Trying to be new to longer-term, how do I make my KH comfortable?

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Guest 2918, Jul 15, 2020.

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  1. Guest 2918
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    Guest 2918 Active member

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    #1 Guest 2918, Jul 15, 2020
    I posted this over in Vanilla but thought it worked here, too. Feel free to remove if it breaks any rules.

    So my wife and I have been playing around and dipping our toes into chastity for a while. We've gone all the way to buying a long-term device and her creating a game based on playing cards that will add to it. We're having an issue going into a long term play though based on her wanting to fuck after we have a play session or based on her not feeling she's "living up to my fantasy"

    Has anyone else had an issue moving from short term (1-3 day) play into the full thing? What was the clincher that gave your KH the confidence to assure their sub doesn't top from the bottom? What kept the KH into it? Any help would be fantastic. If you need any ideas on what we've tried, I'll be happy to tell you.
     
  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    #2 King Hippo, Jul 16, 2020
    "long term play though based on her wanting to fuck after we have a play session or based on her not feeling she's "living up to my fantasy"

    It really sounds like she needs to get on the site and become a "Verified Female" to talk to other women about this that have been in her shoes before.

    My opinion is, she can't look at this as living up to your fantasy... because that isn't what this is about. If she wants to have sex PiV after a play session that wasn't "planned" then guess what... that's ok. If you aren't allowed to orgasm from that PiV... that is ok too... if you do orgasm from it and you weren't suppose to because it displeases her... well I guess she needs to show you that it was not ok.

    My opinion means nothing though, do what makes your wife happy... at the end of the day she is more important than all of this.
     
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  3. Byrdie
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    Byrdie Junior Member
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    #3 Byrdie, Jul 16, 2020
    I agree with @King Hippo - what does your wife want? What's her fantasy? Has she developed any new fantasies since chastity has been introduced into your relationship?

    There's always the option of getting a strap-on harness that can accommodate your chastity device, finding a dildo that's a similar size and shape to yours (maybe a cyber-skin or similar concept?) so that she gets her intercourse with you and you get denied?

    This isn't a race or competition. If chastity gets your wife so hot that she's clawing at your device every three days, the challenge is how to get your bigger head back in the game after you're done satisfying her.
     
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  4. madams-sissysub
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    #4 madams-sissysub, Jul 17, 2020
    I agree with the other posters, learn what your wife wants most of all, ask her what she wants out of the relationship, and how she wants to proceed, then wait for her response, dont be pushy if she doesn’t answer right away and just let her respond in her own time.
     
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  5. Guest 2918
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    Guest 2918 Active member

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    #5 Guest 2918, Jul 17, 2020
    We had a very awesome candid conversation about it and it seems like we both have the same sort of hangups on expectations and points where we just have no idea how to proceed forward. I think talking is going to help a lot.
     
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  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    #6 MissyB, Jul 17, 2020
    I think it is very rare that honest conversation doesn't lead to improvements, even if it isn't what you originally had in mind. Learning more about each other, needs, desires, and concerns, should allow you to craft the kind of relationship you both want. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  7. Guest 2918
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    Guest 2918 Active member

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    #7 Guest 2918, Jul 17, 2020
    Thanks so much for the advice! I'm debating whether it's a good idea or not for my KH to join here, lol
     
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