Greetings All! 61yo, married for 21 years, known my wife for 40+ years, live in the SF Bay Area, South East Bay. Have read many, many of the posts here and am grateful for all who share their story. Mine is similar to most, yet I still have apprehension. My wife is not an adventurous type of woman. I’ve been a kink lover for the whole of my life. She mostly entertains my desires out of love, but I can tell she’s not really into it. For the past 11 years, we’ve not had PIV relations as it’s always been painful for her. I’m not the largest, but each body is built differently, so it’s been manual stimulation for me, she’s a once a year type of girl. The fear I have is once she gets the keys, it’ll be nothing for me - ignored. But the lack of kink has been difficult. We’ve talked about Chastity, she’s OK with it and has given her blessing to order one. I’ve ordered and have received a custom Evotion Orion with Frenum piercing. I’ve not brought it into play yet, as my apprehension is rather high. Mostly, I’ve brought the topic up to gain a bit more comfort from her position. Soon, I’ll take the plunge but am holding out for more input possibly from this forum. Sorry to be so verbose, thank you to all who’ve created such a safe place for conversation.
Has your wife seen her GP to ascertain why penetration is so painful for her and have to tried using lots of lube when you do have PIV?
Yes she has. No diagnosis of any physical issue. I suspect she simply doesn't like it. It's been a struggle balancing her needs with mine.
Welcome to our community. I do hope you find it helpful and enjoyable. I understand your apprehension. Could you possible try some sort of timed lockup first? Something so she can see benefits, and you can feel the control, but yet not be irreversible. If you have a release schedule in mind, talk to her about it, and how being caged benefits her with in this schedule. As she becomes accustomed to it, having her hold keys may work better. Good luck and enjoy.
MissyB - Thank you for the input. The basic problem is when I attempt to bring the topic up, she's "Didn't we already talk about this". It's that response that gives me pause. So now, with the hopes of not beating a dead horse... I've told her unless she brings up the topic, I won't. Fast forward to now, it's not come up for quite sometime. Now its a catch 22: bring it up too often it'll sour, leave it up to her and it'll sour. - ARGH!!! Guess your advice might be worth testing, I'll bring up the topic even though I said I wouldn't. Place the device on the table and discuss terms. Leaps of faith can be scary! I'll alert all to the outcome.
welcome here, at least you trade the PIV pleasure to the cage and FLR pleasure witch is on my opinion far more greater. Good luck and feel free to ask anything, the comunity is here to help and there is no stupid questions.
So true Kylara, that's the hope of getting into Chastity. As of now, I'm still in the closet about having it. The topic has come up, but I'm postponing the actual 'conversation' until our relationship is on better footing. Since my level of kink is higher than hers, I feel chastity will be beneficial for us both. I'll get weeks of foreplay and she'll hopefully begin to embrace her desires. However, I'm afraid any pushing of my agenda of chastity or kink will boomerang back and cause damage. For the most part, most of the stories of relationships are chastity focused, noting how the introduction of such has evolved into a greater level of intimacy and enjoyment. I'm truly hopeful that this will occur with our relationship. I can't say this enough, I'm so grateful for finding this site and being introduced to so many like minded people who are so willing and free with input and guidance. Thank you SubHub, I couldn't agree more. In practice, every-time I've posted a question, replies have been thoughtful and helpful.
Does she enjoy intimate contact that isn’t PIV? If not I think you are going to be locked and forgot.
In the years of our relationship, she's always been somewhat a leave it type of woman. Arousal or interest in sex, intimacy or discussion of the topic has been seldom. Because of that, my fear of being ignored is high. If that occurs, I suspect it won't be fun for me and in time it could really backfire. My hope is after reading other folks journey into chastity and how it evolves, she might become more interested and willing to participate. Thank you for your input, rest assured, it is high on my list when the conversation turn to chastity, expectations and fears. This is a fluid situation. Some day's it seems a GO, while other days it seems something to simply forget and move on to another issue. I've been keeping a blog on the forum "Journals and Blogs" under the title "A plan? or Folly!"