Why don't more females participate on Chastity Mansion?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Pretty Monnica, Sep 14, 2021.

?

Why don't more females participate here?

Poll closed Yesterday at 9:25 AM.
  1. Leery, weird, submissive men that contact them, despite relationship status?

    16 vote(s)
    32.0%
  2. Long term members with an axe to grind who make comments that disengage or discourage them?

    4 vote(s)
    8.0%
  3. Being told to verify in the introductions, despite being very politely asked to verify upon joining?

    3 vote(s)
    6.0%
  4. New members that join and message every Domme they can find on the first day, as if on a dating app?

    12 vote(s)
    24.0%
  5. Other. (please explain)

    15 vote(s)
    30.0%
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  1. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    I'm sure by now all of you little, bored chasties have seen the drama, my very new to the site Goddess received in another poll thread from a longtime member today.

    In me, I was just sort of saddened, because in it, one of a few reasons women don't participate here, is that they come in very optimistic and hoping to learn, and wind up a bit thwarted by the bombardment of several factors that I see. (as listed in my poll choices)

    As I am partly female, I get it. Coming here at all is daunting for a woman, particularly a budding Domme, still gaining a foothold, a loving partner, hoping to find information, and being bombarded with a shit ton of bullshit alpha male crap, in a place where that's not supposed to be. There are bullies here, snarky, bored, chasties with nothing better to do than nitpick their responses. They say mean things, do mean things.

    It can be abrasive. Wolfpack mentality, if one person picks up on a lack of confidence. There is always, with every single new female member brave enough to introduce herself, some moron who says "you can verify if you contact Lucy", not knowing, Lucy has politely asked them upon joining to do this very thing, to help us, the chastized know if we are dealing with a catfish, or not. Or 'that guy' who calls them out as a phony? Belittles them in their responses.

    It can be overwhelming for them, as a new member suddenly hit with stray DMs, junk pics, begging, random crap.

    New members who join, and essentially contact every Domme on the site in a weird, gross btw, horny anxiety at actually talking to 'any' female even remotely connected.

    Did you chasties know that in one day, a new female member can get up to 50 notifications? Think about any female you know, do they want this much attention from any site they join?

    I dunno. I would love it if the females who do actually read this to chime in. Lucy, Apex Predator of Dommes, has built a wonderful thing here. Why aren't you using it? I would guess she wonders the very same.

    And to the dudes here, and I do use the term loosely because you are just as pathetic as I am at your core, read it. Consider it. Don't take offense.

    Let's have some feedback.

    Why is there basically 1-3 females who interact for every 50 males?
     
  2. Pretty Monnica
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    #2 Pretty Monnica, Sep 14, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2021
    And to any long-term members who want to bust in here and act ignorant, I will call out that shit. You won't come out of it looking real important, or as having an opinion that matters. You know exactly who you are, pricks.

    Go do what you do. Insult, insinuate, act passive aggressive, whatever. Find another thread to do your thang.

    Nobody, and I do mean no-fucking-body gives two squirts as to what you think, you miserable pinheads.


    Make my day. I will make an example of you, and absolutely call you out on it. Yes, this is what I want to be, but I am an alpha male construction crew chief in my day to day. I will absolutely take you out to the woodshed and make you look completely fucking stupid, as was the case earlier with ol King Negative-o in another thread.

    I'm submissive to one person. My Goddess.

    I'm heartless with meatheads. Call it the female in me.

    I want all of you chasties to watch and learn, and let the females speak here. If you are truly into this, you get that.

    If you aren't, go fucking cry about it in another thread.
     
  3. Weeble
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    I'm a long term male member and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to bust in on but.....

    One of the issues I have is the number of men who make a female account, pretend to be female just for the wank fodder and really are just a pain.

    I can't decide if these people make it better or worse for the actual ladies on here because perhaps they cut down the number of random connections they make but for me I'm always skeptical of unverified because I'm assuming its a guy.

    You can add to this the number of single men who want any woman to be their mistress, to serve the lady without ever finding out who they are what they like, and why they are here.

