The Noose Tightens

"I pinch myself"

In an exchange yesterday, my Lady observed how it has been almost 4 years since 'the change' where we made our great leap into FLR

 

"I pinch myself" (2nd attempt)

Yesterday I began a post and was unexpectedly summoned by my Lady. The orphaned sentence I wrote was interpreted by NoloMeTangere to mean I've gone 4 years with no orgasm, which it has not been. Not sure how long it _has_ been, but she has accidentally pushed me over the edge a few times plus there was a period of freedom (!) because I had to heal after a PA piercing. Plus, other ways life has intervened.

What she was pinching herself about was her/our decision to step into ongoing lockup and FLR about 4 years ago, and the impact for us. 'After years of your trying, you gave yourself to me and I accepted,' she said, 'It has been great for me, and I love how it has worked out for us.' She disclosed that she was/is ready to release me if there were compelling reasons to do so, saying that she's not a monster.

'Even so, I can see the impact this has on you, and know this is the right thing for us'. She has been thinking about it all as a result of the last few weeks transitioning into New Year's day, and felt she needed to emphasize that 'you're my perfect personal servant and will remain so for the rest of your days'. This gave me a tingle, again - she has made statements to this effect before, but... her property swelled up it its prison. I know she can sense how much I'd like to be released and in her right now, and I have no doubt that's part of what prompted this conversation. That means 'Nope' in a big way.

She patted my tie knot and noted again how much she likes me dressed to serve her. 'Between how hot you look these days and your desperation, it feels like I'm constantly turned on,' she said. She then went on to prove it by using me to scratch her itch. As has become the norm for us, her property remained firmly locked up with no prospect of freedom likely for quite some time. Life is good, and I love my strict Lady.

 

The Joy and Challenge of Service; Five Years On

My last post here was over a year ago. Since then, my Lady-centric life has been continued on in ways that we have both found fulfilling. My lusful Lady has kept me busy, honing her vision of a marriage where she leads and reaps the benefits from her investment in keeping me desperately horny yet denied. What she wants, she gets, and her methods of control/enjoyment of her butler and sex slave have become routine parts of our life together. Not boring or a rut, just comfortable like a favorite pair of jeans.

I love serving her and she loves being in her very privileged position. We have both become quite skilled in our respective roles, and she remains 'the epitome of female power'. She wields her authority effortlessly now, and any time I vary from my commitment to her or do not fulfill her directives, she corrects the shortcoming. What I would have found untimaginable 10 years ago has become my everyday existence now.

She has maintained her absolute intent that I only get to experience an erection or orgasm when she wishes. Here and there an emission or 'accident' has occurred; she has not made it explicit, but I think she wants to make sure her equiptment doesn't atrophy completely or develop problems. Her masterful tease/torture (occurring only when I am restrained) goes a long way toward accomplishing this.

Some of our moments are thrilling and would be post-worthy here, but the majority of the time life is about serving her sexual and other needs. I have become so good at doing this (if I may brag a bit) that she has sworn that this will be how it is until one of us passes on. We're both five years older, so that changes the picture in certain ways, but not that I hopelessly, helplessly her devoted subject.

I enjoy checking into the CM site occasionally to see what life is like for others, still finding it helpful. Realizing our own milestone of 5 years in this arrangement made me want to actually post an update. My Lady still is begrudging of time spent online, but she agreed that a post here and there would not be excessive. And so it goes...

 

Nolo, Nice to hear from you. To make a slight correction, I noticed that the gift you all gave us is worded 'the epitome of feminine power'. It's so spot on - 'feminine' calls to mind female role expectations, including some sexist baggage, but then it goes on to evoke the 'power' part. Just perfect for us. Even just writing this now gives me a little shiver as I think about how masterfully my Lady has assumed her authority. So nicely, lovingly, smoothly, steely... Dominant.

And now you've noted a major shift in your family unit, which made me wonder: In your household, do you now serve your wife and her girlfriend? Lots of potential in that one!

 

There's all kinds of services you might provide! Part of what makes CM a great place to be are all the different ways people weave chastity into their lives. Your situation is sufficiently novel to pique my curiosity, especially about how things change with a third person added to the household. Would love to see whatever you're able to write for us!

 

Pure, distilled, extra-strength desperation

In our household weekends tend to be when more kinky stuff occurs. We're both retired, which means we could choose any day, but turns out it's more often the weekend.

Leading into Sunday, I picked up some signs that my Lady had something in mind for me. Seeing that she also seemed horny, I braced myself for the unknown. Sure enough, as I served her breakfast she had that smile that makes my heart beat faster.

