Rachels Trip

Thank you to all 3 of you. Ms Linda nice to hear from you again. i hope the frozen tundra is finally thawed out and beautiful once again.

MM's sweetpea
rachel

 

Last Night

Mistress Michelle once again spoiled Her sissy last night but first i need to explain something from last week.

i went for an eye exam last week and had to get a new pair of glasses. When i was picking out my frames i acutally got semi-erect in my penis prison looking at all the womens frames thinking how happy i would make MM and myself if i actually got a pair. i wanted a pair soooo bad. instead i opted for a pair that are more girly but not 100% girly. Now just like me my glasses can go both ways. i picked them up yesterday and couldn't wait to get home, turn on the cam and show them to Mistress, she was pleased with my selection. When she told me so i too was happy knowing that i pleased her even if it was just in some little almost insignificant way. This reminded me just how much my happiness is directly linked to Mistresses happiness. Mistress made me feel like a little rincess:.

On to last night.
When i got home from work i sent Mistress an i im telling her so and waited not so patiently. While waiting i changed into a rachel outfit so Mistress could see how rachel looked in her new glasses, actually i wanted to see too. While i hate just sitting here waiting for Mistress i enjoy it also as it is akin to sittiing at her feet when i am there. When Mistress popped up i told her this and she immediately replied, good you can sit there with the nipple clamps on and wait for me while i shower. :innocent0006:. i put them on, she left. It was then that i thought the last time she did this i had drank a couple beers and i wore them for 2 hours without much problem. Tonight however i was sober and sure there was NO way i could take 2 hours again so before Mistress left i kindly reminded her not to waste water in hopes she would shorten her shower. Yeah right. She left me there and i was scared but i also know Mistress will hurt me but not harm me.

Now i usually don't look at the clock when she has me wear the clamps as it only makes it worse. When the bite got to being painful and Mistress wasn't back yet i couldn't help myself and just had to look to see what time i sent the im telling her i had put them on. :confused0068: WTF it had only been a little over an hour as is normal for me but i was sure it was much longer and still no sign of Mistress. When she finally popped up i told her how happy i was to see her, relieved was more like it.

i don't know how it is for others but i will try to put into words how the clamps feel on me. At first it is a constant pain that last for about 5 minutes. Then they get numb and it is no big deal. This last for about 30 to 45 minutes then the pain returns but it is not a constant pain like in the begining. It is a sharp stabbing pain that last for just a few seconds then there is relief from it for like a minute. After while though the pain last longer and the relief from it shorter. At about an hour or so it is mostly pain with only seconds of relief. i would say it's something like the feelings of a rimba or tens unit on the needles setting that i love so much, NOT.

Back to the story.
Mistress put up an evil grin icon and said i have been sitting here for 20 minutes. i have become comitted to truely submitting to Mistress and was trying my sissy best not to ask to be able to remove them. She knows me better then i know myself and seems to know where my limit is though sometimes i think she goes past it :White_Flag:, lol. She could see me on the cam and told me i was making some awefully ugly faces and that i should smile. i apologized and told her that was not possible at the moment. Mistress was kind enough to remind me how good they would feel in the morning. Her sissy thought i don't care they HURT now and will you just please say i can take them off. Anyway i think it was around an hour and a half when she said i could. i was happy as a pig in shit to hear those words then i remembered what happens when you remove them. Holy burning nipples Batman this is gonna hurt but i did and it did. i mean i couldn't even stand to touch them at first. It was like 1 million volt lightning bolts shooting out my finger tips and into my nipples. When they settled down some slut rachel knocked on the door of my pleasure center and who was i to refuse her admittance. She went crazy with pleasure from the pain. i swear one day she is gonna orgasm from this.

It wasn't long when Mistress said rachel i think you should put them back on.:confused0068: Really Mistress? Yes rachel. \
:anim_37: so i did. Mistress then said rachel you know i have been thinking. UH OH. i think when you are here i will put you in the cage and run the chain of the nipple clamps through it from the outside so you can't move around when they start to really bite you. i am scared shitless at the thought of this as i am somewhat clostrophobic and i deflect some of the pain by rocking back and forth when it gets real bad. That being said i WILL do it. Will i like it? NO NO NO but with my new comitment to truely submit i will not refuse. See a light popped into my head a couple weeks ago if you only do what you like it is not submission but rather just a twisted pleasure that you seek. All i have to keep in mind is Mistress will hurt me not harm me. A sissy in rehab is a rather useless thing to a Mistress.

