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Need to say it out loud

Discussion in 'The Foyer' started by LoneMan, May 17, 2017.

  1. Ive been a lurker here for some time and really enjoy the content.


    First of all, since I was very young, I have been aroused at the concept of being exposed to women and used for their pleasure. Even before I understood sex, I had these dreams.

    Fast forward, in my 30's, I discovered that I really liked having my balls played with. Tied, squeezed, pulled on, hit, anything I could come up with. I like my junk played with.... A lot. Then, a few years ago, I came across porn showing chastity. I was enthralled with it. The concept excited my hugely. I have a high stress life. The idea of taking the control of something out of my life thrills me..

    My wife, as much as I love her, is vanilla as they come. She virtually has no sexual imagination. Ive gotten her to go along with some of my kinks once in a while, but its rare and short lived. My best raging hadrons have occurred when she would do these things with me, and she even noticed how hard and big it would make me but apparently that doesn't interest her. Her needs seem to be, a little petting, a little rubbing, then she pulls me on top to mount her and do the deed. If she lets me go down on her, I can make her orgasm almost every time. I want sex to last longer, and I want her to have more orgasms.

    All my life I have masturbated too much. When I was younger, a couple times a day was no problem and I could still perform for my wife if by the off chance she was interested in some sex. Now that I'm older, I still masturbate almost daily but if I have any hope of sex with my wife, I now have to back off ahead of time in hopes she might get in the mood. I at times have difficult time achieving a hardon, (not by choice) and then actually cumming may be imposable.

    I have broached the subject of playing with chastity to her but her response is that I'm just a gadget guy. The closest we have played with the concept so far is one night, she set up for me to show her the porn that got me hot, and didn't allow me to touch myself. I loved that. I'm not sure she even allowed me to cum that night. That was the only time.

    After reading about how to size a chastity device, I discovered that I must be better endowed that I thought because there is no way, a 2" ring is going to fit around the package. I am a grower for sure, but must have huge balls by average. I ordered a cheap CB6000s knowing it probably would not fit but I wanted to try some kind of cage. I have managed to get it squeezed on around my balls with great difficulty but there is no way I can wear it for any period of time without it becoming very uncomfortable. I really enjoy the feel of my tool being encased in the sleeve though. It makes my whole body buzz. I will try ordering the 2.25 ring off of the net in hopes that it will be wearable. If it is, I hope to then introduce it to my wife for play.

    My daydreams and fantasies go much further than I have poorly typed out here but for now, this is my interest to the Chastity Mansion.

    Greetings everyone.
     
    Xtudo3002, sissybitch and Mash2214 like this.
  2. The motto of this site was "Be careful what you ask for! Take that to heart!
     
    Fiona Shaw and Mash2214 like this.
  3. If you want your wife to participate in your Chastity Journey. Make her the most important person in the world. Do things for her, to her to please her. If her life gets better with you in Chastity than she may become more willing to become your keyholder and do the things to you that give you the greatest pleasure. Show her that chastity is good for her also. Good Luck
     
    macmagna, sissybitch and DonnaSue like this.
  4. Thanks Mash, we have had some discussions on the subject, just hasn't gone any where. I should also post that the field of work that I am in would prevent any long term wearing. This would strictly be a weekend play event.
     
  5. If only we could have been born Rich. Just think of all the fun we could have if we didn't have to go to work. I know where your coming from. Your communicating that's the most important step
     
    sissybitch likes this.
  6. Very well said, @Mash2214@Mash2214 ! You boiled it all down very eloquently !
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  7. My heart is racing with excitement. I finally ordered the largest ring for the cb6000s in hopes it will enable me to wear the cage without getting the little blisters on my sac.

    If this works I will then introduce it to my wife in hopes it may encourage some play.

    On a side note, we had to take road trip one night a while ago and we had a nice (although short) conversation about if her clit was getting enough attention lately. She implied that it could use more attention.

    Fingers crossed.
     