    To be fair it ruins it for the rest of us guys. Sorry ladies if you don't like this one but I don't want to sleep with all of you :), but most of the time I'll chat with anyone and it is refreshing to have a chat with someone that isn't "How long have you been locked?", "What Device?" etc.

    Whatever happened to the days when people complained that we filled the chat room discussing the best way to cook a roast dinner :)

    P.S When you post is immediately abrasive, insulting and rude, and ends with "go fucking cry about it in another thread" I don't think you are helping the case either. There is a block button for a reason, to get rid of the trolls, but as always, feel free to block me too.
     
  4. Abstraction
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    Abstraction Force of nature
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    Absolutely. I get quite a few chats starting with 'Hello, do you want to lock me up?' No, I don't. I don't know you, I don't think I want to know you, and even if I did I wouldn't anymore because I don't like things shoved in my face before I have a chance to make my mind up. That's not being submissive - that's being grossly needy and selfish.

    From where I'm sitting, there appear to be more men wanting to be in chastity than women wanting to dominate them in public, as it were. In other words, it's more likely that a potential sub will come to a forum looking for a Domme than a Domme would show up looking for someone - anyone - to dominate.
     
  5. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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    Apologies to all ladies about suggesting they verify with Lucy. I was trying to be helpful. I was not aware that they had already been asked. I won't suggest it again.
     
  6. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Thank you for the comment. Also, long term member here. Had a poor experience yesterday after spending 8 months trying to get my person to come here and verify. Obviously wasn't talking to you, but there are a couple of dudes, and you know who I mean, who thrive on being prickly about everything.

    I do get your point, but as a CD am quite adept at spotting it. Still, it's a thing. I get it.
     
  7. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Thank you for the comment and for learning. Lucy is quite well organized and has likely thought of every angle you have prior to being the admin of the site. Still, don't be hurt by it. Learn. Take care. I hadn't noticed you doing it, so I think you are good.
     
  8. Pretty Monnica
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    Thank you so much for commenting. I came here after being a sex worker on fet life, so I understand how dense men can be. Your comments hopefully resonate with the very same leery strange dudes you are speaking to.

    I get it. I'm submissive, but don't just walk around submitting to rando women at the mall. It's desperate and a real turn off. Take note, and assess your behaviour, creepies. The ladies hate that stuff.

    Take care.
     
  9. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Other: Why would they?
     
  10. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Are you saying you'd rather females not join? I'm not going to insult you, but your comment doesn't make sense.

    Some of us, not all, want our partners to come here and learn from the same animals as we are.
     
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  11. Goddess Violet
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    To my lovely Pretty Monnica,

    First of all, thank you M for having my back and standing with me when being mocked and basically blatantly insulted in the other thread (no need to specifically mention it, I'm sure). You're off to work at your cruddy job, doing two things you hate; presenting with a mask as your born male self, and faking being an Alpha male for the world outside our home. I appreciate that you took the time to write any of this at all (staying up way too late, by the way *tsk**tsk*), and I wanted to acknowledge you publicly for it. Thank you, my love.

    With that said, I would like to add my own two cents from my perspective... (And please forgive me everyone, I do have a tendency to be quite verbose and loquacious, it's part of my nature.)

    Of course I can't speak for all Females and Dommes, I know, but I do know from my own intimate personal experiences, one can't very well be a Domme if we let Alpha males push us around. Or any males, for that matter.

    Sadly, a lot of us are a result of just that. Usually what happens is this; once we've finally had enough, after taking abuse and/or mistreatment for so long, our hearts and souls have will have had enough and we will self-protect. We go into survival mode on our own. Then We come out of our proverbial shell and flex our Dominance, saying "No more. I will never be treated poorly, by anyone, especially by a man, ever again."

    Hence, an organic Domme is born, much like a Star. (Intentional reference )

    Also, Dommes don't have pissing contests with other Dommes, they way Alpha males seem to need to. We appreciate others like Us and show respect accordingly.

    Most Females, in general, are much better at giving what They get. A lot of males have yet to learn this (as do some Females, again, I can't speak for all).

