have shifted. At first it was a sexual thrill. Now my interest is more emotional. I at some point must realize that it likely will never happen as my bride has no interest in it, and it causes tension between us anytime I bring it up.
Now, as best as I can recall, a timeline since May 2017.
In the late fall of 2017, upon returning home to my bride from work, I brought the cage home with me, and very humbly offered it to her. That did not go well might be an understatement. I was crushed. I have hoped that we might have evolved enough that she would consider it with me. No chance.

About Dec 2017 I went to my doctor "female" for a physical. I had been having considerable ED issues for a couple months and worked up the courage during the visit to bring it up with her. At first she was going to fix me up with something like Viagra, but after more conversation, she asked about my testosterone levels. She looked back through records and found that a test I was given several years earlier, showed that my testosterone was low on the scale. It was still in acceptable but on the bottom end. Considering other symptoms I was having, she suggested that maybe I should try testosterone treatment. Ill give more details on this in another post in hopes it may help other gentlemen.

In any case, I started injections. At no point was my libido ever low. After about a month of being on T, I was seeing the results in a big way. Only at this point, my libido that was always pretty high, is now through the roof! This put me on a whole different level of horny. I then wanted chastity even more than before and of course my bride wants nothing to do with it.

Fast forward to Dec 2018. I decide to take some time off of T because the libido was going insane, and I was having other side effects from the treatment that started to really bother me. As expected, my ED returned full force. No erections for the month of Dec. Also, nearly no libido, which was kind of a relief. Id say it dropped down to about only 5%. In a way, it was a relief because I was no longer horny all the time. After a month of, I started injections again. Now, not wanting to get erections, and not able to get erections are two very different issues let me tell you. For me, not being able to have any erections was scary and depressing. After restarted the T, I expected the erections to come back in the first week. This time it didn't happen that way. Not the second week, or the third week. Finally, I woke with morning wood and it felt so good! It had been two month without an erection and I was beginning to wonder if Id ever have one again.

Finally in Feb, I was having erections again, and my libido shot back up to the top again.

SInce then, I have communicated a great deal with my bride about chastity, but I don't see I will ever have the keyholder that I long for. I still wear my device quite a lot when I am away from my bride, (most of the week) and I very much enjoy wearing it. At night it is a comfort for me and helps me feel calm. I really like the feeling of trying to get hard in the cage during the night. I like that I am unable to masturbate when I wake. I leave the key in another room so that I have to get up to go get it, and that is usually enough to keep me from masturbating.

The one thing that my wife does offer to me fairly regular, is that she allows me to pleasure her, and offers no relief for me. I do really enjoy when she does that. For now, I guess I have to be happy with that.

I feel that I can say that in the last two years, I have become a much better lover to my wife. In the last two years, she maybe has had more orgasms than the whole rest of her life. I have also noticed that her orgasm continue to get stronger. As many have stated here before, I totally get off on just her getting off. I makes me feel joyous every time.

Sorry for my rambling. Im not much of a writer.

 

My bride and I have not been able to get together for a couple weeks.
Last night, we were finally together.
I had fallen asleep, as did she. Sometime early in the night i woke and began making love to my bride using only my fingers and mouth. She was soon awake and very much enjoying my attention as indicated by her moans and sighs. I enjoyed the smell, taste, and texture of her womanhood. I always do when she allows.
I was able to bring her to a very nice orgasm, as she was coming down I gently nuzzles her clitoris until she calmed down.
Once she calmed down, I slowly moved up, gently sucking and nibbling on her nipples on the way. Then, just held her.
Once she started back to dreamland, i rolled off of her very content .

My penis had been given zero attention, and in fact, did not even get hard, leaking very little.
I enjoyed the evening so much. Pleasure, all for my bride, gives me pleasure.
My only regret,
I’m not locked.

 

This is the time of year that my bride and I are apart more than together.

