Hello, I've been reading here in silence for over a year and am thrilled by the contributions. I am in a relationship with my incredibly, beautiful and smart girlfriend. She is 24 and I am 26, we have been a couple for three years. I told her quite early on that I like it when she controls whether I come or not and at first she wasn't very comfortable with it. Now she likes to tease me and forbids me to come. In general, she also wears the pants in our relationship and since we've been living together I take care of the whole household, she doesn't do anything and I like to do it for her. She also earns more money than me and works for a big company. I give her massages and try to do everything I can to make her life better and easier. Three weeks ago I showed her a metal Chastity Cage and showed her how I put it on. She didn't know it at all and was a bit shocked and worried that it would hurt. I then answered several questions but after that the subject was over for the time being. Last week, after a massage and an orgasm for her, she told me not to come and then I brought it up again and she said we could try it. Today a micro chastity cage made of resin should arrive and I'm waiting for the right time to ask her to take the keys. I've never been so excited and I hope it goes well. If so, it will completely change my life. I'm really looking forward to it but I'm a bit scared that she'll end up liking it too much. But in the end I have no choice anyway and she decides... as always I don't know if I've posted this in the right forum, it's my first post. I do feel like we have a FLR in the beginning though.
This is wonderful to hear! You're both doing so well at such a young age. It's wonderful that you've found and accepted yourself as submissive and disclosed yourself to your smart, beautiful and successful girlfriend in your 20s, and not pretended to be an alpha male into your 40s like so many of us here. It's great how willing young women are now to lead their relationships, it's a wonderful evolution and a credit to the parents' generation that we've encouraged daughters to be strong and not hold themselves back. I'm sure chastity will work great for you and help you develop as a devoted submissive masturbation-free man. You're both on a special journey.
Yes, I had submissive signs early on and accepted it right away. I'm also successful in my job and happy but she is better with money and earns more which she also makes me feel. She is already leading our relationship and I am very curious how it will be when I am locked up and she takes the keys, I hope that she will become even more self-confident and accept my "help" in the household more easily. Sometimes it's too much for her... I definitely have to be careful and I don't think I should sound desperate so as not to scare her off as she keeps me locked away... do you have any tips? I'm so excited to see how it develops. Thanks for your nice comment!
I think you will find out how easy it is to slip your cock in and out of the device. At least that was my experience with several devices including custom devices. I find them uncomfortable. The idea turns me on but I hate wearing them especially when I know I can masturbate anyway by slipping pout of it. My wife and I do the honor system and happy with that. Sounds like you have a good situation with your Girlfriend.
Yes I was wearing cages before so this is not new to me but I can handle them quite well and I‘m comfortable wearing a cage longterm. I would never dare to slip out, this would destroy the whole situation and would make her lose trust. Yes we are both really happy
It is great to acknowledge your submissive side, enjoy the feeling of being in the control of a beautiful woman. As she sees your frustration grow I am sure she will enjoy that and develop in her role. Apart from doing things around the house, pamper her body and make sure you improve your oral skills so that she is satisfied without PIV. It is very exciting to be locked at your age, good luck on your journey.
Yes I‘m so excited! I will ask her to take the keys on Saturday and hope for the best. That’s a great advice thank you. My oral skills are already quite good, I already perform oral on her way more often then I get it from her. She really likes PIV so I think that in the beginning I will be unlocked regular to satisfy her and then we will see how it goes. My sexdrive is pretty high so I‘m a bit scared but I can’t help myself she already got me on the hook since three years, can’t deny it.
I wish I had the balls to suggest to my girlfriend when I was in my 20's. My life could have been so different if I had stayed with her. She use to deny me orgasms, tease me constantly and flirt with other men. I really let the greatest one go. All the best in the future and I hope she fully embraces this for you.
That sounds great! Yes my sexdrive is quite high and she restricting it is so so hot for me.. She likes tease and denial a lot but isn’t flirting with other guys, she is absolutely loyal and I‘m too We talked about it on the weekend but it was probably the worst time to speak about it.. something personal was going on for her but when we had sex I couldn’t hold back and asked her again about chastity. She said that she really likes me being submissive around the house and in bed but not all the time and that she would like us to switch it up so that I‘m also more dominant (just in bed). She also told me that she would lock me up but only because it’s my fantasy she isn’t really enjoying it and doesn’t like the look off it… uff that was hard.. But yeah as I have written before it was a bad timing and she is still open to lock me up for my fantasy which is a bit sad but a start I guess.. I think I have to wait a week or a bit longer so everything is fine again in her personal life and maybe ask again… it’s a rollercoaster… It’s just that I know that she would enjoy it when I‘m locked but she doesn’t. It’s still a bit strange for her
Good luck. One of my minor life regrets is that I didn't focus on developing relationships that would allow me to explore my kinks when I was your age. I was thoroughly dominant then, internet kink dating sites and things like fetlife didn't exist and I never met a partner that could be a sub for me. I should have tried harder. Now I'm middle aged and unexpectedly switched. I thank the stars that my vanilla wife agreed to explore it with me in a way that she would never have considered for my previous dominant incarnation.
