Rights versus Priviledges

Certainly no one has 'rights' to someone else's body, but expectations are another thing. For most of us married folks, there is an expectation that our basic sexual needs, drive to procreate, and need for intimacy will be respected and addressed by the other in a positive way.

In my marriage, failing to show interest in these things would be noticed and resented by the other, and we would certainly follow up on it with our partner. This is Relationship 101 stuff.

 

I am trying to cope with chastity for life, per my owner's decision. I don't want this, but I am owned, and I must live with this decision by my owner. I am turned on and suffer all at the same time. I don't know how to resolve this, but I conclude: If I have rights, then I feel like they would exist outside of slavery.

Mostly, I am depressed. No more use of my penis is a difficult hurdle, but at the same time I want to please her by accepting her decision.

Can I just up and leave? No. She has made me a slave by using my sexuality, which deeply admires female power, but it is like how a musician plays an instrument. The instrument is played, and it has no choice. I can't explain it well.

 

I would add: If she stopped exercising her dominance of me, then I would end my submission. I wouldn't submit to zero dominance because my sexuality wouldn't be congruent with the dominance.

I probably will worship her body tonight, then suffer many paddle whackings to my testicles tonight. It will be bliss and suck at the same time. Frankly, I am surprised others don't have as deep and susceptible urgings. Maybe they do, but more of them are on Fetlife than Chastity Mansion.

 

Once again, thanks for your reply. You have indulged me and readers of this thread with what I take to be your candid answers, and I thank you for that. In what follows I am simply reciprocating with challenging candour of my own. I do not wish to upset you, but if I do, I hope that on balance what I say may help you think through your depression. In other words, if I do upset you, I hope the positives outweigh the negatives.....and in that my hope is burnished by the manner in which you have engaged with my questions.

My reaction is to compare your scenario to that of a drug addict. In the interests of gender balance I am thinking of a female addict. She gets reward (highs) but at the same time suffers. She effectively organises her life around keeping her supplier happy, so as fo keep getting rewards. She is depressed about this, but she sees no way out and in fact is pretty sure she doesn’t want a way out.

In your case your drug is your kinky sexuality, and your supplier is your wife. I can see how this is a pretty stable equilibrium for the long term.

Ironically chastity, which is pretty much a physical way of controlling excess male sexuality, has in your context become the instrument by which your wife capitalises on that excess, in a manner that many would say is itself excessive.

 

To build on my analogy of the drug addict, if the supplier stops supplying, the addict no longer seeks to please them.

 

Good analogy. I like the drug, for sure. I wonder how people who are locked in chastity for life without orgasms cope. Because the kink of female power is my drug, but I cannot get off (or high) to it like I used to because of the device, which in itself tortures me because it turns me on.

What is it like for people who have been locked for years? Did they go through a depression period because they lost access to their penis and piv sex?

 

Life is short and unpredictable. Just make sure the sacrifices your are making now are well thought out and appreciated so you don't have any regrets in the future.

 

I cannot say because I have never been locked, let alone for years.

I’d recommend that as well as seeking the views of people here on CM, you seek input from a qualified medical professional relating to your depression. After all, even if you get answers on here from long term lockees that seem promising, there is no guarantee that you will follow the same path.

I also recommend that you research addiction, and in particular sexual addiction. Once again, counselling exists to help you think through and understand your situation better. The medical professional/counsellor will have heard it all before, so don’t worry on that score.

In terms of this thread, you have a clear right to seek the views of such professionals in my view, whatever may be the view of your wife.

 

What would a counselor really do other than listen and take my hard-earned money? I know myself already. I did select a really good life partner who can flex between being dominant over me to just being a best friend. My one problem in life right now is a mixture of feelings over sentenced to lifelong chastity. But it is not a severe depression. I do my job well. I still live, love and laugh.

My wife and I did see a counselor many years ago to help us figure out the best path for our FLR dynamic, and the counselor didn't really say anything that helped us. We just paid her money to talk about what we already communicate.

 

Sounds like you won’t be exercising your right. It also sounds like things aren’t too bad, all things considered, in the stable equilibrium of your FLR. I hear you!

 

I actually got to have an orgasm. She let me out and told me I had better give her an orgasm or she won't use me ever again. I gave her a few. She was going to deny me one, but then she told me I had better cum now or she wasn't going to let me cum. She also said she wants to take my name off the bank account, which really turned me on and I came.

Then I had to vacuum, clean toilets, fix supper, do dishes and fold clothes, while she watched TV. See how it is? She plays and mainly just wants me to obey. I am glad chastity wasn't permanent after all.

I am out of the device, but if I masturbate, chastity will be permanent, she said. She expects my dick to be horny and yearning to fuck; otherwise, she will be suspicious.