Was there a moment when she suddenly took charge?

I would say my wife got into it very quickly, duck to water. But it took her time to really take control of it because she felt bad about inconveniencing me so much with the device. Once she got over that, I haven’t been out very often. The PA she had me get for security definitely made things more real. So I guess for her, it was just once she realized I enjoyed her being more strict so she stopped feeling bad for not wanting me free.

 

In our case,she took control early and effectively. She has always been dominant, and quite honestly, I've always been submissive.
She had made an off the cuff comment about me needing a spanking one day. I chewed on the thought for a couple of weeks before I asked her if she was serious. No shit, within one minute I was bent over the bed with my pants around my ankles getting my ass blistered. And I mean blistered.
We talked a bit about it afterwords and she told me that this was the way things were going to be.
I was in love

 

My mistress always has liked holding the key, however in our first couple of years I didn't make it easy. I made the mistake of assuming she'd just "take control", I tried to be difficult at times thinking it would encourage her to want to punish me. This of course backfired and our lifestyle was kind of in a stalemate until I understood and figured out my role. Earlier this year I really changed my philosophy of the chastity lifestyle, I focused more on the pampering and servitude instead of the sex/kink, that made all the difference in the world to her. When I truly submitted and understood what I promised her is when I feel she truly took control in the way I hoped for.

 

Yeah, the moment I showed her the cage on the internet and explained what it was for. She told me I better order one. When it got to the house, she couldn't get it out of the box and on me quick enough. As soon as the lock went "click" it was game on. The T&D sessions, tying me up to the bed all came very easy to her. I even get the odd spanking with the wooden spoon...My Wife(KH) is open to just about anything so far...She told me a few days ago that this is what I asked for, so suck it up...

 

When I met the woman who was to become my Wife I already knew She was Dominant and I have always had a personality that was submissive to woman, so in our case it was from day one.

 

When I first asked Elle if I could wear a chastity device she agreed immediately but I had to prove to her that it was safe and feasible before she took control of the key. That took about two months and many failed devices. The game changer was when I put on the holy trainer. All of a sudden we had a device that wasn’t falling off, too big, trying to chew my balls off or being more work than was worth the effort.

It then took about six months until she really got what we were doing and truly took control. At the time we realized that we had transitioned from doing this because I wanted to, to her wanting to. Up until this point if I had wanted to stop she would have been disappointed but would have let me. It then moved to she would have let me but only with a very good reason. Now we will only stop if she says we stop. If I said I didn’t want to do this anymore it would have a major impact on our relationship.

Her control continues to increase. I am currently in my longest ever period of denial, approaching six months, I have had one orgasm this year and I am well past my comfort zone. I have heard that chastity only really starts when you don’t want to do it anymore. That point was reached weeks ago and she shows no sign of letting up.

Last night she told me I was silly to hope for an orgasm as it was a Sunday night and she had work the next day. She then proceeded to demand I give her an orgasm. Her rules for me don’t necessarily include fairness anymore!

 

This strikes me as a fair attitude on her part.

 

She took to chastity like a duck to water. After the first week of wondering if all this was weird, she didn’t care if it was or not...I was locked safely away, and to be honest, I think she really enjoyed knowing for certain that she could trust me not to cheat. We had only dated a few months, and there was a certain amount of security in knowing for certain that I was going to be faithful. Old course there are other ways to cheat: kissing, oral on another, intimacy, but one thing for certain was that any action with me would involve a steel cage wrapped around my privates.

The other stuff, took a little longer. The in control stuff happened one night when we were having an argument. I was about to leave the bed and sleep upstairs, and she told me in no uncertain terms I needed to turn around and bend over. I don’t know why but I did. She gave me a paddling and effectively ended our disagreement. We went to sleep without angst or hard feelings, fight over, she was taking the options away and we were right as rain.

There have been plenty of other moments, but that one stands out.

Another that made an impact wasn’t so much what she said or did, but her attitude. I had asked her after 6months if she wanted me to get pierced so that I could never pull out the back. She asked me if I could really pull out any time, I said yeah but it’s sharp and uncomfortable but yes I could pull out. She quickly said I should get pierced then. We went to get pierced within a week. She never hesitated.

