So this is weird. I like being caged and if i don't have the Contender on, feel like a piece of jewelry is missing. Also, It gives me the power to stop the self flagellation, mastabutory urge. And all that pent up energy has no place to go except to my woman, who thinks it is really strange for a 56 year old to still have sexual needs. I want her to control me but she will not. Small steps like her pushing the lock on and taking note of the ID# will help in the future... On a seperate note, why do women care about men beating off to a computer image? Is it the 3 hi-def screens? Is it the bondage? Who cares since it is a very private session!
Women care about the men they love beating off to a computer cage because a large majority of us are insecure. Myself included. It makes me feel upset/jealous and like I am not good enough/pretty enough/skinny enough etc because porn is usually watched while doing it, and those women are not your average women like most of us are. I admit, this is irrational, but it's an unfortunate instinct ingrained in A LOT of women.
I don't think that response is irrational in the slightest. For starters it is an honest feeling. Secondly, when watching porn to masturbate I don't know of one person who ever admitted that they are imagining their own wife or girlfriend when watching a super hot girl or guy getting laid in the fashion of their fantasy. I don't quite view it as cheating but it can certainly take the emotional respect to a very low place between a man and his woman. Masturbating alone does that and when we fill our heads with all of the unrealistic unobtainable situations we see in porn it can have a negative impact on how we feel about our women. Especially if they are a little outside whatever you think the ideal body shape is for a woman. I agree that it is emotionally difficult for a woman to be in that situation. That is one reason I have been happy that my wife is enjoying this chastity we have been doing. I was masturbating way too much and know for a fact that it affected our sex lives and how attentive I was being towards her. Heck I didn't marry her to ignore her!! I love her and am so much more happy now that she decides when I orgasm. Im also glad that I am not alone in this thought. But we are still in the minority of men Im afraid. I hope that made any sense at all coming form the mind of a man..
I feel the same way when I am unlocked. I feel more complete locked. My wife has no problem with me looking at porn. We used to watch it together in the old days when you had to by a video tape to do so. My wife just wants to be the only one to give me orgasms. If I orgasm without her, odds are that I will not perform well when she is in the mood. She also loves my moans of frustration and how the mere sight of an exposed shoulder can make my penis try to grow. Most of all she loves the intense orgasm I have by her due to not having an orgasm for a few weeks.
Me, i must be kind of a different guy, I don't watch hot young women, unless that is who happens to be in the video. I watch amateur vids, and usually concentrate on the sounds and expressions. Watching the wives look on their face while a huge cock is fucking her, hearing her...something I was never able to do before strapon was added. Some were attractive, most were average everyday looking women. It wasn't their physical shape I was interested in, but their carnal needs being met that got me going. Same with vids that were just wives masterbating, had to hear them and watch their expressions. I don't think I've watched a "porn" in forever.
I I totally get that, if I'm watching porn I much prefer real amateur stuff where they are doing all sorts of kinky stuff. I can't stand when it feels commercial. If it's not believable to me that it is real people feeling real emotions I'm not into it. Lately though my porn is this mansion and the occasional wenteasse my wife sent me from Millvana.com. Lol
I get most of my porn through Tumblr, but it involves thin girls, not so thin girls, larger girls, skinny guys, not so skinny guys, dom guys, sub guys, dom women, sub women, anal, vaginal, butts, dicks, vaginas, bondage, chastity, and then some. My wife falls in a few of those categories, so she's definitely not got anything to be threatened over. But, given her waning interest in anything sexual with me, porn's pretty much it for me. Given I'm locked most of the time by my remote KH, actually doing anything with that porn's out of the question.
Moderation is a primary facet of living a good life. Porn used to be Penthouse, Playboy and later Taboo. Then it moved to online and the real bizarre things that people do to fulfill a sexual fantasy. In my case, ladies getting short haircuts. Not bald, but bobs and bowl cuts, especially a-line or asymmetric bobs. Clippered backs. It became an obsession and my wife starting getting shorter and shorter haircuts with the nape shaved for me. Since she was doing this for me, it felt guilty to be looking at other women getting haircuts. I knew it was obsessive and compulsive but harmless. Then I found kink.com and a lady tied up getting her head shaved. OMG. Bondage and haircuts. What a freaking turn on and the web has a lot of this which i 'collected'. I collected hundreds of these videos. And then i realized this was affecting me and my wife. I asked her to go full dom to stop the behavior. She balked; I realized that caged would give control over me and my short hair fantasy. Now it is hard to beat off and i only have one short hair hottie - her. And she knows how much short haircuts turn me on AND she obliges me.
Ma'am, I think there's more to it than that. Many women, and I suspect you do as well, view it as a highly disrespectful act to you and to women in general. You get to decide if and how he gets an erection or ejaculation/orgasm and if enforcing that by getting him pierced and locked in a tight secure metal device is what it takes to give you that piece of mind in knowing that you've taken away from him the possibility of it ever happening, then that's your right and your prerogative. I congratulate and highly respect any woman that has finally come to that realization and isn't afraid to strictly enforce it.
Question? What if you not getting enough sex or as stated above got cut off just because wife doesn't feel like you should want sex. If she doesn't want to play is is wrong to take care of your own needs? I would say that she is being selfish and unreasonable.
Every other Sunday night, I am unlocked for a 10 minute supervised shower. Every minute over 10 she will add another day to my next release. I can't wait to end the shower and dry off so I can reinstall the device! I also feel naked without my device and she just gives me a little incentive to quickly put it back on.
I can honestly say that my porn consumption was exactly what you describe. I would look for women who were a match to the body type and looks of my Wife. For instance if they had tattoos that was no good as my Wife has none, and would never get one. My Wife isn't skinny but she also isn't fat, what She has are completely normal lines that show when she bends over, so any super fit slim woman was no good for me. And then as we got older younger women also did nothing for me. When we started down this chastity/FLR road I admitted this to my Wife and she was quite impressed and touched. She never had any issue with me masturbating but didn't really understand why I was doing it so much. It was only when she realised how much of an affect not masturbating had on me that she came to understand why I was masturbating. A few days ago this understanding was further strengthened when she witnessed me having a completely hands free unstimulated ruined orgasm while wearing my device. She had been teasing me and had got me really worked up. About twenty minutes later it happened, I just had time to say 'Elle, I'm...' when I suddenly had an intense rush, pulsed, and expelled a thick glob of goo. And she knew I had done nothing to stimulate this as I was lying next to her with both of my hands on my iPad! @jetertherat It made me groan when I heard you say that your wife doesn't understand why you still have sexual urges at 56. This is such a societally programmed thing. Why on earth should you not have sexual urges until the day you die!? A bit of a morbid thought, I realise, but come on, we are sexual beings. Our entire existence is based around procreation, it doesn't just get switched off at some arbitrary age. If anything the sex gets better with experience and when you have the time and privacy in which to indulge, once the kids have bogged off and aren't in the house getting freaked out because Mum and Dad dare to be sexual. I understand that some people are asexual, and others become asexual. What I don't understand is why they then think that their partners are also asexual, that is completely unfair. It seems to me that being a chastity Keyholder would be a perfect answer to that sort of wife, as long as she didn't make it a lock and forget arrangement.