  8. One of the most common questions here is "how do I get my vanilla wife to be my keyholder?"

    My response to that is fairly the same. This isn't a used car your trying to sell, it's a favor. Stop with the hard sell, all the benefits she will receive, how this is for her, and by all means don't mention how you will do more around the house or treat her better if you are locked. Their first reaction will be to ask why you need to be locked to help her, treat her well, or dote on her.

    You want her to do something for you, ask her. It's a favor to you, you would like help controlling your urges, you think it will help you communicate better, and you would like this to help build a bond between you that you believe is missing.

    Women in general are very giving, and if asked for help they may not like or understand it, but will be willing to try. This probably gets the cage on with her knowledge, the rest is up to you. If she sees or notices the changes in you, and you actually make the effort to make sure she does, chances are, she will warm very quickly to it. If you make it work for them, put demands on them, or try to tell her what to do and how to do it...she will tire of it quickly.

    Good luck
     
  9. I have posted many times to not show up with a hunk of plastic on your penis asking your wife to dominate you and make her be married to a submissive man. I agree with the theme of the OP. You need to condition your wife to view chastity as giving you pleasure. I started out very simply. I asked my wife to just tease me so that I skipped an orgasm. I told her that I wanted to see if it was much more intense the next time. When next time came around I acted like it was the best orgasm of my life and thanked her to denying me. After a few times like this I asked her to deny me two times in a row. That was not a big leap for her so she said yes. Once again my orgasm was portrayed as better than even before and that I felt so more energetic when feeling sexually aroused by her all the time. Of course, I was nice to her and made her feel like the sexiest woman alive. I also did something subtle. I thanked her every time she denied me but never thanked her when she gave me an orgasm. I would tell her that it was great but never said thanks for letting me orgasm. We went like this for about two months until I suggested that I go 3 weeks without an orgasm. My wife was willing since it had positive effects on me already. That is when I told her that I wanted to go that long but needed help in stopping me from masturbation. I told her that there is something popular to do that and I showed her to CB6000 online. She said if I wanted it to get it. Even after it came, I did not make her my KH until I had adjusted it right and got used to wearing it during daylight hours. I finally asked her to be my KH and gave her all the benefits we read about that she was supposed to get, which I really did not feel like doing but thought it was part of the chastity game. Turns out she did not want a slave as a husband and after weeks of trying, our rules kept on changing and got so complex with changes that affected other rules to the point where we were on different versions of the rules. Got rid of them and made one rule. My wife makes the rules and can change them anytime she wants. In other words, she could KH in a way she felt comfortable with.

    Throughout this I would make comments about how great I felt when denied and was wondering if being denied longer would be even better. We started out negotiating the minimum number of orgasms I got each year. Had to do that since my wife has not allowed intercourse for longer than we can remember, prefers sex with women and has absolutely no use for my penis. Her orgasms come via her vibrator. So she told me not to leave it up to her because she would like me locked up and never having an orgasm again. So we negotiated and also I asked for teasing at least once a week. We did this up until this year where I no longer have any say. It takes a loving wife a long time to not feel guilty about denying you an orgasm. Plus they have always validated their attractiveness and desirability based upon a man's orgasm. They have to be reconditioned to feel that denying you is giving you pleasure and making you orgasms makes you regret it and feel bad after it. That worked for us. Baby steps and do not through 3 different fetishes at your wife all at once. We did get into some domestic discipline and feminization once chastity with teasing and denial was firmly rooted. Turns out that we just like teasing and denial. I never did the housework or any of that stuff on the list you see on all chastity websites. I sometimes think that guys read it, get aroused by it and then feel like doing it until they are no longer aroused by it. My point is do not try to sell chastity as benefiting your wife. It is something you want and that she may enjoy after trying it. Do not set up expectations for her.
     
