Hello there, thanks for checking out my post. While I'm the one posting, we are a couple that are dipping the toes into the waters of chastity. I finally gathered the courage to ask my wife for this a few weeks ago. As many of you can imagine, that has led us to many conversations, email and text exchanges. It will be a work in progress for sure, but one that I'm so grateful she's coming into with an open mind. She doesn't get it/understand it, she's willing to go indulge and I feel truly lucky. We've agreed to take this in steps that work for us. One of our latest discussions was just a simple check in from her of how it was going for me. Overall it's been good and I felt I was ready for the next step. I am not to the point of being able to wear it overnight and still trying to figure out what ring I need to use (HT V4 knockoff). I wish they went by 1/8" increments as I'm in the 1.97" which is fine but not quite secure enough yet the 1.77" is very tight. It's something I think I can work towards, but my body isn't ready yet to accept it yet. But today, we took a very big step. She's agreed to hide one key in the house for emergencies and take one with her to work. I will wear my cage all day without access to a key for the 1st time! This was a huge step for me and her; and I'm so grateful for her. For now, I we will continue with this approach where I'll only wear it during the day and she'll give me the key to release at night. Eventually, my goal is 24/7, but baby steps...1 day at a time and we'll get there eventually. With that said, how long did it take you to get to wearing your device 24/7? And, if you've tried several devices, what's your favorite/why?
Don't make 24/7 a goal right away. Just enjoy giving your Wife the power to control you sexually. It's a gift from you to her. Just remember, gifts are best given without strings. Don't complain, don't beg, don't guilt her, don't suggest time lines or press her for sexy play, just play it Fonzi cool and let her enjoy it. That being said, if it hurts or is uncomfortable, ask her to let you take it off for a while. It's in both of your interests to develop this twist in your lifestyle slowly, over time.
hello @Stephplayswithyou and welcome to here and i hope you like it here as well. i hope that you have got a nice comfy cage. my first cage was a cb6000s and it was nasty and hurt me and i had a lot of metal ones after and now i got a little plate and that is nice and comfy for me and i got another one that i wear at nite what is a bit bigger and that is comfy as well.
Thanks for the advice and guidance, appreciate it and looking forward to seeing how this new twist does develop over time.
Hi and welcome I hope you find what your looking for on this site it’s a bit of trial and error but persevere and you’ll find the right fit, just extend the time you spend caged and increase your tolerance, if you want a chat at some point please don’t feel shy we all have to start somewhere
Dont rush her.. shes already gracious enough to embark on the journey with you.. and keep the key along.. its exciting to handover the control of your own manhood to her.. what are your plans..? To remove only for sex.. or for scheduled masturbation.. or as a reward for great tasks / goals done..?
I've definitely learned that I have to slow down and let some things happen naturally. Many have echoed that same advice and I'm grateful. While this is what I want, I have to remind myself this is still very new for her and yes, it's awesome she's willing to take the keys. As for an update, we're on a 2nd device now and I'm in a CK short wide. Finding this to be a better solution with the more open design but have to keep working on the correct ring. Current one works, but need smaller version for sure. As for my goals, I simply don't want this to stop. I want to make sure I don't do anything that would keep her from wanting to continue. She still very much likes PIV sex vs oral, and I'll never turn that down. Just need to get her to be okay with not letting me have an O every time. I'm looking forward to seeing how this evolves and remain hopeful she get more comfortable taking charge in the bedroom. For several reasons, we're still not at the point of being able to hand over complete control, so again, I curb my expectations. But if I can get this new device dialed in, maybe there's a chance we'll see some new progress and confidence.
