I am a 52 yo male. I have a crosdressing fettish. I have had this fettish all my life. I told my wife years ago about it. She had no problem with it. However lately she has lost attraction to me. I often get sexually frustrated due to lack of sex. Should I do her the favor of locking up or, should I get castrated? My sex drive has alway been way more than hers. I dont know which way would be better. I am so tired from chasing her. We will not have sex for months on end. There is a lot more to it than that. It is just the crosdressing is the one part that bothers her most. I can't make her un know it. I am at a loss of what I should do for her comfort as well as mine.
Not sure how castration comes into this. You could pleasure yourself, bring in other partners for you and her, but you're right, she can't forget that you dress and you can't avoid it. Is it worth being together, if so, you need to talk more openly with her and solve the issues that you can solve. If that doesn't solve her loss of attraction for you, it may be that you need to think about separation. Not a lot of easy choices.
No we love eachother with everything we are. No matter what happens we are bound for life. I would never cheat on her. She would never cheat on me. I just want my sexual frustration to end
Talk to her. Find out what she thinks, what she wants. Common ground and compromise may be a better option than castration
You need to find out why she isn’t attracted to you anymore so that you aren’t guessing. Have you let yourself go? Does she have health issues that are killing her libido? If you have let yourself go and need to get in better shape, you can ask her to help you using a cage and orgasm control. Don’t just focus on hitting a number every week but develop an eating and exercise plan that you can both track. Until you get into better shape to make her attracted to you, maybe she can let you cum on her feet every Sunday if you followed 100% of your plan and also lost 2 pounds or a kilo.
communication!!! Take a step back from your interests and approach her with "what would make you more appealing to her", with a kind and gentle approach. Castration sounds not only extreme, but silly. Ask her if sex(ual contact) is off the table and if she would be willing to share her feelings on the matter. You are on a chastity-specific site. that said, I would ask her if she isn't into the sex any more if she would at least play along with your sex. Introduce her to chastity and tell her that you don't want to randomly or at-will tend to your own self-pleasure, but that you would still be interested in having sexual pleasure. If you need to do it on your own, and she's willing to 'play along', she could be a reasonable key holder. To randomly let you borrow the key to tend to your thing, then give the key back, thank her for the orgasm and wait it out till she offers it up again... Just a thought.... Good luck
We have not had piv at all this year. Oral is enjoyed by both of us. I like to pleasure her orally. She loves my oral. However that too is falling to the way side as well. I have had maybe sexual cont of some sort maybe 4 times this year. We have spoke in depth. That is how I know she does not desire being sexually charged with me .
Chastity will help you with this frustration. Learn how to control yourself using chastity. Lock up, if she will hold the key, give her control. If she won't, lock up and hold your own key. Control yourself and let her know you are only devoted to her. She will respond if you give it time and devotion.
Is she menopausal? It would be pretty common for a drop off in libido when a woman goes through that stage in her life. For some it comes back, for others not so much. You could go back to basics, court her like you did in younger years, small gestures can be well received if constant and consistent.
Yes she is menopausal. However, her libido was already very low. She has been menopausal for 4 years now..
Hello Erin, sorry to hear that the current situation is making you unhappy. From your posting I was unable to understand if you live in a FLR and that this fact makes you happy. I don't think that someone should feel unhappy or not fulfilled and it seems to me that this is the case, to me things looks very easy. She has no interest in sex, you have and it seems clear that you love each other. Therefore the solution to me looks like You should be allowed to get your sexual desire fulfilled somewhere else. As others say communicate well and setup rules which work for her and you. If she doesn't agree that you should be able to fulfill your needs you must make a decision: 1) Separate 2) Accept the situation I have been in the same place and finally decided to separate (as a couple) but we are still beeing connected as friends. There was a time when you had sex with her and this has changed as such it is very clear that you need to talk and that the outcome should be fulfilling for both of you or lead to separation (as a couple). Piet
Sounds like there some level of relationship trauma. Chastity and extreme medical procedures will not correct the disconnect and is more likely to compound the problem. I would suggest temporarily putting aside your XDing , and have some heart to heart conversations . . . possibly with the help of a kink friendly counselor.
I have offered to never revisit cross dressing. However, she supports and don't want me to stop. She is just not attracted to me physically like She used to be. We love eachother with everything that we are.
Many women are only sexually attracted to dominant men and it’s hard to get that back once it’s firmly in her mind that you are submissive. If she is content with giving up sex at this point in her life but enjoys your companionship, maybe libido reduction is a viable solution. I don’t know if chastity is really part of the solution because I suspect that that will make her see you as an even less appealing sex partner and it will leave you forever frustrated. Living in a “locked and forgot” situation for life would be hell. I’d be thinking about castration too if that was my only option.
I married 33 years - my wife loves me but overtime menopause health issues weight gain stress - our contact has faded hard - PIV is not enjoyable for either of us I help her get off with toys but 3-4 times a year . This year only once - she had brief interest in my chastity very early about 15 years ago - I self lock but about 3 years ago she said if I need outside help it would be ok - as long as I love her - So have a online kh and sealed container with the other We still hug and kiss but at times it feels like roommates and at times the attractive feeling has faded deep down we are committed to each other just have to roll with it
Thats exactly the way it 8s going with us. I am almost 53 my wife is 45. We have been together 22 years . The flame is burning very slowly . We are worlds apart when it comes to sex drive. The rest of our relationship is rock solid.