Why don't more females participate on Chastity Mansion?

Always enjoyed L-u-c-y's thread shaming wankers who messaged her.

 

i have appreciated some xy's here but few and far between. this site is dominated by wolves in lambs clothing. maybe they are locked but their alpha male dominant egos fly free here more often than not. more so the few that seem to comment to almost every thread impart little if any useful information. read and say nothing is the modus operandi of late if i even visit at all.
lastly, i do not understand why a xy would want to pretend to be an xx. i surely would not want to pretend to be an xy. "verified female" makes me feel like here is another group trying to make me feel subjugated all over again after working so hard to be free of male dominance. i find it difficult to understand how any dominant xx is not offended by this practice. i wonder what they will want next? blood?

 

I've asked my wife why she doesn't post, as she does have a unverified profile, She said she simply doesn't have time to read or post here (someone always wants mammy).

 

...sneaky little catfish? Nah, they are Fuxxxxx Axxxxxles! Sexual delinquints. Cyber conmen. Nasty stinking perverts. No words are strong enough to condem the pollution and waste that these PEOPLE breed.

Verification is only one step to weed them out, but even then it has been reported here that such catfish can even get verified!!

If we give up verification its like giving up our nuclear deterrent and inviting Vladimir and Xi to march over us!

Humans are not cuddly bears.

 

We all live in a world, part real part fantasy. Each one of us could choose to step out at anytime, but we like to be caught between worlds. I dislike the fantasy wrapped up as fact as much as the next person, as I primarily see this as a place to learn, rather than something to feed a porn habit. But I do wonder if we invite this kind of behaviour, simply because of the nature of the website. The pretenders will never understand until they make their fantasy a physical reality.

We can help them on their journey, if we are understanding of the fact that some are only at the start of it, and we all have to start somewhere.

 

I believe that because men are introduced to sex (via their own hormones and body parts, porn - magazines or videos, which are SO readily available), they develop a twisted idea or sex, love, fantasy and reality.

males don't quite get (those that are into these things and hyper sexual) why their first few, probably younger, Female sexual partners, are not at all what they've seen in the those ways (porn). It's confusing, for both parties involved. And sometimes very disappointing.

I have proven time and time again to Pretty Monnica that fantasy and reality are two very, extremely different things.

~ Goddess Violet

 

I know this from my wife. We have a big age difference, and she is more than 10 years older than I am.

She likes sex, as do I, but we have quickly learned that the clocks of men and women tick differently, as far as the timing of pleasure is concerned.

It's all about when you want, how often you want and how you want it. We also quickly realized that it is better when "man" keeps to the beat of the woman, because this creates more fun for both.

Also, what you see in porn feels good in the "head", in reality, however, this can fully backfire.

Since I never forget how we once tried a ball squeeze. The metal device just hurt, but joy it did not prepare, yes the penis remained strangely hard, but a pleasure it was just not, even if I had imagined it differently before. Just head cinema.

The good thing was that we could laugh about it as a married couple and the device ended up in the box under the bed. For our Sissy girlfriend is the greatest, you like it when the balls become blue and sometimes sore.

As my wife always says: "My husband is a pussy, my sissy is a maso".

*Laughs*

But many are not aware of this beforehand and you do not understand the difference between doing something yourself to arouse or masturbate and when someone else does it.

Since I can always quote the saying of my wife well:

"If you pull out a sting, it usually works, if someone else does it, it may hurt more or less. But if you don't open your mouth, or cry, the other person only gets it to a limited degree!"

That's why having fantasies is fine, but if "woman" wants or needs to hear different fantasies every day, it can become exhausting.

That's why my wife has also begun, if you find a man intressant, to say directly and clearly what SHE wants!

And if it then does not agree to an intersection "X", it is not even made further.

 

I agree. There was a learning learning curve when I chose chastity and sharing it with my wife. Then a sudden realisation that whatever my fantasy is, if she doesn't share it, then I really don't want it to become reality. We all have turn ons and turn offs. One of my turn offs is my wife not enjoying or being comfortable with something, and that trumps any fantasy I may have.

 

I can't quite answer this with surety, as it's an area that I am still exploring and learning within.

My partial answer, i.e. as best as I can explain it thus far in my journey, is that I, personally, do need to be appreciated, loved, and desired. Sex may have been a substitute for that, or it may have simply hid that aspect, or ... I'm not sure.

But I have learned (and realized) that I was failing to provide that same appreciation to my wife, and I was failing to provide real desire for her (i.e. not just sex). And there was something else that I was failing to provide, which is respect. This hurts to say, and I am ashamed to say it, but I really did not respect her. I thought I did, but respect without consideration is not respect, and "acting respectfully" without actually having respect for someone, is not respect. There were many ways that I was disrespectful; I don't want to enumerate them (both because it's painful for me to do so, and because some of it is a bit too personal.) With what I have learned though, I would say that if one does not respect one's partner, then one does not truly love that partner. And I was that guy; I was that asshole.