    What I have found most confusing about this site, in particular, is that most of the genetically born males are here presenting as betas and want to willingly submit to a Female (any Female, apparently) and seem to go after that in, what is historically viewed as, very male-dominant ways with inappropriate "men"tality; being the initiator, the aggressor and blatantly asking for it.

    Men, and I do say that tongue in cheek, that's not how this is going to work, in any sort of successful, FLR, or any other intimate relationship. If you want that, go to Craig's List, Fet Life, Fetish Professional Dominatrix sites, etc. and ask for it there. Beg for it, if that's your fancy. Don't come to sites like this, where Women and Dommes, such as Myself, are saying, posting, and putting it RIGHT IN OUR PROFILE (if you take the time to read them which you should before engaging Us), that we are NOT looking for anything outside of the loving, committed relationship that we are already in [sic]. (!)

    Please, stop doing this, it's wrongthought, and you're going about it in such a way that not only is it a complete turn off, but it's disrespectful from your position as a sub. Unless I'm wrong and this is a dating site for that, which in that case, someone can correct me, clarify and quantify that, and I will politely apologize and excuse myself and my commentary, taking my sissy (on a leash attached to her collar) with me.

    To the posed questions at the beginning of this thread; I answered Other. Because really, it's a little bit of all the options posted. It puts a really negative taste in my mouth for sites like this, and doesn't make me want to share (in a hopefully positive and helpful manner) any of my thoughts. I'll simply keep them to myself and/or only share them with my person, my sissy, the exquisitely beautiful and adorning, Pretty Monnica. My property. My submissive.

    I hope this helps.

    Please forgive the length if you've made it this far, that's why I offered the warning.

    Sincerely,
    Goddess Violet
     
  12. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    well theres a lot of Ladys on here but i have seen that after a bit they dont come on here no more. i spose They get fed up after a bit.
     
  13. MissNikki
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    HI,
    I know I am new on this Forum, but just wanted to give my input.
    For me it is learning about this new Kink and how Me and my Husband can spice up our Sex Life. The Chastity is more his thing, but I do enjoy the aftermath from it.
    Currently I withhold his release, without a Cage for a couple weeks at a time. Now looking to increase the Game with the Cage to the next Level, but that seems to have many problems with it. More in a diffrent Thread.
    So it wasen't about not wanting to sign up, just didn't have the need to at the time.

    MissNikki
     
  14. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Hey you. Thank you for the comment. I know that you are still learning English a bit, but appreciate that you replied. Fed up is a good way of putting it.
     
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  15. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    I understand. I'm sure he is overjoyed that you took the initiative and joined. I know it was a very big deal for me when my person did. Take care.
     
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  16. JellyBaby
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    Obviously I am responding as a male so the validity of the response is somewhat questionable!
    I do however think that any internet forum suffers from a common set of issues:
    1. The Bravado of Anonimity - ooh look at you go, keyboard warrior. You think someone is wrong, point it out! Show them the error of their ways. That'll learn 'em. What a hero you are!
    2. OK Boomers - they've seen it here when used to be all green grass and wheat fields. Slowly but surely their landscape has changed but they've been able to speak with authority of the Good Ol' Days. You whippersnappers will never understand how beautiful it used to be here, man. Your opinion doesn't matter.
    3. Border Patrol - no, I'm not the weird foreigner here - you are. I don't care what customs or traditions you have in your crazy part of the world - iwhere I come from we do it like this. Any other way is wrong and unacceptable to me, and everyone else regardless of which crazy part of the world they're from too.
    Then, throw in the additional spice of a sexually oriented site and you have the additional factors you've already touched on. Many years ago I had accounts on various contact sites and in the spirit of knowing your enemy (i.e. other men on the sites) I created a very very basic fake female profile where the last line of the description actually said something along the lines of 'this is a profile created by a male to see who actually reads profile text'. It was an eye opener. The vast majority of men, frankly were a pathetic embarrassment to the species, again due to the factors you've already mentioned - fawning, begging, sending unsolicited messages, pictures, an inability to read anything on the profile, etc. It wasn't difficult to stand out positively from the crowd and I ended up meeting several people in real life including my now wife, gawd bless her.

