How do I deal with complete chastity?

If I'm understanding you correctly, you would like a little more tease and denial. I know this sounds silly but have you tried talking to her about it? This shouldn't be completely a one-way street.

 

Sounds like my wife but more hands on!

Doing sexy things for her will start to feel like teasing and denial and you will leak a little.

I suspect the real problem is that you haven't experienced a long period of denial.

 

How does one prevent an erection with the device off? It seems to be an involuntary reaction.

Do you feel like she is setting you up for failure?

 

You say no teasing, but then you mention she's constantly grabbing it. That sounds like a form of teasing to me.

As for how you deal with it, you talk to her. You tell her that you're struggling with the current arrangement. You want her to be happy, but you have emotional needs that maybe aren't being adequately met at the moment.

 

Cage being removed every 3-5 days? Your getting teased plenty lol.

I do not know her or her intentions, but can say from my experience that chastity with short lockup’s turn into a week, then two, then three etc. Dealing with it is part of the fun and part of what makes being in chastity so deliciously frustrating.

 

Wait til she finds a cage that doesn’t need to be removed for cleaning!

After you have been in long enough, your mouth will become your sex organ. If you know without a doubt that the cage won’t come off, you quit thinking about it coming off and you just focus on using your mouth to please her. Maybe you will get lucky and she will use a dildo on you and enjoy some ass play.

 

I must admit I am having trouble seeing the downside of all this! The internet is awash with chastity fetishists and male subs adrift, desperate to find a lover or playmate.

 

The internet is awash with people indulging in fantasies. It is easy to say you want something and harder to deal with the day to day difficulties that go with it.

Incidentally, I don't consider this a "be careful what you wish for" instance because it is the dominant's responsibility to make sure that the sub's needs (not wants) are being met and this seems like a case of where that might not be happening.

 

This thread is relevant to my interests.

 

It is very hard to deal with. My wife also enjoys knowing I am completely chaste for long periods of time. However, she sometimes loses interest in the physical part of it and doesn’t even want to touch me down there.

 

Seems to me you're having some doubts and rightly so because this is an extreme form of chastity you are describing. Some of us on here see chastity as a fun addition to our sexuality, something to be engaged in regularly. Others of us see chastity as a 24/7 commitment. You need to figure out where you want to be on that continuum and decide if this arrangement corresponds with that.

I suspect it doesn't, to be frank.

 

The OP asked "how do I cope" not "how do I renegotiate my relationship." Presumably his needs are being met or he wouldn't still be there.

However, if the dominant has a "here's who I am, take it or leave it" attitude, then there probably is an element of "careful what you wish for". She doesn't have to be responsible for anything beyond not causing lasting harm. Meanwhile, submission and masochism form a feedback loop making it difficult to step away.

 

Cb6000, yes I would definitely say it should be removed for cleaning by day 5. I would think for those models daily removal is probably more practical. Amazon carries some cheap steel cages that can be worn for a few weeks, I had a lot of luck with them. There are certain tweeks you can do to make these cheap devices more comfortable, and are open enough to wear long term. Good luck

 

My Lady is adamant that we get such a cage made. She reckons that the only thing that should dictate when or IF the cage comes off should be herself.

Even the need for haircuts wouldn't she says as she has every intention at some point seeing how long we can let my hair grow before she thinks its too long.

She mentioned in your OP that you said your Lady is into long term chastity for you, no allowed erections and obviously full denial. We are already doing the last two and despite me thinking we already were doing the first she thinks she would like to try that sometime. What that might mean is anyone's guess its been nearly 18 months now.

Don't misundertand I am not complaining, no drop, permanently having some degree of being horny almost all the time, whats not to like. Somehow she has got me so I miss having full erections more than I do orgasms.

 

Every relationship should start with a few months in chastity. Men would only persue ladies they really cared about.

 

There is a tendency here on this site and in the minds of people that when the men is unsatisfied, it is because they have unreasonable expectations or are doing something wrong. That's true in some cases of course, but I see a lot of instances of the woman neglecting their partner and in those cases, the guy needs to be told that he's not to blame.

Your presumption is faulty. People stay in bad relationships all the time.

 

It's certainly a good thing that there are different voices offering different advice! I certainly didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't post that perspective.

In this case, the OP doesn't seem neglected, just being swept down a challenging but satisfying path. It won't kill him to do this for a few months and see what happens.

 

As always it is each to her or his own or in the case of a couple ...their own

There are a number of published on paper and online writers of books about male chastity. Many advocate that one it has been established that a device can be worn without any detrimental effects for more that about 10 days to a fortnight that a period of denial of about 3 months be instigated, to test the resolve of both partners and thatthey mutually wish to havwe male chastity as part of their lifestyle.

Perhaps the OP's Lady has read one or more similar books or articles.

With a new partner I would not be at all surprised if our first period of my denial was at least 3 months and would expect that any the when and if of any release would be completely her choice.

It does depend of course very much on the dynamic of the relationship and not all enter ito things without considering that either they or their partners concept of the dynamic may evolve. Its back to the oldest sloution/recommendation..... Communication is Key.

 

You stumbled into gold. Leave it alone and let it play out.
She's in control, let her be. Your in for a fine ride, stop worrying.

 

Lovely thread @Locked.Up.Boy!
Enjoy the ride, try not to complain but communicate. Out of own experience, i can regret when i look back and didn't just surrender/followed Her wicked ideas because i was worried. Good luck + congrats, sounds you've found a lovely Miss. ❤️✌️

 

@filltee nailed it, @Locked.Up.Boy. The difference you're experiencing is that you previously thought chastity was about not cumming and not having orgasms. What she's teaching you is how central the erection itself is to you and how taking that very erection from you will make you more dependent on and submissive to her. It's so central to our experience as males, so completely normal to be erect on demand or nocturnally, that we confuse the loss of erection with the loss of orgasm, though they're two very different things. Being released for T&D weekly, as you used to be, reaffirms your maleness and sexuality even if you don't get to spurt. Not being allowed to become erect at all over a period of weeks or a month opens your mind to a more thorough reconsideration and questioning of your maleness and your role with her.

 

Yes, I agree, total denial would be hard to take without my daily tease sessions. Thankfully, my wife agrees.

 

My wife is not a big fan of grabbing my cock, but she does like for me to rub little willy on her pussy and ass.