Permanently Collared Soon?

My Mistress wants me in a permanent collar as well. It is an eternity collar. She has insisted that i wear it for a week or so at a time. It does have a profound affect on my mind, the knowledge of submission are constant (no escape). I find it to be extremely humiliating in public. She wants permanent but i resist. I'm not sure the world needs to know that i'm submissive. I can see the value of once you move that it be installed. No old friends or co workers to run into. I'm sure we'll work it out but right now i am resisting heavely

 

We try to distinct between the "vanilla" life, where we don't advertise our sexual preferences and our sexlife, with friends that are like us, at place that are sexpositive and with limited impact on our professional / vanilla life. The cage is not visible in my pants. so that's the bridge between both spheres. I would never a wear a collar in my home community - doing so in a club, at a nude beach or so is normal.

I know the idea to be outed and treated as a sub everywhere is sometimes appealing - but always think twice. It's not reversible and the sometimes you need the full respect of others.

Short anwser: Collar and other visible signs are only for safe places - not to limit myself in everydas life.

 

To quote the Borg! " Resistance is futile ". If Madame decides I need full time collar, I will enjoy my new hardware.

Good luck.

 

For some, subservience is play, for some, subservience is a lifestyle.

 

@Madam Darling
So true, and in my opinion if subservience if to become a lifestyle - a committed FLR, if You will - then the decision to have Her boy collared is entirely Hers - his only decision is to submissive and obedient and to wear Her collar with pride (for everyone to see).

 

At the same time, we have a marriage to look after. If he was to push against it, we could work out some type of alternative. But I'm not really very interested in accommodating his wishes, and he knows this. The pushback is usually only reserved for hard limits.

It's not like we don't have a great relationship, and I'm not willing to sacrifice that for a kink. But it is becoming more of a lifestyle for us than a game.

 

I think we do have a misunderstaning; We don't advertise our lifestyle - doing so and making it visible to everybody looking is diferent.

 

Right. You have a sex life, (meaning it's confined to the bedroom, or people with whom you share your bedroom activities) or you have a lifestyle, (meaning it's a part of your every day life, and people will know about it, based on that lifestyle.

"Lifestyle" doesn't mean you advertise it, it just means that you're living it. If you're vanilla outside of the bedroom, that means your play is probably a part of your sex life, and therefore not necessarily a lifestyle.

Just because it's a major part of your home life and sex life, if you aren't allowing others to see, it's likely not a lifestyle.

 

I don’t know if this would be too forward and if I’m being too curious you of course have no obligation to answer whatsoever, but I feel like I must ask; what collar did you decide upon and or purchase and did it meet your expectations? The suspense is just…so much and the mystery, part of me just wants to know. I apologize if this is too prying and I thank you for your time and consideration and I appreciate how open you’ve been with us as to get glimpse into your relationship dynamic. If I’ve overstepped or that is too personal, again, I’m sorry. In any case, I hope the collar that you decide upon enhances your connection and adds to your relationship in a positive way.

 

I went with this one because I didn’t have to worry about whether it would be here on time. It should be delivered in the next couple of days. He’ll wear this one until I can get something a little more sleek. But at 6’3” and about 275 lbs, he can be pretty intimidating, even dressed normally. I’m curious to see people ask him about it.

 

Oh wow! That’s amazing! Thank you so much. You are an inspiring couple. I appreciate you answering my question. I think this is going to be a fun ride for both of you and that collar is a real statement all by itself.

A free tip, if you want him to wear it on a 24/7 basis, consider putting it on where the screw head part in facing down toward the floor so that when he showers it doesn’t collect water in the hole as the bottom of the screw is less likely to hold water in it. This would be also be harder to see the fairly obvious locking point by onlookers so it would look more seamless on the top when you look at the collar especially if the screw bottom sits flush with the top end. It makes removal a little easier too I find since you come from the bottom of the collar up into the screw head and don’t have to fight with the jawline or neck when removing for maintenance and/or cleaning of the collar itself (which could be a submissive task you have him do every 6 months to a year or when it needs a good shine) though you have to be careful not to drop that screw whichever way you choose to lock it.

I hope that helps. Thank you again, I appreciate it very much.

 

That sounds like great advice. I’ll make sure to keep it in mind.

 

These are lovely collars, i have worn one for years, not as a sign of being in a FLR more as a sign that i have surrendered my sexuality to my wife, goes well with my semi permanent CB. They are quite big and obvious collars though, ive had some strange looks and also some smiles from the ladies over the years. But it for me could never be a permanent collar as it dam near impossible to hide,, workwise or in front of vanilla friends and family.

Therefore for normal permanent use i wear a locked 8mm metal braded collar.

An alternative that i also like is simply a length of linked chain from a hardwear shop, cut to size secured with a large padlock, now thats very nice especially if warm, but definately very BDSM, worn with a huddie, the chain can be seen but isnt in others faces.

It serves to remind me who i am her locked cuck husband.

 

nice looking collar!