Uncomfortable Day

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by laerenielwen, Jun 29, 2020.

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  1. laerenielwen
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    laerenielwen Member

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    So, today has been emotional for me ...

    As a female who is new to the idea of being a KH, I've been thinking a lot about they dynamics of a relationship.

    Unlike a lot of people, I am not coming in to this already with a live-in partner, married, committed etc.

    I had a huge fear grip me not to long ago ... How am I to know if a person actually loves or cares for me? And are not just showing those things because they are locked up and I have the key.

    This is starting to truly terrify me ...
     
  2. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon hornyman

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    If they were not into you I don't think you would have the keys it is a lot to give up on the locked side of things.
     
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  3. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    That's an excellent question, and often comes up in the kink world. Does this person care for me, or do they just care for the kink?

    At the beginning it's hard to tell. But then over time you see what happens when real world events come up, like getting sick or family events or work. Are they supportive, or do they get upset because they can't get their chastity/kink fix?

    So like everything else in relationships, it's a matter of time.
     
  4. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Communications. Talk to your partner about your fears. Vanilla couples have the same fears - do they only stay here because I'm providing for them etc.

    I can only speak for my own circumstances but both Lady C and I are in no doubt what the priority of our committments are - and FLR / chastity aren't number 1 or 2.
     
  5. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active member

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    Stockholm syndrome or love?
    i love what you do or i love you?

    a rational love vs and irrational love?
    unconditional love vs conditional love?
    is it in all cases you can not have one with the other?
    does it really matter so long as you feel loved?
    could it be better to be truly loved yet you do not feel loved?
    if you are what you do. are true to yourself and honest with others be thankful for finding your place to grow. love needs the same things regardless of circumstance. don't let it pass you by.
     
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  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    I agree that communication is key. More than likely his need for you goes beyond chastity and kinks. Even if you met that way, most of your time together is spend doing things outside the FLR. It's like any kind of sex in a new relationship. Just as you'd sort out whether a partner cares for you or just for the sex, it will be the same for chastity. Just develop the personal connection and it will work as you want.
     
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  7. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    I am happily married for sometime, so maybe my opinion is bias... but I don't think I would start a potential long term relationship in chastity like this. That is just my opinion...
     
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  8. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    It is important to remember that the same exact thing happens with vanillas. Is it a genuine attraction, or just sexual pursuit? While nothing is guaranteed, as someone coming from this kink community, You will likely see the world in a similar way to Your sub, and that's a pretty good start. If You need an immediate and tangible litmus test, go late night grocery shopping with them. It tells a person all they need to know about a relationship.
     
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  9. laerenielwen
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    laerenielwen Member

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    Please explain the grocery concept :p
     
  10. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    Certainly! The late night grocery run for snacks and other nonsense is a defining experience. Let's say You and Your significant other have decided that Y/you are spending the night watching movies on a certain theme (ex: 90s RomComs), and,as we all learned on "Gilmore Girls," nothing is complete without a pile of snacks. Let's say it's 10:30 p.m. and Y/you two head to the grocery store. No plan, no people, maybe the radio gods have smiled upon Y/you upon entering the store with some sweet 80s new wave. Well, here is the moment where You know what You have. Is it an absurd and fun experience in an empty store with the person, or this grinding, exhausting experience? It should be easy and repeatable. You should feel like Y/you're the only two people left in the world, and that 80s new wave is playing just for Y/you.
     
  11. laerenielwen
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    laerenielwen Member

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    I have never wanted to go grocery shopping more! Thank you so much for that :D
     
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