How is it with you in the relationship, is there still togetherness, cuddling. Or is it only designed to serve without physical proximity to the mistress?
We’ve always been like teenagers, through 30 years of marriage. Only been playing with chastity the last two years, if anything it’s amplified our cuddling, touching and kissing, it’s just now the “payoff” doesn’t always include my penis or my orgasm. Before chastity I was more dominant, now she is, and it’s been amazing to change it up. But other than less attention going to my manhood, the other ways of showing affection have grown. I’m a very lucky boy!
Every relationship is different. I'd start by saying "don't believe what you see in porn". And I'd add that sometimes real life is actually a lot crazier than what you see in porn. (Seriously.) But for the most part, relationships are relationships. Two (or how ever many) people who have some bond, and some desire. In my case, I'm married. From the outside, we have a "normal" Brady Bunch marriage. I am the bread-winner, my wife is the house-wife. We sit together. We hold hands. We kiss. I put my arm around her. We have a publicly loving relationship that looks perfect from the outside. I'm always respectful. I try very hard to never interrupt. I'm very supportive of my wife. Look a little closer, and it's a bit weirder. I come home from work, and I clean the house. Not because I'm asked to. I rub her feet while she watches TV or reads. I don't hide it. If she asks or tells me to do something, I do so happily, without delay. Always. She doesn't nag; she would never have to, even if she were that way (which she isn't). And yeah, we cuddle and snuggle a lot. Often like when we were teenagers. And the sex is great. But not enough of it, and less each year it seems. (Unfortunately, my brain keeps track of every time that we have sex, going back for years. Some sort of OCD. I can't turn it off. I've tried.) The sex is now 100% under her control, on her whims, and I'm (mostly) happy that way now, and only ashamed that I'm not 100% happy about it. Oh, and I'm 100% under her control as well, and I'm very happy about that. But you have to write your own story. Tell us a bit about yourself.
Very well said, For us chastity is a way of respecting your partner and trusting her with everything. Even the sexual desires. We are still very intimate, cuddle and hugs etc. Sex is good too. For her Chastity is a form of control, it makes her feel powered. She loves all the attention and me spoiling her. As for me its an 24/7 tease and denial. I love treating her as my queen. it works for us. It brings us closer together. And helps me to understand her better. We switched places in a way. Before i was more dominant in day to day life. She didnt like that part of me. Now she is and she is really starting to like it.
Yeah, same here. I always kept her in my shadow, so to speak. Not on purpose. Not to hold her back. Just naturally ... I'm driven, and it's just a "Lead, follow, or get the hell out of my way" thing (apologies to Lee Iacocca). I always made the decisions, usually without even asking her opinion or telling her in advance. Anyhow, without sharing too many details, I very recently (and in what I thought was a nice, joking way) told her to do something, and she made her displeasure with my arrogance immediately clear, and told me as much, and that my correct response better be "I'm sorry", which I promptly (and sincerely) did. And just experiencing her doing that (she absolutely knew she was in control, and I was in the wrong) was enough to ram me straight back into sub-space, where I still (gladly and lovingly) remain. God, I love her.
We have always been close. Chastity and FLR, has brought us closer. We are far more intimate than ever before. We are happier and more relaxed than ever before. I think we are in the “I wish we had known a long time ago” camp.
It ebs and flows much like anything in normal life, for example, the last week she has been on her period. She withdraws a bit as she gets cramping and feels queezy sometimes, so I back off and give her space whilst still being there if required/requested. Outside of "ground under repair week", when time/opportunity allows we are a lot more affectionate, kissing, cuddling, bum/boob gropes etc. She has said she likes the extra attention when I am locked/denied. She is still on the "its my thing" approach for chastity, entertaining my desires but not taking ownership / control., although I think the removal of expectation of sex acts when she isn't able to enjoy anything herself (e.g. BJ or HJ during her periods) has been well received (we talked about it and I got a "I don't mind" type response which is very different from "I want to).
Ours runs the full spectrum, while I may wear a chastity device overall we have a loving sharing marriage and really are the best of friends. Then there the times we go into our roles, her a domme and me the sub. Other times it may be cuddling and romance, while it can switch to tease, denial, and her pleasure. My favorite is when she sets me free for an hour or the night, its all pleasure.
We're the same. We're very, very much in love still. We love cuddling and other forms of intimacy. There's so much more than orgasms to be had.
There is still very much togetherness, cuddling and intimacy. Every now and again she puts on the total Mistress head and denies me from touching until I've satisfied some task or other challenge. Just part of the dynamic.