But yes, I am learning to be a better husband, and part of that journey was learning to truly appreciate her, respect her, and desire her. Yes, to truly love her, non-stop. It's not an instantaneous change. But I have a strong sense, from her that I am actually getting better at this thing called love, and it is apparently quite obvious to her, and it is appreciated.

 

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/free-chastity-keyholding.35131/

This thread keeps coming up. Despite Lucy saying she wasn't doing it anymore, they keep asking.

People don't read the whole thread

 

Sometimes people are so lost in and obsessed with the fantasy, they only see and hear what that want to hear. Sadly.

 

My madam has other hobbies that take up her on line time, and prefers it real-time. Most of the time I’m on here is when my madam is out.

 

While I don't have the time or inclination to read all of the posts so if I happen to repeat another's post with the same please forgive me.

My two cents as to why more women don't join, participate, or even stay... Well... the bombardment of DMs as described probably is the main reason, but that would extend from the chasties 1. being unsupervised, and allowing the little head think for the big head. 2. not knowing their place.

In the nearly 6 years I have LIVED the FLR lifestyle, yes lived... many see this as a freaky kinky fetish fantasy, an exciting way to get their rocks off, and some of us actually understand what an FLR represents.

I believe if the chastie is a true chastie, then they should know better then to bring disrespect to any female... keyholder or not, in the lifestyle or not. I can only speak for my relationship whereas I am NOT to bring shame to my keyholder in no way shape or form. My expected behavior is to be above reproach, something that makes my keyholder proud to say yes, he belongs to me!

Additionally, something that has confused me is how are you in an FLR if you don't have a keyholder? I was recently a member in a social chat room labeled Women in Charge of FLR. A vast majority of the male members didn't have a relationship, a wife, a GF, or a keyholder, well what the hell are you doing here!!!

I am honored to be a chasted male in a loving FLR. I make it a point to thank my keyholder for her consideration and acceptance of this relationship every day, sometimes it is a simple thank you, most of the time it is by the service to her that makes her life simple and enjoyable so she can have to time to fulfill my fetish fantasies.

Thanks,

Subby Hubby

 

Thank you for your input. Well said.

As for your meme, My sissy and I have recently realized we're into feel... well, she's into Mine (in a non-sexual). I quite like your concept and picture.

Thank you,
Goddess Violet

 

I find this thread to be an amazing testament to the loving, supportive, giving relationship between @Goddess Violet and @Pretty Monnica.
If I could find my 'other' and attain half of what you have together it would be incredible.
I've had conversations with more than one Dominant woman on such sites and the overwhelmingly common thread is one of being swamped by approaches as soon as they sign up. One line, banal' me me me' statements, men who haven't read and taken note of what's actually in a profile, men ignoring the details of who a Woman seeks, thinking they're an exception. I've even talked to a lesbian who kept getting approached by men to dominate them! I mean, say what??
It's sad but, mostly, it's the crass behaviour of men that drives Women away. It's impossible for them to connect with genuine men who are a match - the lovely tree in the middle of a dense wood!!
Why can't people be sensible, respectful, nice and positive instead of rude and abrasive.
It doesn't get you far in real life and won't get you anywhere here either.

 

I don't visit visit here very often because I'm still an aspiring key holder. While I don't think that I know everything that I can possibly know about chastity without participating in it, I've found that:

• understandably, I see repeats of the same questions and concerns
• there's only so much that I can understand about the specific fit of a chastity device without having someone to lock up in one
• reading about the amazing highs and benefits just kinda makes it more clear to me that I'm not actually a key holder yet

Then there are the few times that I post something, especially if I start a topic. Almost certainly I'm going to get something in my DMs that will eventually lead to being asked if I've changed my mind about long-distance / virtual key-holding. After having poked at it a bit within the past year, the answer is "no" - I just can't bring myself to care outside of a few random duration clicks every few months.

If my situation changes, i may become a more active member. Until then, it's probably going to keep being sporadic visits.

 

I don't come here a lot, either. Husband has some pretty hard limits on discretion. I get the occasional out of line PM, but, I've always made it clear that it's husband and me and I don't hold keys for anybody else and I don't need any slaves, either.. I made that clear when husband was still boyfriend.

Most people have respected that.

 

I originally came to this site as I was curious to find out about the lifestyle and find a way to move my slightly disappointing current relationship into my dream of being in an FLR. What I found where was a load of entitled men bossing it out and obsessing about their self-imposed denial. Too much talk about the detail from a male perspective and not much about the strategy from a female angle. I continue to search......

 

Give the power to the ladies. It's probably too complicated to execute, but a three strikes and you are out from a verified female might put the dampers on the Direct messaging and have a knock on effect in the forum content

 

I really value the real female perspective. I have much to learn still, and so does my wife. But there's no way she would trawl through the dross to find the small percentage that is relevant to her. In fact she would not be comfortable with much of it.