But I'd like to wait. My wife is supportive of me being locked up. Has seen the benefit. Used to be we'd fool around once/twice a week and I'd masturbate every day. Now that I'm locked, I don't masturbate. But now she wants to have sex almost every day. This seems so ironic. Most folks would say, "way to go man". And as the guy locked up and her as the KH, and with the stated goal of servicing her needs at all time, I should have little to say. But, I really would rather either give her oral to orgasm, or fuck her to orgasm but stop before cumming. I want to be on edge for longer. It's only been since Monday and frankly Monday's romp wasn't that great. Came way too quick. It was more like a ruined orgasm for me that anything. Looking for suggestions here. I know, the only right answer is, " Do what she wants, I am her servant". But man, I'm wondering if there's an entire other side of me on the other side of orgasming every day or two. I believe there is. I can feel myself change and become so much more attentive, loving (yes horny). I'm more than happy to attend to her needs. But why does she want me to cum? I've read stuff about how to satisfy a woman/KH while a husband is denied. Besides the oral, and pull out, there's cuckolding. I don't see her making me a cuck. Maybe I'd be ok, sort of, with it but she thinks it lacks morals, so I don't see that happening. Is there some other approach that folks have used to allow a guy to experience denial with a somewhat reluctant wife?
Eerily I came too quickly on Monday too. And as I'd just stopped thrusting to prevent me going over the edge it kind of just pumped out in a ruined orgasm kind of way. Anyway, I digress. I suggested a strapon because of this but my wife isn't keen although it seems to be more about her denying me pleasure rather than her needs. Other options I've read people try are thick penis sleeves or using numbing cream on the penis.
I am like you in that respect and have been told i might be getting unlocked tonight but she is due on her period anyday so at least i know another full lock up is due soon Talk to her be open see what she says.
We think alike. And I've bought both. A bought a strap-on along with the cage. If that's not a hint, I don't know what is. Her reaction was NFW. She wants the real thing inside her, not something fake. I have a sleeve I bought a couple years ago. Same problem. I find this discussion so bizarre. For one, I could never see myself having this discussion with a friend or co-worker, so this site is great and I'm glad I have folks to discuss this with. Second, who in their right mind complains about their wife wanting to be fucked by you and for you to orgasm inside her? Complete mind-f*ck. Most guys would run off to work and start bragging to their buddies, "Guess what, my wife told me this morning she wants to be fucked. She actually said she wants to feel my cum inside her". All my friends would pat me on the back and lament that they wish their wives were like mine. But no, I've got to find a problem with everything. (there's truth in that)
I need to have the same conversation with my wife. She is happy for me to please her by oral but i guess some women love a real penis and to feel her man cum inside her i know mine does, but now in chastity we will see what the future holds.
My guess is that she's going through a cycle. Enjoy it for now, knowing that you're pleasing her, and when she comes down off it sex will likely thin out. IMO: Above all, if she's enjoying it, let her. She controls the intimacy.
So we went upstairs tonight after being told i might be unlocked, i gave oral sex for quite some time then used the vibrator on my wife, i gave her a cuddle and said seeing her orgasm was enough for me , her reply was looks like you are not being locked now after all i am done I could not be happier
^ unlocked ? hmmm - my GF unlocks me 'more than I'd like' during sessions, but hey - good problem to have ...
There's always toys you can use on her. Or you can use a numbing cream on your penis so you don't feel a thing and most likely won't orgasm from piv.
not always, my Madam dislikes most dildos and finds them uncomfortable and unappealing, she only likes the real thing. Remember it’s not all about you! So if she wants you to please her then you should do as your told.
Agreed. Kind of had all along because I know I need/want 100% of what she wants. It's still hard to get there sometimes. I read back on my original post: Right there my entire thinking is flawed. But.... That doesn't change the fact that I feel those things. What it means is right now, I'm still fighting it. I'm not there yet. It'll soon be three weeks. out of a six-month minimum. I bet three weeks is not a whole bunch of time to expect to change a lifetime in. It's debatable whether 6 months is.
