Pastures New

I first heard about cock cages from watching the TV program Good Girls Guide to Kinky Sex on Channel 5 in the UK. This was in 2020 at the start of the covid pandemic. I told my wife about cock cages. From the smile on her face I thought that she maybe keen for me to use a chastity cage.

For over a year she has been controlling when I can masturbate. I only masturbate when she releases me. I’ve purchased a number of cock cages. Some times I have been locked up, but recently we’ve used the honour system. I’ve gone from masturbating many times a day prior to chastity, to now roughly once a week.

At the same time our relationship has changed and I think I have become submissive. I have a number of rules. I vacuum the carpets, clean the bathrooms, make her a drink in the morning as she gets up, sleep in a separate bedroom, etc. I know that if I break the rules or annoy her I won’t be allowed to spank the monkey anytime soon.

 

I’ve started giving my wife nightly neck massages. When she’s finished with me she tells me to go and sleep in my bedroom.

She has started spanking me with her hairbrush. When I have done something wrong I take the hairbrush to her and she punishes me. The second time she spanked me I was wearing a Gates of Hell chastity devise.

She also teased me saying that she was about to release me but because I had done something wrong I was to stay chastised.

My goal is to make my wife’s life easier and less stressful. I think she is more confident and assertive. I still find it hard to tell her how I feel and what I want.

 

Last week felt different. I drove my wife to her exercise class and as she got out the car she thanked me and gave me the chastity key. Then the following evening after I gave her a neck massage she released me again.

When released I am only allowed to masturbate. I’ve started to use a Fleshlight Pink Lady. I would like to buy the Shower Mount attachment for it, but I haven’t asked permission yet.

I asked her which chastity device she liked the most. She said the plastic Holy Trainer from Lock the Cock, because she can see my flesh and thinks that it is comfortable. She’s not so keen on the metal cages. I also have a Strict Leather Male Chastity Device Harness which she is happy for me to wear.

Mid week I got a text message from her saying that I was going to be severely punished.

 

I thought I would be released this week, but she didn’t allow me. I never ask to be released even though I want to be and get exited at the thought.

One of the hardest rules I have is to not say “no” to my wife.

I’ve been in chastity for over a year now. Recently she read 9 Orgasm Denial Games on Bad Girls Bible. Edging and ruined orgasms are very new to us. It feels like the more control she has over me, the more I want to submit and please her. I think male chastity can help with communication and trust. She is not taken advantage of. It also reinforces that she doesn’t have to have sex just to please me.

 

Thanks to the people who have posted comments which are positive and supporting.

I was released this week. I had a stressful meeting and she thought it would take my mind off things. On Friday night I was allowed to sleep in her bedroom. We cuddled and I massaged her neck. The next morning I said that I wanted to kiss her body.

I asked her if we could do an experiment for a week, and that she should tell me to do things without her having to say please and thank you. She said that it was not natural for her but she might do it for a day.

 

I didn’t kiss her goodbye when she left for work on Thursday morning. I got a text message very soon after telling me to scrub the kitchen floor as a punishment. Without hesitation I brushed and washed the floor. She seems to be more confident to ask me to do tasks. I would really like it if she was to lie down and for her to tell me where to kiss and touch her.

I told her about Locktober. I don’t think she will now release me for over a month now. This will be the longest time that I have gone without an orgasm.

A friend asked us how we resolved issues and which one of us more likely to back down. My wife said that a lot of our views we not that different and we agreed on a lot of things. Communication is important. We haven’t told anyone that I am in chastity.

 

She told me that I need to get better at doing the laundry!

She does not like it if I use words like mistress, slave, submissive, etc. She’s okay with assistant. So does that make her the boss?

I haven’t been released for a long time and I am bursting. I wish she would tease me and say something like “I’m not going to release you this week because …” or “I might release you at the weekend”.

I am going to talk to her about using a notebook to keep a record of the things that I do badly. Each infraction could have demerit points. We could also record good things that I have done. She thinks that spanking is violent and she is reluctant to spank me as a punishment. She prefers to delay my releases instead.

 

I was bad and disrespectful to her this week. It took a couple of days for me to apologise to her. She has now started to write things in the infraction book. I am given up to ten demerit points per infraction. I did six things badly and she gave me forty demerit points in total this week. She suggested that every Sunday evening she will review the book and determine what punishment I get. These include:

• Delaying my release
• No TV, computer or phone
• Scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush
• She’s also chosen some other punishments from 58 Low Impact Punishments For The Beginner To Gentle Femdom

She also told me to go to the doctor. Before chastity I think I would have just put off going to see the doctor. Now I do almost all the things she wants without delay or argument.

Before she falls asleep each night I always ask her “is there anything else I can do for you?”

 

I’m still in chastity, but we haven’t talked about things recently.

I gave her a couple of back massages. I used some “hot rock massages” for the first time. She was not impressed with them and preferred me to use my hands and some massage oil. If you are keen to try stone massages my advice would be to go to the beach and pick up half a dozen stones and save some money.

I woke up early and disturbed her sleep. When she got up she teased me about releasing me. In the evening she spanked me with a hairbrush. It’s the first time that she did it really hard, but it was not painful.

We were using the honour system. In December she started telling me when I had to wear a cage. One time I said no, she canned me and then spanked me hard with a wooden hairbrush. This is the first time that it was painful. When she finished she said, in an authoritative tone, that I should never say no to her.

She thinks that I am topping from the bottom and are deliberately doing things to get punished. I suggested that she tell me in advance that I am going to be punished. I think she is more confident and is enjoying the power.

She is happy for me to watch porn. However, I want to limit the amount of porn I watch.

 

Last week she mentioned a friend of hers was having problems with her husband. She said to me “maybe her husband needs a cock cage”. We then had a frank conversation about her talking to her friends about the benefits of chastity. At the moment she would not feel comfortable doing this.

She also said that male chastity was broadening her mind. She based her thoughts about BDSM on what she has seen on the TV. In her opinion, the programs often make the people into BDSM look a bit screwed up.

Slowly her opinion is changing and she is accepting that chastity has helped our relationship. I asked her about the positive things that chastity has done. She said that there was better communication between us and that we are more open to each other. I think a lightbulb moment came when she compared our “chastity” relationship to her friend’s.

That evening, when I was in bed, she said that it was time to punish me. I looked around and she had a hairbrush in her hand. It’s the first time that she has instigated a punishment. I think she likes things that make a loud “thwack” on impact.

 

I have started to give her body massages. I haven’t done this for years. As she lies on the bed naked I feel privileged. She said that if she felt uncomfortable she would tell me. I know if I touch her boobs or pussy without her permission my time in chastity will have been wasted and she will not trust me.

She must realise that I have changed. For her part she has helped tame me. I now realise that I was selfish and used to think only about what I wanted. My priority is to please her and make her happy.

I had some pain and she allowed me to not wear the cage for a couple of days. I want to get a new cage as the one I wear most is not very well made and the chrome has started to wear off.

One night I tried sleeping in her bedroom without her permission. She seemed really angry and told me that she would have released me that night if I had not done this. Her dominance made me very hard and I lay awake thinking about this. In the morning I told her how this made me feel.

 

I need some advice.

A couple of nights ago when she was getting into the bath, I looked at her and thought she had shaved off all her pubic hair. I wasn’t sure as she has never done this. She seemed a little shy and we both said nothing.

The next day I kept thinking that I was imagining things. When I gave her a massage that evening I noticed that she had shaved herself

How can I tell her that she looks great without putting my foot in it?

 

I think you are spot on and thank you for the good advice.