Since she left yesterday, last night before turning in, I locked. I awoke this morning pressing very hard into the end of my Cb6000s. It is a sensation that I savor. For me, it brings comfort. Also, it comforts my mind because I know I am unable to masturbate with it on thus a step closer to saving my orgasm to share with her whenever we are together next.

I feel so differently towards her when I’m saving vs when I’m not. I cannot believe that she herself does not see the dramatic difference. I am not allowed to wear my device when we are together, something I want very much. I want to make love to her while I remain caged.

My wanting to practice chastity has put a strain on our relationship. I want to give her control over my erections and ejaculations. I want to give her all the orgasms she wants, with no expectation of needing to provide me one.

Sorry that I am such a terrible writer. I have so much emotion that I want to get out, I just can’t seem to put together a good post.

Anymore, I am trying as hard as I can to not mention anything to my bride about my need and desire to be locked,,by her.

I am ashamed of myself on many levels.

 

I’ve just finished pleasuring my bride this morning. Her orgasm this morning was very strong. It may be the first time I’ve heard he moan “oh god, oh god” on the build up.
She at first asked for just snuggles then after a but, rolled to her back which is her signal that she wants to be pleasured. I started softly rubbing her at which she quickly became very wet. She soon was telling me that she needed to have her clit kissed. It didn’t take long after that for her to start having wave after wave of contractions.
Once her orgasm subsided, I moved up on her and just held her and thanked her for letting my please her.
I was offered no stimulation or relief. I’m fine with that. It’s up to her.
What I am really craving is for her to at least let my lock myself up so that I can’t masturbate. My balls are aching now I and I could really use the comfort of the cage holding me confined

I can only hope that someday I will find the right words so that she would become my keyholder.

 

I often wonder to myself why I continue coming to the Mansion and reading when the likelihood of me every having my Bride hold my key are almost 0. It seems I just torment myself reading about others who have what I desire.

Nearly a month ago, early one morning upon waking, I told my wife that I would really like to have a conversation about my desire for chastity. Her response was a heavy sigh and no verbal response so, I’d didn’t say another word and got up and went about my day.

Roughly a week or so later, we had a trip together in the car, and to my surprise, out of the blue, she asked me what I wanted to talk about with chastity.
I told her that I really wanted her help with my masturbating. I told her that I feel closer to her when I’ve been denied orgasm, but on my own, after a few days, I just can’t help myself. I thought she knew how often a jack off but she she seemed surprised when she asked how often, and I told her. She told me that didn’t make her feel very good that I did it that much, even when she is around. I told her that I was sorry for that, and again let her know that’s why I want her help.
Even though I have told her, I can see that she still doesn’t see the connection between my masturbation, and how I am with her when denied.
I made a point of teller her how much better my orgasms are with her if I’ve been denied, but I just can’t help myself if left to my own.

I myself see, that I will most likely never have a keyholder. I know that I should just stop coming to the mansion and getting myself all reved up reading the story’s by those enjoying chastity. At this point, I would be happier if I could just put it out of my mind.

I know this is not entertaining for anyone to read but I’m using it for a sounding board to sort out my own feelings. Writing it down.

 

I have downloaded a book for her to read but she refused.

 

I’m working on a self imposed No-vember. My goal is to make it through the month without masturbating to orgasm. The only reason I have made it this far is the Cb6000s.
It seems dumb to me, that even though I’m my own keyholder, without wearing the cage, I cannot seem to refrain from masturbating.
As the days add up, I have some mornings that are very difficult to not go get the key and and rub one out.
My overall goal is to be ready for my bride whenever we can get together and she wants sex. It has been a long time since I have been able to orgasm with her. I am pleased to say that I have provided her with orgasms every time she wants one.
To my great sadness, my bride still refuses to do anything to help me with my masturbation. I have asked for her help many times and many different ways and get no response from her. At this point, even just verbal acknowledgment help would mean so much.
Currently, this has been the longest stretch of consecutive days for me to remain locked. Only unlocked on the few days I have been with my bride.