Long initial lock-up - did it work for you?

well, i am not heterosexual, but i have gone 90 continuous months being locked. the first 6 months were very tough, but at a certain point, which varies i will admit for each guy, you come to the realization you would rather be endlessly frustrated than to have a momentary ejaculation.

 

I experienced the same.
After a certain amount of time locked (months) I just got to grips with being nicely turned on a lot of the time and left the frustration part behind.

 

My longest was 2 months without cumming but that was when we had a newborn so there was no teasing or anything (plus I'd rather nap than masturbate - I wasnt even locked those 2 months).

After the first few weeks the frustration was gone and I was fine not cumming. Maybe it would have been different if I had been teased the whole time.

 

3-6 month initial lockup may be a bit extreme. There is a lot of psychological issues that the physical restraint and denial of ones manhood causes. They are easy to overcome, but forcing the issue that extreme that fast may cause the guy to completely back out of the whole idea

On the flip. from personal experience, i know its better to go for longer lock periods at the start instead of "getting used to" the cage a few hours at a time. if the fit is correct and causes no pain or discomfort when flaccid and normal, then there should be no difference between 6 days and 6 months.

Now, if you don't tell your man that his lockup is 6 months, and tease him along plenty to keep him 100% interested in continuing the game, you could probably get him there, as after the first month or 2, hormones level out and the cage becomes part of you, it feels "normal".

 

i dont know, most of us struggle to convince our wife/gf of chastity in the first place... if mine had said "ok but only if you start with 3 months" i would have agreed instantly lol

 

I dunno. My wifes.domme friend convinced her to do the "double the lock time" method until she went over her favorite (as in where she liked me best). It made each lockup very exciting and got me into the game (EMC was her choice). We learned a ton along the way. Shes going longer now, wants to keep me guessing but I have to follow her lead.

I think any couple really into this needs to try a 3 mos. spell, but very few are really ready physically or mentally fresh out of the gate. Every couple is different so no single author or advice should be taken literally.

 

I think it depends on what you count as initial lock up, If your thinking of it as the first time you are locked, then it’s not going to work. You need to get your cage sorted and work out what works for you, as in your ring size and cage gap ect. And then once you have done say 5 days or a week locked then you can think about being locked longer.

 

Agree with some others on the fit time…that takes some time. Also depending on how you want the lifestyle to go…in our case we played off and on for the last several years, and as we got back into it this past year (end of 2021), she wanted to “reset” things a bit. First was getting me pierced…and we’re around the 2month mark with that, and recently received my new glans armor ready to go once things are fully healed etc. To that end, her goal is what was outlined in the article the OP referenced…my wife fully agrees and embraces this and I know when we get ready to go in the GA that it’ll be a “permanent” (read more indefinite) situation and my initial “lock up” (meaning out for orgasm) will be at least 3 months. She’s fully in board, and fully participatory…meaning she agrees that there needs to be a relatively steady tease/denial going on and that the keyholder needs to participate (on HER schedule) in the chastity. It shouldn’t, in her mind or mine for that matter, be a “lock up and forget it exists” situation. Those that are into that sort of thing, I respect your opinions and wishes, but that’s not what ours is about. Time will tell. Longest I’ve been locked without orgasm or any kind was about 36 days…she finally “had to have it” and wanted me to cum so she did. Frankly, even without the cage on the last couple months since my piercing, I still don’t cum without her permission - but it’s been very different and a lot freer without the cage on, and I know we both want that old feeling and her fully controlling things back.

 

Our first denial period turned out to be 150 days or so. Yes. I'm not sure I learned anything other than my place.

 

pretty much exactly that…let out of hygiene checks or anything she wants - if she wants to play or wants PIV or whatever. We both view it that “my” penis is hers so she decides what to do with it, if it gets an orgasm etc. Pretty much what chastity means to most - she’s in control.

 

We did 70 days without using the key once, and it was transformative. We were forced to stop at 70 days but she was determined to see it through to 4-6 months.

I was relieved that everything worked and quickly returned to normal, as was she, but it's also given her confidence to do "4-6 months, maybe 9, maybe 12".

But, at the moment she is enjoying making love, tying me, teasing me, and denying my orgasms.

