my KH and I have decided that we are going to pursue a formal FLR. We are curious what guidelines or rules you guys set in a FLR. If you have any resources we could look more into how to have a FLR we both would appreciate it.
We do. We are going to sit down tomorrow and list all of the expectations we both have and things she will require of me.
It's important for her to feel able to act spontaneously without to much fuss in my opinion-i.e. she makes the rules and breaks the rules as she sees fit!
Be careful, you don't want it to look like an insurance document. That could suck any spontaneity and fun out of your relationship. Some would warn against contracts of any kind.
The most simple contreact would be 1 you do as she says in the event of dissent or dispute see rule one. Let that run for a month and have prearranged commitment to discuss and review how things went where both can speak freely. With the conversation that took place during review run the contract again for 6 weeks .. then review reviews slowly get further apart at a pace that you both agree. go from there. consider outlines rather than rules and beware of extremes You might be allowed the odd hissy fit ... and she might be allowed to beat your ass for no reason other than she wanted to. either of which may or may not work for you.. but thats it IT IS FOR YOU so don't let others overly affect your joint choices.
Simple list of your hard limits. 1) this tells her what to avoid and feel more confident 2) you can in a round about way let her know just how far she can explore ( or exploit). If your doing a formal contract, define a safe word. Example for me hard limits were: No humiliation in front of our kids/ or family members If your starting out and married, how do you really feel if she was to bring home another male.... But I agree with others don’t write it so you have a ton of veto powers,
We were always the anti-contract type. We are toying with one now, but not sure if we'll actually use it. Some will say in an FLR there should be no requirement laid on the female. I'll disagree with that as leaders have requirements placed on them all the time. If there is something you honestly feel like you need, put it in there. On the other hand don't make it your sexual fantasy, it should be focused on her with you as an afterthought.
Congratulations. Communication and Respect for each other’s limits is very important at first untill you find out how deep you want to get into your FLR relationship. I’ve Green’s books helped my Mistress. If you do some searching you’ll find enough information but remember your situation is unique and special. Good Luck.
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