Just hit the 3-month mark from initial lockup. My KH wife has possession of the keys and I am released if and when she desires. With that said, we are both still very new and seek to amp up the teasing. Just wondering what y’all find are the most effective or enjoyable teases. My wife is not into masturbating in front of me, or edging and ruining (yet)…so we’re looking for ideas to keep us progressing down this path of chastity. I appreciate any thoughts or ideas you care to share.
I'm lucky in that we both enjoy paddling, flogging. A nipple squeeze randomly during the day. My cage is a birdcage style open one so she likes teasing me where she can reach as well. Her, well our newest thing is bondage with a vibrating prostate plug in. She plays on her phone, hits buttons on the remote and watches me suffer. She gives it a 9.5 out of 10 lol.
Try going for a few weeks where you kiss, snuggle, and fondle each other, but neither of you are allowed to touch either you or their genitals. It will drive you both crazy!
Dont go full steam ahead think of it more like a paddle boat rather than a speed boat , relax and enjoy floating away together
Sometimes I wonder whether my wife got the memo on teasing. She doesn’t do the whole sexual things in a way to frustrate, I get: Wife: “do you want to have sex?” Me: “yes!” Wife: “Well you can’t. Ha!” I don’t know if that’s what I dreamt of when we started in chastity, but it’s the hand I’m dealt. It’s like being back in the playground. Anyway, as I have no advice as every relationship is different and only doing what feels right and true to yourself (or more specifically your wife’s self) will ever be fruitful in the long run… I’d go with @JaySaysYes suggestion, there’s a lot to be said for the simple acts of passion that we often overlook.
Recently, we were asked about our sex life by a doctor in a similarly framed question ("How often do you have sex?"). When we got home my wife said to me, "When [doctor] asked about our sex life I was like, sex? You mean anal?" So to answer the question, my advice would be to lean into what your wife likes, and quietly accept chastity with or without teasing the rest of the time. My wife likes my butt and well... you can connect the dots
What I need more than anything is attention and appreciation, because this chastity thing makes me super needy, and I don't really know how to deal with it well on my own (because I've never felt that way before in my life). So here are the things that help me the most: * She puts her feet in my lap when I'm busy doing something, and I know I'm supposed to rub them. Just the fact that she knows that I have no choice but to drop what I'm doing and pamper her makes me feel appreciated and valuable, and it's a form of attention for me. This might just be my favorite. * She needs to do something, but decides at the last minute that she doesn't want to, so she informs me that I'm going to do whatever it is for her. (Usually this involves me doing something that I have no desire to do.) Again, I feel needed and seen and appreciated by her. Sure, to anyone outside of our relationship it may look like I'm being used by her, but the truth is: I'm being used by her and this so makes my life worth living. * She points out that there's something that I could have done to take care of her but didn't do, and makes a little pouting face or something like that. She's not into tease and denial. She's not into oral sex. She's not into full body massages very often. She doesn't want me to dress up. She doesn't want me to walk around naked. She even likes doing dishes and laundry herself quite often. So there are just a lot of potentially fun or interesting things that are off the table to begin with. My job is to learn to be happy with the attention that I do get, and when necessary to help her understand how to get her way with me when she's not sure how to approach doing so. It was really hard for me at first. So don't be surprised if you struggle with it for a year or two. (Give or take.)
I should probably preface my reason for the thread. Although only 3 months in, our dynamics are similar to what true42 has described. And we both are thoroughly enjoying our foray into chastity as we have always been very vanilla. The question regarding teasing stems from a conversation we had after she’d received a massage and she asked me ‘what can I do for you’. My hope with this thread was to discover some ideas that she might enjoy, versus me giving her the ‘list’ of what I like. I’m hoping that any teasing she chooses to do is predicated on her comfort level and desire to tease. Hence I was interested in learning what folks have found works for them. We’ve got lots to learn…and I’m hoping to do just that by hearing of other’s experiences. Thank you all for your feedback.
I should have added: When she does choose to tease me, she is the absolute best. It completely blows my mind and leaves me a helpless pool of goo within seconds, but then she might go on for 30 minutes, and my molecules fall apart and then my atoms fall apart and then the entire universe falls apart from infinite expansion and my brain can't do brain things any longer. She doesn't think about it. Doesn't concentrate on it. Doesn't even "try" ... she just toys with my body in the most relaxed and (dare I say) indifferent way possible, typically while she's thinking about something completely unrelated. (This is why I consider it teasing: she's not thinking about me, not thinking about sex, and not at all interested in sex. Despite having me climbing the walls and absolutely tied like a bow around her little finger.) Often, in the course of this teasing, she comes to, gets turned on, and we have crazy sex. But just as often, she'll turn over and go to sleep (if it's night) or get up and start her day (if it's morning). Either way, I'm wonderfully happy and content. I don't need sex. I don't need orgasms. I just need to be needed and appreciated. And if not needed, then wanted. And if not wanted, then useful. And if not appreciated, then at least noticed.