We're enjoying a much slower and intimate love making now, more than ever before, because my orgasms are forbidden (with 6 weeks continuous lock as a consequence, which I really don't want). Plus, because I was denied any direct sexual contact or erections for 70 days, her orgasms and her sexual pleasure has definitely taken a front seat to mine. I've never been a selfish lover, and my woman has always cum first, but with orgasm off the table for me other things have taken the forefront.

It's such fun.

Get a good well fitting and hygienic cage, and as soon as you can last a week go for as long as you can. Somewhere around 6-8 weeks things will change.

And lay of the porn

 

I agree completely. For a couple of years I was locked for various periods of time in different cages by my wife/Mistress until she found the right one for me. She then began locking me 24/7 in early 2020 and it now seems to have become permanent---for over 2 years no erections or orgasms have been permitted and I am unlocked only for cleaning which Mistress closely supervises.

The first 2 or 3 months of 24/7 lockup were the hardest for me, since then I still get horny and frustrated at times but have learned to accept the fact that my lockup is permanent until/unless Mistress decides otherwise.

 

A commitment arose that meant the cage was inappropriate. Nothing medical or health. My D was in perfect shape, the fucking traitor haha. Full working order.

No prostate stuff, it's not our thing. I did have a few spontaneous emissions which were as exciting and arousing as a runny nose. To quote the memes; Just a dribble.

I experienced two accidental ejaculations while I was playing with her and she was jiggling the cage. She doesn't want me to ejaculate at all so they were genuine mistakes.

 

We didnt hv an oficial initial lock up period.. we started male chastity on n off for som 4years.. locked n released purely for sex.. masturbation was kept to a minimal since tat was d habit we r trying to break.. so i would say longest locked period was mayb 3 weeks.. i was unlocked only for sex during her fertile period.. ok we were trying for a baby.. d rest of d time.. since she was not having it.. i don either… it moved on slowly to shes having it via oraly.. yet i stil dun hv it too.. tat has been d patern for d last 6 years mayb..

 

I can understand why people suggest the "initial lockup of 3 / 6 months" approach, but the problem with it is that while people have discovered that it "gets real" once you can deny orgasms for those lengths of time, they forget that they went through many periods and often many devices until they ended up with a device that fits and a routine that both suits them and doesn't cause them health problems.

I'd suggest anyone trying to "get stuck in", to follow two principles:
- Always stop and sort any little problems out before they become big problems - don't just focus on the calendar.
- Use a doubling method to gain the experience and stamina for long lockups - 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year. Or you could simply aim to beat your previous record by a week or a month.

The advantage of these methods is that you get continual progress, and there's always another target to aim for. If you have to stop for any issues then you're not back at square one every time, you just pick up to do the current target again.

 

Is the essence of chastity not to give away control?

When my wife/Queen wants piv or any other form of sex i do what she wants.
If she wants me to cum (together) thats her choice if she wants oral, anal, backrub, footrub i just comply.

When i get to submissive she release the presure with a ruind O.
When i'm Grumpy she only tease me.

We male's in chastity does have nothibg to say just serve and communicate what youre feelingings are.

Thats the dynamica we have...

 

There's a spreadsheet on that site that you can use to keep track of orgasms, etc, so I would advise using it
https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/tracker.htm

I started chastity on Dec 12, 2021 and completed a self-imposed 90-day stint without full O from Jan 1 - April 1. I did end up having a long 6-week period there where I was unlocked and we both thought we were done with the cage. But then I found a super comfortable cage and re-locked.

 

@bondinchas offers some good points that shouldn't be overlooked.

When you're first getting started there are a lot of things to figure out with cage fit, grooming, her confidence that it doesn't hurt you, etc.

My wife started with a day, then a couple, then a weekend, another weekend, a week and so on. We both learned much at each step and eased into it.

 

I think the word "initial" lock-up confuses the issue. An "initial" lock-up of 90 days is probably too extreme for almost all of us. (key word......initial)

Instead, it may be useful to slightly reword the article. Exchange the word initial with the word milestone.

Example: "A truly changed and chaste relationship hasn't truly begun until a 90 day MILESTONE lock up has occurred."

Folks may or may not agree with that, but I think the author really means that true growth occurs AFTER a significant lockup. And nearly everyone agrees that a 90 day period generally qualifies.