24/7 chastity advice needed

A real man doesn't let the attitudes of others determine his actions unless he makes the choice to gift that power to his lover.

I don't see the issue, to be honest.

 

24/7 to me seems to hardcore! And sometimes fantasies are unrealistic in real life! Just have fun with it! it certainly helps if you have a key holder! And in my opinion it makes you more of a man!

 

masculinity is a personal opinion. What control i give my wife over me has zero bearing on the man i am. in fact it makes me more manly, confident and loving. I have had other wives compliment my wife on how perfect we are for each-other,

at the end of the day if you are happy and your wife is happy. who gives a damn what anyone else would think. and they wont even know, so there is no point stressing over such things. you dont regret the decision do you?
i did have those thoughts early on as well, but they fade fast as the good replaces any doubt you may have.

enjoy the ride. its a blast and personally i wouldnt have it any other way, even if i was given a choice .

 

Sometimes I've had similar feelings, and it can be a bit embarrassing (but privately). There really isn't a magic bullet other than to just work past that moment. For all you know, you're not the only one there who's locked.

I find that when I'm locked and out in public, I forget all about the cage. I've walked away many times from really cute young cashiers and only then remembered that I'm secured in a device.

 

you have girl(wife)...its makes u man right?thats the point

 

I've been in 24/7 chastity for the last 8 months. I also present as pretty masculine. My advice: You are who you are. The same you that does man stuff is the you that wants to be locked.

 

Reread what you wrote. You asked for this and you love that she's taken control, you're happy with that Your emotional issue is not "masculinity," I'm as alpha as can be in the professional world. If you're honest with yourself your issue is that you haven't admitted to yourself that you're submissive to your wife and that it's part of who you are. You're doubting yourself in light of your friends, who are not submissive.

You can only be who you are, and you have to admit to yourself in public what you admit in private -- that you need your cock locked up in order to be the best truest husband you can be. Which relationship is most important, your marriage or your fishing buddies? Who's marriage is doing better, is more intimate and fulfilling, yours or theirs?

It's in your pants, the guys don't have to know. But if they did would you defend your choice, defend your right to choose who you want to be? That's masculinity, standing up four yourself and your wife, not wilting in the face of some outside socialized stereotyped version of "manhood."

 

You have allowed the fantasies and perceptions of others to color your thinking about chastity devices. Wearing a device is not an *inherently* unmasculine act; it's the actions and mindset surrounding the device that make it associated with sissy, cuckold, or male slavery.

A lot of guys have responded similarly, but unfortunately, none of us are really answering the question "How do you get past this?"

I'm not sure how old you are, but I can tell you that age will have an impact on that kind of personal confidence. I've already decided that, if accidentally discovered to be wearing a cage, I'll just laugh it off and tell people "Hey, after 30 something years together, we started looking for things to keep the spark going." See, at 60, I can pull that off, especially since my wife and I have a pretty decent relationship.

If you're 35, though, you'll need to be a little more creative. People don't need to know the details; however, I can tell you that if you *act* embarrassed, they will probably tease you about it. If you try to go all spiritual (It makes me a better person for her, etc.") they'll think you're a nut. You could try the old standby "I lost a bet," or you could just wink, grin, and say "We're just trying it out to see what happens."

 

I agree with @Tom Allen. And sorry for all the lines in my message #8.

 

I work in the construction field and when I walk on one of my job sites I am the top dog. I'm a leader of a great crew of salt of the earth real men. Sometimes after work we sit around and have a few beers and talk guy talk. The fact that my dick is in a cage and I'm wearing panties and occasionally a butt plug during all this doesn't affect the dynamic at all. Frankly it can give your GF something great to tease you about later.

 

A-MEN!

 

You learn that its great. Its fun. Its the two of you and don't care about anything but that, so she comes first! You make her happy, you are happy!

You have no need to validate your manhood. However, understanding that making your lady happy is the most important thing, validates your manhood.

If you are less of a man because you want to be locked in a chastity device, what does that say about all of us?

 

A lot of good stuff said here.

When we first started out and I was out with friends and or family, it felt kind of wierd. As time went by, that feeling passed. Now it's just normal. Sometimes I think, if they only knew.

I would say I am on the younger side of the spectrum on this site. Due to that I sometimes have worries of one of my buddies finding out from a joking around sack tap or something. If something like that happens I don't really want to let the cat out of the bag, so who knows.

Also, just want to say as others have stated, doing this to better yourself and make your significant others live better has no negative effect on your masculinity. If anything it makes you more of a man. I am alpha at work, I wrench on and build off road rigs, rock crawl with my rig, weld, fabrication, shoot guns, concluded carry every day. This is all done while caged, and maybe in a pair of my key holders panties, if she so chooses!

 

For me, I have never felt manly or less manly. Don't get me wrong, I have masculinity thrust upon me by my hormones. But... Yeah. Okay, so, I guess what I would suggest is defining yourself as opposed to defining masculinity.

There's so many men on the planet and so much pressure to confirm to a particular type of masculinity. I came to the realisation as a teen that it's all bull.

I remember distinctly asking if I wore fashionable clothes would they be fashionable on me. My friends said no. Bullies picked on me regardless of what I did or how I behaved. I learned then that what I am shouldn't, couldn't, depend on what others thought.