    I do find it rather disappointing that on a site like this that should provide safe harbour for people sharing an interest in a particular lifestyle choice through a culture of support and nurture (which I do think it actually does very well) that there are still occasions where people are capable of behaving like an arsehole to other members. It's not just off-putting to females, but all users.

    That said I always think the best policy is to not rise to the bait and to walk away with your head held high (not easy I know). However, if anyone online has the ability to control an urge it should be us lot!!! After all, any shoot from the hip responses will likely remain public and others are quite capable of making their own opinions of who was in the wrong etc.
     
  17. spider203
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    With everything that was written on this thread should now members her be allowed to send a DM just after they setup an account. what do people think, should the new account be set up for a period of time before the account holder can send a DM to another member this problem is not the first time that this topic came up on CM.
     
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  18. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Wow. Really great post, and thank you. I agree and unfortunately yesterday, I got too firmly entrenched and took the bait. I even remasculinized into my real world persona in my hissy (or in my case, sissy) fit.

    I've always prided this version of me being kind above all else, and do plan to stick to that program.

    The nature of man chasing down sexuality can be quite dense, but in being aware, I cant change everyone, but can sure change me.

    Good luck to you and your wife on the journey.
     
  19. true42
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    My wife would hate this site.

    She would hate seeing random pictures of loose dicks and locked-up-dicks and other-peoples'-cages. Yeah, I've never even sent her a dick pic ... because she'd hate it if I did.

    She would hate getting queries and attention from men. She finds that sort of thing extremely creepy.

    She's not the slightest bit into kink (even if she enjoys having steel bars wrapped around my^H^Hher cock, and even if she enjoys knowing that I will follow her every whim). She is very understanding of (and sincerely loving towards) trans and bi and gay and cross-dressing and lots of other things, but she really doesn't want to read about any of that.

    So this site works fine for me, because I've really got no one to talk to about this stuff, other than my wife, and she doesn't want to talk about it all of the time, and of course I chat with God, but he/she's probably tired of hearing about it too, and I'm not so good at hearing his/her responses.

    So this is a handy outlet. I learn a bit. I share a bit.

    And I try not to be that creepy guy. (Sorry, no pics.)

    Also, God loves you. At least I think that is what he/she said.
     
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  20. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    No, I mean, why would they as in what's in it for them?
     
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  21. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    I guess I dont know. There are several points of contact available immediately, and plain and simply put, it's probably the biggest turn off for the ladies that come here. But, again, there are some here to act condescending and mean spirited, always male, and they too play a part.

    I only asked all of this stuff because, the male members conduct us keeping reasonably interested women away, imo.
     
  22. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Yeah, I understand, and thank you for commenting on it. It took me roughly 8 months of cajoling and nicely asking my Goddess to get her to join. She too hates that type of stuff about any adult site, not just this one, but is a curious and optimistic sort.

    I think a lot of women feel the same exact way about it, which is sad, if you really think about it.
     
  23. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Ahhh.. I get you. I think this is a very informative site if utilized well. Knowledge is certainly a benefit, but given some of the proclivities you raise a very good question.
     
  24. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    It's not just that.

    Xena is probably typical of a lot of the not-on-CM female partners. She is naturally dominant and sadistic, and has therefore cheerfully pushed the level of our FLR and my chastity, but for her the situation is very simple indeed: she's in charge, expressed through the medium of kink.

    She's therefore not interested in doing any "labour" around the kink, nor in improving her dominatrix skills, nor in becoming part of a community. There's literally nothing for her here.

    There are dominant women who make a hobby out of their sexuality, but most of them seem to be much broader in their interests - chastity is just part of the the toolset - so you'll tend to find them over on Fetlife.

    Basically, if we malesubs are doing our part right, there's not much need for our partners to connect with the online kink world, so hence they aren't here.
     
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  25. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Very valid point. My Goddess and I have been together for 4 years, and have been kinky for the majority of it. Shes said this of herself as well.

    Thank you for the clarification. I just wasnt sure what you meant at first. Take care.
     
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