It may be a silly question however my problem is as follows. 1. Is it permittable to initiate sex with my Mistress or do I only wait until asked ? To make it clear I am talking about my performing oral on her nothing more without consent
You could always ask. Whether you get, is another matter. Are you afraid of being punished for asking ?
Thank you for the replies. The post was made before I was finished explaining myself and I have come to the conclusion that it is a silly question anyway. The problem I was trying to explain was it seemed silly to have to ask permission to pleasure my mistress in such a way rather than just instigating it and allowing her to decide if it continued or not. More a logistics question I suppose. It is getting more stupid the more I wright........Oh Dear. Dianne
The entire concept hinges on what SHE wants. Does she WANT you to ask, or does SHE want to ALWAYS initiate? It's worth asking the question and understanding where things stand. There may be times when she wants you to initiate. It is your job to interpret the subtle indications and do whatever she desires.
We have recently begun a 30 day experiment where I am not allowed to initiate any contact at all--including a simple touch on the shoulder, hugging, etc. It's an experiment in consent, she wants to see what it feels like to only do exactly what she wants, not what she feels she's obligated to do. It's not that I'm going 30 days without affection or touch, that would inhumane, but it only comes from her choice, which is opening a new window on the world for her. Men are conditioned to pursue and be initiators, women are expected to be available for that, and turning it on its head is interesting and empowering. Sexually, it's been nice. Being in cage-free chastity I was pretty wound up and always offering subtle and to so subtle hints and requests to service her or asking for tease and denial or whatever. Now I have to keep all that in check and just do what is asked of me. I thought it would be more frustrating than it is, I'm actually calmer now. When I do get to touch her it's rather electric, of course, it's amazing how arousing a foot massage can be now. She asks for more touch than I thought she might, being free to choose means she finds she wants it more than she expected. So it's all up to the individual Dominant, but for us, no initiation from the sub is the rule. I don't fully like it, but it requires a submission that I love.
Right now I may ask for sex or to fondle my wife but am almost always told no. She always initiates sex that now means I perform oral and use her new favorite vibrator to give her an orgasm.
In my relationship, we both instigate sex but she decides how far it goes and who gets to orgasm...Usually it's just her, but I am so grateful for any teasing she decides to give me, whether I am allowed to orgasm at the end of it or not.
...it's all about the relationship in question, and the little rituals of gentility and grace that you both think works for you... I am encouraged to ease her life, add to her pleasure, and remove stress... so, when I do something physically pleasurable for her I watch for her response before heading near any of the naughty bits... it's quite a bit like when we dance the tango ;-)