What's real and what's fantasy?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by chastitynovice, Jul 11, 2020.

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  1. chastitynovice
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    chastitynovice New member

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    My girlfriend and I have started to experiment with chastity. I've been locked up for a few hours at a time. We, generally, start fooling around we me locked up and serving her orally. Eventually I'm uncaged. She always allows me to cum.

    I guess that's my question. In my fantasy, I want to be locked up for days. I want to be flogged and/ or spanked whenever I disappoint her. IF I'm ever allowed to cum, I would have to beg her to let me lick it off her. In reality, I WANT to cum. Being ""forced to eat your own cum is incredibly erotic, until you cum, then it's disgusting.

    So, is this the reality for most, or do some really live the fantasy?
     
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  2. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    I think you'll find on here the whole range of what you described and beyond. That's one of the plus of chastity, it fits into a wide spectrum of sexual needs and desires. The other good thing about it, is that you decide what fits for you and your significant other. (or they decide for you - lol). There is no 'standard' way.
     
  3. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    It can be a blend of both fantasy and reality, what's going on in the head is enhancing what's going on in the bed.

    We can also change over time, often without noticing how much, what was once fantasy can become your reality.
     
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  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Maybe once she gets enough control and comfort with the situation she might ask you what you want as a reward. And Maybe those things can be rewards for you if she is cool with it. I would let her bring it up though.
     
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  5. madams-sissysub
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    agree 100%!
     
  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Let's be honest, most of what 's on this forum is fantasy.

    If what's going on in your head is feeling like a film on pornhub, then it's fantasy. If you're thinking about the moments of climax - being punished, made to lick her, being released etc - then it's fantasy.

    If you're thinking about her, and what she wants, and the long periods of being locked, rather than the release, then you're getting closer to reality.

    Good luck
     
  7. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Active member

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    Enjoy the ride.
    When I got into the BDSM lifestyle there were many things that were HELL NO I won’t do that ever. As I tried things they became hmm maybe one day. Eventually some of those things became things I really enjoy.

    During that journey I got involved in the local communities where I’ve lived. I’ve been involved here and other places. So I’ve met lots of folks including the site founder and others here. We’ve had parties and we’ve had get together. and we had lots of fun.

    The thing is you can be as mild or as wild as you want. But it’s what you and yours want. And what is wild now maybe mild in a year or two. So the answer is some of us do lots of things that many won’t believe. But some of us also keep that to ourselves most of the time.

    Personally I wish folks would keep the fantasies in the fiction section. But some gets presented as real. But some of what you read is real. Personally I take things with a grain of salt and don’t worry about it too much.

    This site goes through trends. You can see it in topics if you watch carefully. And you can see it in other ways too. Overall it’s a decent site. So just take what you like and ignore the rest. As in the end all that matters is you and yours enjoy yourself and that you are safe.

    So enjoy Your journey and you’ll figure out most of what is real and what is real stories in time.
     
  8. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Member

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    Don't be afraid to try things if its properly discussed between you and your other half, but there is a time and a place for those discussions and in the bedroom before sex is neither.

    You could write down a list of things you have seen in porn that you think might be fun, get your partner to read the list and possibly view the porn to see if its something they may enjoy, then give it a crack. Worst case scenario, you find out it isn't for you. Move on and try something else.

    Also decide (or find out) who the chastity play is for, what you both want to get out of it. It started off as "my thing" about 6-7 weeks ago but my partner is building into the role of being in control of my pleasure, as per my thread "baby steps", its a slow process.

    Fantasies are all well and good, some lead to enhancement of a healthy shared sex life, others are best left as fantasies, but only by discussion can you find out which is which. Also be careful that you partner is free to express themselves honestly and not hold back concerns or reservations (again this is why in the bedroom before sex is a bad place, somewhere neutral like the kitchen area when some quiet discussion can be had without distractions).

    Don't judge your own journey by those of others, everyone is different and every partner is different. This site has really opened my eyes about how far some go into the chaste lifestyle and whilst thats not where I want to go, its their journey and good on them for living as they wish.
     
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  9. GoddessHW
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    GoddessHW Hotwife & KeyHolder

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    For sure a reality...we've gone over a month caged without Cumming. You can make all your fantasies a reality. Just talk to her and be honest what you want. Communication is key
     
  10. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    For us, its a way to enhance our sex life while at the same time showing devotion to each other. I am caged at all time except for when she releases me for orgasm or sex and most of those are mutually agreed on just prior to the key being turned in the lock. Ninety percent of the time we are living a normal life, work, taking care of the house, and all other domestic responsibilities of daily life. The rest of the time is our devotion to each other, her caring for my emotional and physical needs and my desire to please her any way she desires.

    I do fantasize about other things, but they can also complicate life even more. 25 years ago we did some swinging and I enjoyed watching my wife taken by another guy. There are times I would like to see that again and that is the fantasy portion. Then reality kicks in and I remember why we stopped doing it and go back to our reality.,
     
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