I started with HT knock off cages (small, nano, nub) but ultimately found that switching to a metal cage with a circular base ring was much better. I got the following cage with a 45mm ring: https://www.ebay.com/itm/293156642997 Edit: here's one where the 45mm ring is in stock: https://www.ebay.com/itm/184947930755
@Chaz69 , thanks for that, I do like the idea of metal but have yet to try one. For me, the challenge I see with the design of the one you sent is when it comes to going to the bathroom. I don't see how could get everything lined up well enough to where it doesn't spray everywhere, thus making a mess which I do not find pleasing. So far, I've stuck/lean towards those with the slit opening at the end to make this a bit easier. Combined with a shorter cage also helps so it doesn't move and stays lined up. What is your experience from that perspective on is it messy when you go to the bathroom?
Peeing is not a problem. If I don't realign things, it does come out of the side but there's no mess. And it's easy to realign, i can just stick my finger in the back and pull it back and that realigns it. I had tried many cages before finding this one and this one has been a godsend!!! The ring on the HTs was really thick, I think it was about 1/2 inch thick, plus they have that kinda square "ergonomical" shape and with the larger ring by left nut kept popping out. With the metal cage, the ring is quite thin and the circular ring matches up much better with the circular ring on the cage, so the gap is very limited, meaning no nuts are going to escape. But the real surprise was that nocturnal erections no longer hurt, they could be quite uncomfortable with the HTs. The other big thing for me is, I'm uncut so I need to be able to pull my foreskin back (using Q-tips) to clean, which you can't do in the HT cages. What can I say, all this in a $14 cage, when others are spending hundreds for custom ones, I think it's amazing. If you search for A259 on eBay, you can find other sellers offering it, so you might find a better price or quicker shipping or something.
Regarding the size of the base ring of your chastity device. Some of us are lucky enough to have one of the "three increments" (40mm, 45 mm, 50 mm) offered by the vendors of inexpensive cages fit us perfectly. None of these ever fitted me perfectly, and the varying thicknesses of the base ring in various models never worked out for me either. And the workmanship on cheap steel products imported from Asia was hit and miss. Eventually, I paid a little more and settled (comfortably ! ) into a cage from malechastitynow.com. A standard flower top design with a custom 48 mm ring. (Non-metric measurements are also available. ) http://malechastitynow.com/measuring.html ++++++++++++++ Good luck with your search. Don't rush things . . .
I wouldn't even mention denial at this point. Just focus on her keeping you locked except when she wants you out. Then you can tell her that if she wants oral or any other play that you don't expect that to lead to more unless SHE wants more.
Congratulations for taking the first very difficult step of asking her. You must have presented it well. Checking in is a good habit. We do it almost weekly over a glass of wine. If you add more activities to your chastity such as a FLR, it will become even more important. When checking in, don’t forget to ask her how it is going for her. If she responds, listen, and ask if she would like for you to correct something. Ask, because she may only want you to know about it. We started out with some Chinese metal devices with varied results. Some were terrible. After getting a custom cage from MCN, 24x7 wear was immediate and comfortable. Have fun!
So be it.. removal for piv sex just as when and where she requests it.. thats the epitome of the male chastity.. her calling, her initiation and her manner that she likes.. only when she is satisfied will she unlock you… i wish i could reverse the time and relive the moment again…
Thanks, I like that idea and I can see how this could help her become more comfortable taking charge.
Absolutely and definitely try to get her to open up, just not much there from her side. And yes, wasn't perfect and a work in progress, but I'm glad she said she'd give it a try. It's still from a, if this is what you want aspect, so not much going on other than I'm locked up. She hasn't went down the teasing or really taking charge role yet.whuch is fine, we go at her pace and I'm trying to let things happen naturally. The fact I'm here, locked as I type, is a big step for us on this journey.
Yes, that's the goal that one day she takes the reigns and runs with it. It's been me taking the lead for so long that I think it's hard for her to take that back. Will take time and be a slow process. I don't expect it to change overnight, we'll get there and thanks to some great talks with many of you here, I know I have some great advice I can follow as well.
I'll never forget the first time my keys were locked in a combination lockbox and I didn't have access to the combination for 48 hours. I'll never forget snapping that lock shut and the lump in my throat!