'I think you could benefit from some contemplation time' she said, 'Thinking about your status is a good thing.' When I encouraged her to go on, she indulged me and continued, telling me that I would be spending time in my chair. As in, cuffed to the pole behind it in the basement. As in, pants lowered and unlocked from my device for 'a stretch'. As in, lower abdomen strapped to the chair so humping anything is impossible.

What this means is her skillful torment: Bringing me to the edge over and over, but stopping at the first sign I might come. Each time she does this tease-torture, it seems like she learns a bit more about my pattern and is able to time it so that I'm oh-so-close, then stops and leaves me there.

Breakfast was late, so she sent me to secure myself in the chair around 10:30. After about 20 minutes she came down with the key, pausing to kiss me deeply until I was fully inflamed. She undid my pants, pulling them down just far enough to expose my cage, which she removed. Mr. Happy was immediately responsive. My Lady then grabbed a towel and spread it over my clothes to protect them from drips, leaving me in full uniform and fully engorged. She gave me a few idle strokes with one finger, until my first gasp. At that she stood up, grabbed the cage, and headed upstairs. She said 'A good start to some meaningful meditation,' then left me there.

In this arrangement there is no way for me to get myself off, something we both know. As has been made crystal clear to me, any orgasm for me is hers to grant. It has now been a long time. So when free of my prison, I'm really, really, really wanting to come. My Lady was mistress-ful at the art of denial, coming down at random times to get me close the edge, begging, convincing me that it might just happen, then leaving me oh-so-close. By the time she released me to make dinner my mind was mush and all my nerve endings were crying out for attention.

What I got was the bag of peas and locked back up into my max security protective device, the smile still on her face. She sat in my chair after adjusting my tie and had me ask the 4 questions before licking her to a nice tidy O. As she came down, all she had to say was 'I hope your meditation helps your devotion to cooking us a nice meal - better get to it!'

I love my Lady

 

A few of my Lady's thoughts

Here and there my Lady and I look back on the territory we've covered, and often are blown away by what has changed. It took years on my part to convince her to accept my submission in the form of controlling the keys to any freedoms for me, but once it clicked for her we were off and running. She regrets we didn't do it sooner, and is determined to maximize the benefits she receives from my various kinds of service.

A key element she introduced that has become a central fixture in my submission to her has been the ritual I have called the four questions. Pasted below is a post I made in 2020, describing it:

[[[[Our ritual

A couple posts back I referred to our ritual. Some time ago, my Lady wrote me a note that included this paragraph: "...you must come find me, kneel, kiss my feet, then thank me again for agreeing to be your Lady. Finally, I want you to petition me to grant you four things: 1) To keep you locked up for the rest of your life; 2) To always keep you in a butler’s uniform befitting serving a Lady; 3) To supervise and enforce your health and fitness (I like my lean butler!); and 4) To punish you any time you fail to please me in any way, at my discretion. Still on your knees, ask me for each of these four things sincerely and with humility."

The way things have shaken out, she has me do this whenever she feels she'd like to hear me 'renew my vows'. Now, she has taken to having me ask for these things when I'm in the Pussy Worship position - in full butler dress, kneeling between her thighs, hands cuffed behind. It so reliably turns her on to have me affirm my submission this way that it almost always has led to extended oral after she has agreed to provide oversight, control, and strict enforcement of her expectations. As I ask the four questions, I can see her become more flushed and aroused with each one. For her, foreplay; for me, devotion and mild torture. I'm always in 'cage rage' by the time I've asked all four questions, which makes the oral worship that follows all the more trying.

I marvel that she has devised this and that it serves both our needs so well. It's a great treat we give each other. She provides the locks, I provide the Worship!]]]]


Since I posted that entry, my Lady has corrected herself, saying that it's not really me doing the 'vowing', it's her - in response to my requests. 'And, I will indeed keep my vows'. As always, she's not menacing or threatening when she makes statements like this; it's just a matter-of-fact assertion of the power she wields so effectively over me. Her refinement of her authority and expectations of me is ongoing. It's overwhelming at times - she asks much - but, for me, so arousing and exciting. One of the core mechanisms of chastity is that your partner triggers towering arousal, lust, need, accompanied by the denial that turns one's brain to mush.

More, lately, my Lady has become very 'kissy'. She loves to engage me in a clench at random times, then send me on my way. It fires us both up, her in ways she's free to address whenever she'd like, me left impressed yet again with how completely secured I am. Her shit-eating grin when she sees me grappling with it all is one of the potent images burned in my brain. We get each other going in such wonderful, complementary ways. I love my strict Lady!