My way came through emotional trauma and mental pain, enacted alone without support. My way is not recommended. However, the end result? I'd say it's positive. Hope this potted history helps, PM if I can elucidate more but, otherwise, don't be any kind of man but yourself - define masculinity by YOUR baseline and not arbitrary ones. Be you. You are as much of a man as you define yourself to be!

 

Not fantasy at all. I've gone 24/7 in one since 2010

 

Personal I feel more manly wearing the cage than without. Reason for this is the fact every little sparkle of hornyness can be felt wearing the cage. It makes me more aware ...

 

At first it kinda hard to get use to 24 / 7 . As far has being a masculine guy. Continue . Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you asked for this and the fact is you are OWNED NOW and they are not . So you are one up on your friends . They wish they had the kind of sex we give to our KHS and receive from them . So smile and enjoy the journey.

 

Perhaps a mindset that might help is that society can only be made better when this particular beast is caged. Too manly to be set loose on the village and must be caged, controlled and set loose only under very specific circumstances.

 

I'm in the same boat as you. I don't want to sexualize my interactions with my regular, non kinky friends or my family. One key will be time. With enough time, being locked becomes less sexual and distracting. The other is finding the right cage for daily, or outside the house use. For me, the key was to find a device that is completely stealthy, and that I can forget is there. I had the same issues with bulky, plastic or metal cages (CB2K, CB3000/6000s) as they always showed when I sat, felt as bulky as having a piece of tupperware stuffed in my pants. People noticed it (despite what people here have said about nobody noticing or caring) and I even had a friend sit on my lap unexpectedly, and thought I had a boner. This wouldn't happen with my current cage. There's snugness, but nothing intrusive. I can sit, without anything poking out forward, or pinching me unexpectedly. No constantly adjusting it in my pants. If you can forget it's there, you can have it become "normal" more easily, and in turn, feel more normal when out doing stuff with the guys.

I've ended up with a small, metal cage that gives me less of a crotch bulge than when I'm unlocked. I manage the small cage by pushing my dick up inside, and the small cup/cage just holds it up there. The only times I have an issue is going to the bathroom. Have to use a stall, so no urinals, but that's normal for chastity. Other than that, I often forget it's on. In fact, I find that going unlocked, on the rare occasions that I do, is more uncomfortable than being locked, because I'm more aware of the sensations in my pants. A side effect of being locked 98% of the time in a restrictive device has been increased sensitivity. Now that it's normal and routine, I am more comfortable being locked. We only make exceptions for sports or the motorcycle, where it might interfere with range of motion or chafe badly.

 

I wear a metal Jailbird 24/7 and can do virtually anything with it on except for metal detectors, of course. For getting used to wearing one more often - just wear it for longer periods of time. You'll mostly stop noticing it's on. Mostly. As for worrying about what others think about that they're unaware of... I guess I treat it like other things people might disagree or argue over that I don't care to indulge. I just don't bring it up as a topic of discussion.

 

If you think about it, wearing a cage won't prevent you from being who you are and won't make you less of a real man. You can still go fishing and hunting, you can still watch sports with your mates and so on. You'll just have your little secret.
Of course, there are practicalities (as for me, it was 'not being able to go to the swimming pool with my cage on) but you always find a way, when you're really committed to the lifestyle.

 

Yeah, but you could go with both. One for in the house and one for out of the house, as the cage type is easier to pee in. I had problems with the cap design (and the other styles) in that the sensitive glans skin would get pushing through the holes, rubbing on clothes, and hurting enough to distract and require attention. In the end, I put a rubber cup inside the metal cap, and tucked the shaft skin around the glans, and put that in the cup. Kind of like being uncircumcised, and if you are, that would help. That fixed the comfort issue, but makes peeing in the cap style impossible, but to be honest, it was sketchy either way. I didn't get along well with the urethral tube, but some here have had luck with them. I tried different lengths, but never got comfy, and I seem to pee too forcefully for the diameter of the hose, which made peeing painful.

I have a second cage that's got an oval ring, very short tube and bars on the end. It's too bulky for me under jeans, but may work in the summer under loose shorts. I have had a few instances of moving around at a table and having the bulkier cages go "CLUNK"...which raised some eyebrows. Again, I have zero fetish for being outed, so that's another reason I love the really short cages.

I'm fairly big (was 7.5" before going full time locked) so I was finding that there was so much shaft skin bunched up behind the cap, that it was getting pinched badly when moving around in tighter jeans. That's a big reason I went with the tucked method of wearing the cap cage. With the glans pushed in, and the shaft skin in the cap, there's no pinching or extra skin to get caught. The big downside is that I have to take the cap off to pee. For some 24/7 folks, that's a no go, but for me, I have no urge to cheat, and enjoy the ritual of re-locking.

That's what worked for me/us anyhow. The Chinese cages are inexpensive, but look for one with decent looking welds in the picture. There are knock offs of knock off of knock offs out there. I'd get a couple and experiment, or mix and match. I'm planning to get a short, barred cage and see if it's better for summer. Ideally I'll keep the base ring and just swap cages. It's also handy to have different diameter base rings, and experiment with those too. I wear the largest base ring, but find the cap/cage is so close to it, that I haven't had issues with popping a nut through the ring. That was a big problem with my plastic CB devices, especially in colder weather.