Whiny husband obsessed withh pleasuring me

Some women simply don't enjoy receiving oral.

 

Or receive it all the time

 

Or receive it at all. My guess is that about half of women that I've been with simply don't like it.

 

For example, my second KH has no interested in being pleasured orally at all, and I respect that.

 

I think you will find that very few people like being pressured into doing something they are not in the mood for.

If you lady is not in the mood for attention of any kind... whether or not its the kind you want it to be... then give her some space and go some other things that need doing in some other part of the house especially if they are things that benefit only or mostly her.

I thought that was just common sense.

 

It kinda goes with being denied orgasms. Thankfully my wife likes it...multiple times a day.

 

Wow, so many amazing replies!
We have a regular intervals of pure vanilla. No cage, no submission, etc. She tells me "cage off", and I know it's time to give it and her a rest (this is after all intense for both).
I still do little things for her but they are subtle and really just considerate things.
When locked and serving, as much as I love giving oral I know she only likes so much. Instead I do a lot of lotion on the feet and legs. A lady just likes to be loved. If he wants to drip from his cage while he "serves you" in his head then everyone's a winner
The key is he MUST respect your wishes.
If he is so self centered that he isn't hearing you, he needs a bucket of water over his head.
I agree that taking away the cage and all BDSM for a while may get thru his thick skull. If not then he doesn't deserve any play because he obviously doesn't actually care about your needs, only his own.
This could be a great way to turn his burning need to please you into getting a whole lot of personal body care and house work done
But... He really does have to want for real to do what for real actually pleases you.

Good luck!

 

My wife has, on the occasion that we have, really enjoyed it... it’s just i need to wait for a leap year and blue moon for that to happen!

 

Hahahahaha.....I can totally relate to this! Spot on!

 

I think that description covers quite a lot of men on this forum, which isn't an issue if both partners are aware and happy with it.

 

I'm glad I was able to help in some small way! Four times a month??? He's spoiled!!

One more thought from my perspective as a locked up husband: any pre-scheduled bedroom activity would ruin it for me. I NEED it to be unknown at bedtime what is going to happen. It's so thrilling to hope for some play and it's extremely hot to be denied and thank her for the denial. If I were a KH I'd never allow for any predetermined activities. The randomness for me is essential and one of the hottest elements.

One thing I wish my wife would do is have me write down ten or fifteen fantasies for her to review. She could so easily use these to tease me with. Just even with pillow talk, not even having to do anything. It seems like such an easy way to tease me. Like if for instance if I told her I fantasized about being at a clothing optional beach where she is fully clothed in a bikini and I am forced to go nude in my cage. She could easily spend a few minutes telling me how nice it would be for her to have everyone staring at me and laughing or pointing. And how she'd like it because everyone would know I was her property and submissive. And then she could roll over and go to sleep and I would be totally horny and loving being denied and locked.

Just a quick example of what I view as an easy way to tease with little effort.

 

I have problems understanding why my wife isn’t more interested in doing anything. I think I (men?) am hard-wired to just want sex/activities more. We seem to have nothing for day and days (weeks) then one really hot night! I’d say the ‘frustration’ but reality is boredom, between times, is nearly in tolerable. In my eyes, it would take so little effort to sneak in something once or twice a week to keep me happy - but I’m learning patience!

Your husband sounds like he’s already more than lucky with a once-week play session!

Can you give him some activities to do mid-week and make him earn a release? It doesn’t have to involve you making effort (quite the opposite) or ‘pleasuring’ you... Or even just things like tie him up while you watch TV!

 

I agree and feel for you. Having said that, I do need to remind myself this is about her. After 16 years of marriage I think she's enjoying finally being able to say no to sex and not be resented for it. Or more accurately, not even having to say no. I feel like chastity is a gift to her that manifests itself as the removal of guilt for saying no. She is free. Unfortunately she is still learning, and I can sense sometimes my releases are her giving in to some sort of notion that she better give me something as it's been awhile. I've tried to tell her it's entirely her call and I only want it if it's what she wants. There are so many guys on here desperate to have a KH but don't, and I think about how lucky I am that my wife appears to enjoy being my KH. I desperately don't want to screw this up my topping from the bottom.

 

My wife still does feel guilty when saying ‘no’ , not that I directly ask but she knows what I’m thinking and makes an excuse. I also get really disappointed (but try very hard not to show it) when I think we’re going to but then we don’t. What she doesn’t realise is, if she made me undertake a task(s) or indulged in one of my fantasies (that takes almost zero effort for her) then I would be able to manage with zero ‘sex’ for far, far longer with no resentment or negative disappointment.
I think this just comes back to not being locked and forgotten!!
Back to the original question (going a bit off topic above!), I’d even propose dropping the scheduled play session and make it all about what you want and when. Just little and often attention to keep him pleasantly frustrated, you pleasured when, where and how and a play session for him if he deserves it!

 

Anonoman is right you just need to stop a minute and consider adjusting your thinking

Are you in an FLR or not?
Do you want all you should / could be getting from being in an FLR?

Then its up to you to ensure that you do.

Does he want to be in an FLR?
If he does its time he realised what one is

 

There is so much good information in these posts for someone new to being submissive like myself. I have really enjoyed reading the responses

 

MyLady has suggested that when he is acting up you could
make him sleep on the floor
get a cat litter tray just cover the bottom of it with dried peas or gravel and make him kneel on it
simply tell him he's just earned himself some extended denial ..day week month whatever you fancy .. after all you are in charge
or tell him straight .. your way or game over.