 

Kitten has held the key from day 1 but I still don't think she has really taken control, nor have I given it to her. For most of our 45 years, I was the alpha in the relationship. Old habits are hard to change but we are working on it.

 

As someone who has hopes for that moment in the future, this is all good stuff. Thanks for the thread @Jessica Alexander .

 

@Nicoftime

There’s no doubt in my mind that it is more than a little weird for me to spend my days with my penis encased in a metal tube that Elle holds the key to. She also thinks it is weird but doesn’t care. She doesn’t ask why this works, it just does. We are closer, more intimate and have a much better sex life than we did pre my chastity. Who cares why it works!?

 

For certain she feels this is still our dirty little secret, but equally feels that this isn’t ever ending. We’ve cemented this into our relationship, her now more inclined to it than I. To be honest, I thought we would have periods of uncaged equal to being caged...nope, the cage is my default state now. So weird or not, she’s happy with it and is now compulsory.

 

My wife has been slow to assume control and while I still wish she would become a totalitarian in the bedroom, she has come MUCH further than I ever thought she would.

I keep showing her love, support and appreciation so that she feels comfortable going one more step forward. It is a process but it is working.

 

Weird? The new normal!

 

All is as it should be then!

 

I came out to Goddess about 6 months in. I had fallen in love with her. I needed her to know I was a submissive. I just told her about me. She replied by placing me in chastity and telling me I belonged to her. We are now married. We live a 24/7 Domme/Slave relationship. We have both never been happier.

 

39 years of marriage, 33 on equal footing, maybe me slightly dominant, 3 years of rocky times, the last three have been of me surrendering to a wife led marriage. I came "clean" as submissive in March 2016, hoping it would save our marriage. I confessed to her I was always in awe of her, mentally and physically. I hadn't been very nice for a few years, largely due to my male ego and work related issues and family related issues and told her I could change all that with her help.

Luckily she has accepted my plea for her to take control. Her voice and control has grown, as has her realization that I am hers to do with as she wants. A few weeks ago she told me to purchase a chastity device. This shocked me as she had previously stated many times that she had no interest in locking me. She had me in it a sporatically for test runs, then locked me in it and told me not to ask to be released because if I did she would just add time. (I do get out for regular cleaning and shaving, at least every other day.) So far I have managed to keep my mouth shut. When we first got the cage I told her about Loctober, so I'm hoping that at the end of the month I might get a little reprieve. I have had to come to grips with the realities of being locked. It is not a real easy, but I am enjoying the challenge. She is taking her orgasms right along, thanking me for my service, and asking how I am doing. I tell her I am loving every minute. For me October has been a dry month, even before being locked. I hope no one has told her about NOvember, I know i haven't, although I probably will.

 

@Jessica Alexander, thanks for starting this thread. IMO it addresses one of the most interesting and exciting things about woman-led male chastity specifically, and female domination of males in general - the moment at which she really takes control. It may be a point at which things truly begin to change, or it might even be the point of no return.

 

Interesting text from my wife today in response to a text I sent her this morning thanking her for our weekly review session which typically occurs on Monday evening.

What I said after first thanking her for the review was:

"Secondly, thank you for continuing to lock me. I appreciate you being consistant and adamant that this new leg of our journey be explored fully. Hopefully some of what the women wrote regarding male chastity and cage wearing rang true to your thoughts. Again, for me, the locking pushes my submission awareness to an extreme degree, so thank you for that gift."

Her response:
"Keeping you locked is also a positive for us both. You because it keeps me on your mind and me because it makes me feel empowered. So we will continue on as we are!!"

Yes, I remained locked, released only for my daily morning run and shower. I am so thrilled that she is becoming truly invested in her authority and utilizing her power. Yay!

 

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

 

Wait until she learns that you don't have to be released for running.

 

True that. I have tried a couple of times, seems that I'm getting to a new normal as I am able to tolerate more and more activity.

 

My wife still hasn't taken charge perse. I brought up that it would be nice to be locked up again after being locked and she agreed. It is her decision when I'm unlocked again and that is it.

 

There wasn't a single turning point, but there was definately a time I knew she had fully taken the reins. We were watching TV and after her footrub she had me lick her to orgasm while she continued to watch TV. When she was done I thanked her. She gave me a kiss and said "The laundry needs to be done" and went back to watching TV.