    Nicoftime likes this.
  10. I love how @Mash2214@Mash2214 put it, "Make her the most important person in the world. Do things for her, to her to please her. If her life gets better with you in Chastity than she may become more willing to become your keyholder"

    He's absolutely right. A lot of what you have said up to this point is about what you want and about wearing a device. Take this whole idea back to basics for a little bit. Take off the device. Don't look at porn any more. Try doing it on the honor system first. This will make all of the "Your just a gadget guy" conversation go away. Try to stop masturbating. Schedule your "O" so that you can get used to not doing it.

    Go for two days
    four days
    a week
    two weeks

    Have a conversation with your wife about increasing intimacy. This is super important because you both have different needs for "O" right now. Tell her how you want to spend more non sexual time with her, rubbing her feet, rubbing her back, watching shows with her, going on walks, kissing, hugging, etc. Tell her that you want to bring back some of the intimacy that you used to have. Start paying attention to areas that she is struggling in and help her.

    My wife wanted to loose some weight. So I started packing her lunch with fresh fruit and vegetables and low calorie dip. I changed how I was cooking for her. She is so happy with me right now! I'm not trying to tell you how great I am (which is pretty great... Just kidding.) but making a point. Stop thinking about you and start thinking about her.

    If you want to try chastity and you want her to participate show her that you are trying to stop masturbating, and want intimacy and interaction back.

    Stop looking at porn!
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  11. Back from our trip.
    My ring did not make it in time so didn't take the cage along.
    On the way had I brought up to my wife that on this trip, I wanted to give her as many orgasms as she could stand, and that if I had an orgasm, it would be at her hand. Totally up to her. Thanks for the advice Nicoftime about asking for what would pleasure me.
    The first night as she was laying on the bed, I started touching her and then sucking on her nipples. She loves to have her nipples sucked on. I eventually worked my way down and started eating her delicious pussy. As she's laying on the bed and I'm on the floor, while eating her I started rubbing my cock with her wet panties. Without realizing it I had broken one of my own rules by touching myself. Once she had had enough, she told me to go to sleep and don't be touching yourself. No orgasm for me.

    The next night was even hotter. I was laying on the bed reading when she came over, took away my reading, layer down on top of my midsection with her nightshirt pulled up enough to expose her bare ass and then she just layed there. I rubbed her back for a while and gave her the occasional swat. Soon I was brushing her pussy lips looking for her to get wet. She is laying over the top of my dick so it's not getting any rubbing but I was defiantly leaking.
    She got very wet and I was up to two fingers in her and she was really enjoying herself. She was not quite getting to orgasm so with my other hand I started using my other hand to start rubbing her butthole. She really enjoys anal stimulation. As I expected, that sent her over the top. Twice.

    Once she recovered and could take any more, she got up off of me and informed me that she had payed on top of me so that I could not masterbate while she received pleasure. She then told me that we were going to sleep and I was NOT to Be rubbing my dick at all that night. She would be watching me.

    She then slightly giggled and said, that was different, referring to the position she was in while orgasming.
    I was ready to explode and just vibrating. It took all my willpower to not start rubbing one out. I got up and went to the bathroom to pee and for the longest time, only long strings of precum would come out of my aching cock. I showed here the long strings and here rely was simply, ya.

    It was a long night with my whole body electrified and really want to masterbate but I managed not to. In the morning she grilled me about if I had masterbated during the night, which I replied no. She says, are you sure, your not lying are you.

    No orgasm at all for me for the weekend, several for her. I really enjoyed it.

    On the way home, I confessed many of my sexual feelings and thoughts were. It was a sharing conversation for me.

    Once home, the ring for my chastity cage has arrived. My wife still knows nothing about mee having a cage.
    I got the largest ring I could from locked up love and it fits. It feels great to wear the cage now. I had know idea my balls where so much over average size. The teasing I recieved in school about having bull balls must have been true. I didn't think I was larger than anyone else.

    Can't wait to see what's ahead.
    Thanks for the advice everyone.
     
    iome343 and Mash2214 like this.
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