Hi and welcome, sounds like you're starting quite the journey. It sounds like she'll embrace it, just bad timing as you say. When I was younger, I couldn't wait for anything if I was excited about something, over the years, I've been married for 20, I've learnt that timing is everything, not just timing but the receptiveness of my wife. Putting her emotional needs first, it's a major part of the submissive lifestyle I think. You have many years to enjoy each other, wait until the time is right and I'm sure she'll be onboard. She'll also respect the fact that you put her emotional needs first whilst she was dealing with her personal issues. I have only been in chastity for a week or so and after being married for so long I wasn't sure how my wife would take to the idea, I admit I was worried about raising the conversation. I explained to her that my chastity is all about increasing her level of enjoyment in and out of the bedroom, that her needs take priority over mine. We looked at the cages online together and at the same time she ordered her toys, it's been fantastic, she's enjoying the control and rightfully so, it's long overdue. You sound as if you have a fantastic relationship and once she gets a taste for your chastity, I think she'll embrace it wholeheartedly, let us know how it goes, good luck.
My best wishes for your journey. If I compare our life NOW with the life three years ago, when we started this lifestyle, we seem to be completely reset. In the beginning we had much PiV, fucked a lot, and started to do kinky stuff. Slowly sled from not working vanilla to BDSM and FLR. Now, three years later, my wife had too many meet ups with other femdoms and discovered that it is better for her, if she keeps me locked permanently and only milks me empty occasinally. Almost all the pleasure is for hers now. She says when, where and what happens in "bed". Mostly it isnt the bed anymore honestly. So maybe it will change for you also. I have to admit, that I sometimes triggered her a bit and tried to steer her from the bottom. By giving hints, waking up desires. (in my eyes it is okay up to a certain level) The permanent lockup thing for example. I thought it was the key to show her, there was no neednto look for me, but more for her. She always mentioned if is not easy to think about both of our libido and sexual pleasure. So I manipulated her a bit in this direction. Just by acting. Not talking. She always felt guilt before to make me cum and give me orgasms. Now she only sees her orgasms, her lust and drains me if necessary. Since she discovered the advantages of permanent lockup and knows it is okay for me to stay locked permanently, she doesnt have guilt anymore to really force me to do what she wants. She got more self esteem by this longer lockup period we are making through right now. She even enjoys riding my strap on cock now. This has been my goal from the beginning. Make her see what is possible, open her mind for new things, help her to get the self esteem to discover HERSELF and not the view others might have on her. Let her natural dominace, she is dominant and a hotwife since the beginning, but doesnt /didnt want to let it out somehow. She improved so much by this development and realization. Personally, at work, life, friends, and of course sexlife. She is now ready to let her leashes go and as it is said very often BCWYWF. So maybe in your case you lit a fire, that just needs the right amount of oxygen and wood to grow big. She seems to have a lot of thunder already. Maybe you just gift her your whole being, your whole sexuality and so on as a present. Candlelights. Cook for her. Make her feel very comfortable. And as a gift you give her a steel cockcage in a nice black box which is covered inside with red satin. On your knees of course. Romantic. No harsh words. No pornspeak. Maybe give her oral pleasure. No discussion. Your last try, which you dont communicate. So you clearly give her the control over the cockcage (not only the keys) and your cock. She can use it or not. It really depends on her then. Tell her it is her choice and you just give her the opportunity. If she doesnt put it on your cock. Dont ask for it anymore. You wouldnt be the first one here, who would have been locked after one or two years after the first talk about chastity. After some on and off sometimes. Good luck on your journey for you both.
Congratulations on your dynamic/relationship/letting your submissive side donors thing and grow. It sounds like the two of you are off to a fantastic start. She’s willing to try and curios about locking you up. Remember not to attempt rushing it. She may try it out and run with it. She may take a little time to adjust to it. Be sure to continually reassure her that it’s not too painful and that it’s for her. I wish both of you all the luck.
Yes, I will take things slowly. It's just the look of the cage that bothers her. She loves the effect and is having dinner and drinks with friends tonight. She has taken my credit card with her and told me to clean the apartment in the meantime, take out the garbage, do the dishes and get everything ready for tomorrow morning. I can't imagine anything better and hope that I‘m allowed to bring her to an oral orgasm later, if I have done all the tasks properly, that would be a dream.
The best part of this is you were honest with her. The second best part is she is willing to explore and not judge. She is rare! With honesty and frequent communications, you both have the potential for a lot of fun and the kind of relationship others will envy. Good luck to you both!