I can see what your saying, but the point is it’s what she wants!!! Not what you are feeling! You need to just put her first!
I think this idea maybe got lost when this was asked: If you don’t already have a mains powered wand you’re missing a trick. You won’t look back. She won’t need penis for her sexual needs. Only to impart the deepest form of intimacy into your relationship. Either way, it’s a good shout, not every woman is into dildos
my GF gets off most often with a tiny single speed 'lipstick' vibrator, used externally we also have a mains wand (Hitachi knock-off) which rapidly delivers eye-watering results
Yes, tell her this: And then ask this: And explain that everything you do together is only ended by orgasm, not enhanced by it. Explain that every act you do together is incredible, your orgasms are mediocre in comparison to what she feels in hers. You’d be much happier to refrain on that front in pursuit of being a happier person… And then introduce Karezza. That’s an amazing, intimate experience.
There should be a button for tips. You deserve one. Thank you so much. I looked up what Karezza is and I swear, that's it. I'd almost go so far as to say that's what my chastity journey is all about. It's as if I knew where I wanted to go, I just didn't know how to get there or what it was called. All this orgams denial, chastity, no masturbation, service, is all about connecting with my wife on a spiritual level. Karezza claims it is "Soul Sex", rather than physical sex. It doesn't involve orgasms. And it is more intense that (what they call) seminal sex. So thanks.
Because she loves you and wants to make you happy. Because she's a giving person and feels guilty accepting pleasure without reciprocating. Because for years she's been indoctrinated about what it means to be a "good wife". Actually, I don't know what your wife is feeling. But those are the things I struggled with, and there wasn't a quick solution. At first I had such a hard time making hubby wait even a single day. But he gave me a lot of positive feedback... thanking me for making him wait, telling me how much he enjoyed the building desire, etc. When I let him cum, he thanked me for that too - whether it was a day later or a week. When I asked if I was being too mean, he reassured me that I wasn't. Most of all, he gave me time to let go of those old notions. Eventually I learned that not letting him cum WAS making him happy. That I was giving him pleasure even if I wasn't letting him have an orgasm. That I was being a fantastic wife, even if I wasn't being a "good wife". But none of that happens overnight. Talk about it. Listen to her concerns (though at first she may not really understand them herself). Give her encouragement, reassurance, and most of all, time.
Where did your husband get the ideas for chastity and orgasm denial? It's very counterintuitive for a man (or woman) to think he would be better off going without.
Alternatively there's relishing the agony of the sub drop. It appears that you are destined to experience what it is to submit. You are being denied. You could choose to shut up and take it like a sub. anything else smells to me like topping from below. Am I wrong?
This perhaps seems "counterintuitive" but I'm learning through my chastity journey that it is anything but. This is not a new concept at all, and is not rare. A member of this page posted a reference to Karezza. It's a sexual practice that does not involve orgasm. The term implies "The Embrace". The concept was described in a paper written in the 1930's. Look up the term in google today. Tons of discussions. And not on fringe/porny websites. Mainstream sites like ABC News, New York Times, etc. Personal experience so far is the benefits are huge. as with all things, there's probably a limit. Fortunately, my own restraint is not strong enough to test the limits. All I've managed is to do is postpone orgasm on the order of days. Not months. I also suspect that there aren't the same benefits for a woman. Karezza is supposed to be practiced by both partners. A one-sided practice I guess technically is not Karezza, but I can only speak as a guy. I know what I get out of it, and I know I love the female orgasm. Which brings up the question. Does a woman love the male orgasm as much as a male loves the female orgasm?
Oh, I know all that. You haven't shared anything I haven't come to understand. I am curious to know how @MsPamela 's hubby came to this realization.
Hubby says he doesn't remember. That might just mean he doesn't want to talk about it since he's not overly forthcoming about this sort of stuff. Or he truly may not remember. We started with orgasm denial something like 15 or 20 years ago.