We're certainly more mainstream...

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by JayDub, May 19, 2022.

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  1. JayDub
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    JayDub Member

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    When I first started coming here, many years ago, I was married. We had a 20 year marriage, of which years 9 through 18 were mostly of a FLR nature with discipline and liberal use of chastity.

    Reading some of the threads today I see many commenting that chastity is more mainstream or common and I have to say I agree.

    When my wife left me I was devastated, but on the advice of pals I got "out there" quickly and not so much "dated" as had dates where I took ladies to dinner and enjoyed nice evenings on the town. They were right, it build my self-esteem back up quite quickly.

    The reason I mention all of this is that after not too long I became quite open about my experiences of FLR and chastity, at one point even saying "open to intelligent FLR" in my Tinder advert. What I found was that almost ALL of the ladies I spoke to about it, or who enquired having read my Tinder, were quite open to the idea of chastity and intrigued about it. Saying that, I was always careful to explain it in a fairly vanilla way, emphasising the commitment, focus and intimacy.

    I really don't think I would have had the same reaction 20 years ago.

    I'm now again in a long-term committed relationship with a wonderful vanilla lady who also has now embraced chastity. She openly says she'd never have believed it before, but that it's a huge turn-on and she loves how it enhances or intimacy. I knew she was hooked when she said how she wishes she could recommend it to her friends.

    As I type I'm day 4 of a 21 day lock-up. The longest I or we have done or attempted.
     
  2. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Congratulations, it sounds great.

    I have a similar experience. She was vanilla, and really still is, but she loves putting the cage on and turning the key, and says she cannot imagine not wanting it.

    I feel blessed.
     
  3. MsCynsSlaveBoy
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    MsCynsSlaveBoy Active member

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    This is an awesome post
    I am very hopeful after reading this!
    Thank you.
     
  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    i have to agree that the concept and implementation of male chastity is more widely accepted now. Glad you found someone to connect with. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  5. ozzy-one
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    ozzy-one Long term member

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    That is awesome, so happy to hear success stories. It always helps to believe in yourself and convey to significant others what makes you happy.
     
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  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    It does feel like there's a change happening. Pleased things are going well for you.
     
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  7. JayDub
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    JayDub Member

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    Thanks for all the positive feedback... and agreement.

    Although i would stress the interest and positive feedback I received on dates etc was most likely to do with the approach itself. I would start with alluding to my marriage having had a FLR dynamic. Usually thats triggered "what's a FLR?" with most guessing "Fun Loving Relationship". From that window I would use the correct wording for "FLR" but explain in essence it was about being chivalrous, putting the lady first and keeping male ego in check. (What's not to like?) With chastity my lead message was "putting the ladys pleasure first, even to the forfeiture of my own orgasm" usually followed with an explanation that I would gain much pleasure from seeing my lady fulfilled.

    So, it wasn't "she becomes my Dominatrix and whips me around the house before pushing me off a cliff with a cucumber up my bum" nor was it "we clamp a metal ring tightly around my nuts, then secure a metal tube over my penis with a padlock. Then I eat her pussy and sleep on the floor."

    You get me?

    Presentation is 9/10ths the battle.
     
  8. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    Hapy for u tat u hv found yr partner for life.. its great puting d female interests 1st..most women would luv to try out chastity on d male.. nothing to lose.. everything to gain.. while keeping d male ego .. n his dick… in check..
     
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  9. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    The best part about your approach is you tell the other person about your interests early in the game. That gives them option to continue or opt out.
     
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  10. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Kudos and congrats.

    I fully agree how you act and what you say is so important. I’m in my mid 50s and like you dated some incredible women. Only a few in the decades that I’ve dated weren’t ok with kink. One was a religious nut. I never even brought up my interests as her comments on our first and only date made it clear she wasn’t very open minded. Another was more sneaky. She was a friend of a friend. I thought she was open minded and knew about my lifestyle. It seems she enjoyed talking about me behind my back and making nasty comments. So she was someone I didn’t go out with a second time.

    Other than those two, if you act like you did I’ve found most are curious and willing to listen if you don’t come across as a creep.
     
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  11. JayDub
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    JayDub Member

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    Absolutely. Certainly not the first date, although you can do some subtle digging or sew some seeds.
    And it's not without risk I guess.
     
  12. JayDub
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    JayDub Member

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    Keeping it as plain and simple as possible is key.
    There are risks, they can shout it all around town... but at my age I don't care so much, plus they'd look pretty silly too.
     
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  13. madams-sissysub
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    Glad it’s all going so well for you!
     
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