Major blow out tonight

I fail to see the purpose in any of this. He caved because he loves you, but the mental stress he is suffering must be enormous. However it's your marriage, you and he can do whatever. I'd opt if it were me, but then again my wife would never consider being so extreme.

Jay.

 

Let me just say I think you handled the situation perfectly!
He is so lucky to have you… If only we could all be so lucky to have such a strong yet forgiving KH who knows exactly how to put us in our place!
thank you of sharing
PET

 

I think you handled him great too, if you'd caved in he would have had no respect for you...Be strong and reap the rewards.

 

Such a difficult situation. I agree with not letting him out immediately but I think a good sit down discussion with him is very much needed.

It may be a just a blip on his part or it may be the first signs of a growing resentment to the way things are going.

All I know is that you have the rest of your lives together to realise your chastity goals. Dont let the fantasy come between you before you get the chance to achieve them.

Hope things work themselves out.

 

beautiful AND a great keyholder.damn,he should be thankful he has you.

 

you've said before he wanted this as much as you did I believe. If thats the case I'm sure he will have times when he gets extremely frustrated with his situation. Its only normal. Change can be fun and other times it can just be frustrating. The desire to go back is there and maybe he just misses it. As harsh as it may have seemed he may have really wanted you to be strong for him in his weak moment(which you did). Sounds like reality is settling in which can kinda scary at times. He may need more comfort and assurance from you

 

The question is why did he cave in?

1. Because he wants it really.
2. Because he loves you and wants you to be happy.
3. Because he is in chastity to you and your gf and the only way to get it off is via the key. So he is too frightened but to obey.

If it is number 3. how do you feel about it?
How will he feel about never using his penis again for orgasms nor for penetration when the time comes?

 

To counter what some have written, your actions don't sound at all extreme. He spoke very much out of turn, and you were firm, so well done!

 

Hi went to where ever and then reality set in . Out on his own or back indoors playing with his wife and her girlfriend .

I think it's called a no brainer !!
. Xx Wendy

 

I think you did the right thing. He had tantrum. Not a change of mind.
When he stormed out he obviously had time to think about his actions and realized how stupid he had been to make that sort of a demand. He came back after all... knowing that he had been in the wrong and obviously aware that there will be repercussions for his behavior.
The fact that you both sat down and calmly discussed the next month shows that you both are moving forward.

 

Bravo.Well said.

 

I agree with Mistress Jules. His actions were disrespectful to you not only as a Domme, but as a female in general. A make has nor right to "demand" sex, whether a sub or not. As for me, I would never act this way, not only because of the way I was raised, but because I know the reprecusions from Mistress Dee.....

 

I could not agree more @Mistress Jules . Reading that he did that, did make me what to go on a bit of a feminist rant, but I thought I'd save them until I've been here a while longer.

 

Yes it is demeaning but perhaps he just meant to say he wanted to make love and feel intimate with his wife again, missing her touch for so long and it came out wrong in his agitated state.

Or maybe not.

 

Hello.
Well, I would say that you may have handled this correctly. The "old" me would frequently storm out and have tantrums when I did not get my way sexually---and I just don't mean having intercourse---I mean any way---not being allowed to eat her, not being allowed to try to give or receive penetration with a strap on, her not wanting to masturbate while I would massage or hold her---do you get the idea? Just not getting what I want. I would usually access the emergency key (which is now MUCH harder to access frozen in the center of a gallon jug) and take my device off in blind anger or DEMAND the key (she never said no) and unlock myself. Then we would go days, weeks and even months at sexual loggerheads and 99% of the time I would be the one to come crawling back and asking her if she missed having me locked up because something inside me missed it to which she would eagerly agree. But, over time she became less eager until the last time when she said to me that if I end my chastity that way again that I would be ending it for the last time and that I could just throw the device and everything away. We had a talk and I finally got that for our dynamic to work and for her to reap what she wanted from it that I had to swear my submission to her and REALLY let go and let her be in charge of this thing and do it her way, hence the "allaboutHer" moniker I chose here over 3 years ago (and only 2 oinasms ago in that span!). I am free to approach her calmly to discuss where we are at or if I am unhappy, but NEVER in a fit of anger or horny frustration. It is rather mind blowing how we can get really angry with each other (unrelated to sex) and one trip to the bathroom later getting slapped in the face with the reality/reminder of my device locked upon me suddenly refocuses me and makes me tend to let go of my anger, look at her side, apologize for my outburst and discuss the issue calmly. There is something in this we all (us guys) seem to crave which we cannot put our finger on, but like most GOOD relationships, it takes communication and ultimately an amazing woman behind the scenes that does not abuse her position as a Keyholder---ESPECIALLY if she is your Wife or significant other. If your husband feels abused, he should be able to approach you calmly and honestly discuss his feelings with you and YOU should be honestly willing to listen and respond. Maybe he needs a break? You have been at this long enough that he is imprinted (I speak from experience) and will quickly be humbly asking to be relocked...I cannot resist it anymore...when I am allowed to be unlocked for doctor appointments or my rough athletic endeavors I cannot relock myself fast enough! So crazy! Anyway, open some dialogue with him more often (it is good that you guys had one talk) when all is calm so you can see where you both are at. You don't want this to ruin your marriage or respect for each other. Well, best of luck...my apologies for the long comment, but I am just a touchy-feely, wordy kind of guy. My Wife/Mistress/Keyholder jokes that I am very chick-like with all of my wanting to talk, and make sex last for umpteen orgasms (hers!) while she has little desire to discuss sex and feelings and is happy to pop off one monster orgasm and roll over and sleep (and leave me dampening my pantyhose with desire and playing with my nipples and clenching on an anal plug...hmmmmm. )

allaboutHer

 

I have to preface this by saying I don't know anything about your lives, only what you have written here. So I might be off the mark with my remarks. It seems like your husband had a minor meltdown. Perhaps it was all a bit much for him. I applaud you for not punishing him further, he needed love and emotional support at that time. Some communication may be in order. From what you wrote, he endured 90 days of chastity for you and I'm sure you enjoyed it more than him. At the end of 90 days of increasing horniness, instead of relieving this horniness for a reward, you basically increased his horniness by having 2 women to entice him. In addition, when you listened to Jen, that might have been very upsetting. Speaking for myself, if my wife let another woman suddenly make decisions for me, I would not like it. Perhaps he feels he has 2 women to please and that adds more stress, I don't know. I'm pretty much speaking from my own feelings in the matter, your husband may feel quite differently.

 

If I had not been a bit busy I would have written the why did not not expect that reaction post .

In this and and let's get a bull in situation why is there supprise when it all goes wrong ? Either for a hour or a day or permanently.

For most guys lesbian sex is way up the top of things they like to see . So you have put the heat under the pressure cooker in terms of upping the sex drive add the chastity and bingo , perfect storm.

All very well writing about fantasy fun ideas but getting a third involved very rare to find it works out. All the stuff about bulls sounds like fun allways ends in tears. Just the same as swinging or open marriages .

Thus I am not at all surprised that he did what he did. He may well be thinking he is loosing the love of his life , being pushed out and wondering where it all might end. The denial of intimacy is a very powerful signal .
Xx Wendy

 

Bravo!

 

We all make mistakes in our approach to things. Love and time make us learn. He has a lot to gain by being a good boy, and it won't be long before he can channel that rise that comes up in him into thrilling you...GL!

 

Well said locked!

 

For me, anger is an emotion that signifies that something is wrong and needs to be dealt with outside of the context of the D/s dynamic.

I'm always fascinated by how differently we can experience this dynamic.

 

Seeing as you're both learning as you go, these situations are bound to happen. Well done for handling the situation like you did, many others would have caved in.

 

Dear Ma'am,

I must say that I believe you handled the situation wonderfully. If I had approached my wife the way your husband approached you, the consequences would have been much more extreme. Of course our situation is different from yours. My wife has no use for my penis at all and has been getting the "real thing" from other men for 16 years. But we are still intimate and have other ways to satisfy each other together. I do know, however, that she has many options besides me and from a sexual standpoint, she prefers those options over me by a giant margin. I do not have (or desire) other options. I don't want to jeopardize our "love time" because I know the result. I know the result because I have been disrespectful to her at times in the past. Consequences have taught me the value of respect. Good luck to you both and thank you for providing the opportunity to comment here.