MM's sweetpea
rachel

 

Mistress thank you soooooooo much for your kind words. i couldn't have done it without YOU. Though it is but one line and a signature i have read it many times already and am sure when i am feeling blue, sad or lonely i will revist this post to get the boost i need.

Mistress Michelles' sissy
sweetpea

 

All the news good and bad

This was written before the previous post but i wasn't sure if i wanted to post it. Then again after having those second thoughts my thread is supposed to be ALL the news good and bad.


Sorry i haven't written in a while especially with all the nice comments i received. i have been feeling a bit down lately as i am considering making some life changing decisions. This makes the words not flow so well for one thing. At 54 i seem to get a new wrinkle every day. This makes me wonder how will i look at 60 and when i turn into a wrinkly old sissy will i still feel like dressing or will my desires wane. Then there is the job front. i went from making 800 a week to making 400 and that is catching up with us financially and i don't feel like i am pulling my share. Then there is the wife not being all that much into rachel, chastity or anything remotely kink related. Not to mention she lost our ONLY key last week. The only way out now is to buy a pair of bolt cutters which is nothing major but it did show me just how much she is not into this. Not having a key to this lock is very arousing in a way as now i am TRULY locked.

MM has been spending time with me but for some reason i didn't feel like telling the world even though this is the only time i am truly happy. MM had me make a paddle a couple weeks ago (yes tiff i used a piece of good hard maple for it) and i cannot tell you how embarrassed i felt the first time she had me give myself a spankin'. Getting a spankin' at someone else's hand is one thing but beating your own butt just because MM said so, well it's just different somehow. It did however show me it's not so much the pain i crave but the submission. i only wish MM was closer so i could see her more. Last week i she had me wear my nipple clamps for 2 hours. i don't know why i could tolerate them so long as normally i am begging her to have them off after an hour at most. Could have had something to do with the 8 Miller Lights i had. my nipples were on fire when i removed them. All day my shirt reminded me of just WHO owns me now. Then for the next 3 days they were so nicely sensitive i couldn't keep my hands off of them. Thank you Mistress. i did find out this week after an hour and a half of wearing them (sober this time) that if you sit still it is all together different then when MM makes you crawl around the house. Just the slight weight of the chain and the jiggling of it put a whole new light on my situation. rachel went shopping this week for some tomato plants. When i got there the place was packed. i sat in my car and called MM to get a confidence boost as i was more nervous than i have been in quite sometime. Then i was off to Lowe's for somethings for the house. randy can walk around Lowe's for an hour and no one speaks to him to ask if he can find everything he is looking for. rachel is a different story, everyone in the store wants to help her. This is not a bad thing as it MAKES me have to talk in public and i am getting much more comfortable with that. Now i even go through the regular checkout lines whenever they are not too long in order to force myself to talk to people. i get some strange looks but no one has ever laughed, well at least not till i was out of the store, or caused me any embarrassment.

i filled out a new fetlist for MM and it is quite different then the one i filled out just one short year ago since MM has introduced me to Her lovely world of dominance, submission, sissy clothes and going out in public as a proper woman. i would never go out around here as rachel before MM gave me the confidence to do so. My weekly shopping trips mean so much to me now and i am glad that i have MM to share them with and that she gave me the push i needed. i feel much better as rachel, like it's just right somehow. i desire to be rachel more now but i still don't know if i am willing to give up all the things the male part of me enjoys. Without sherry being on board it makes this hard as i am not comfortable being dressed in front of her. i can't blame her though she didn't sign up for a life with rachel when we got married.

Reality of life:
As some here know i am trying to start a sissy maid cleaning service in VA. Why in VA instead of PA you might ask. First there is my family here and i don't want to be banished from them. When i mentioned doing this MM was gracious enough to offer me a place to stay so i wouldn't have the added expense of keeping two houses. This is not going well at the time either. The only answers i've had to my ad on craiglist go something like this. Hey i got a 7 inch dick that needs cleaning can you help with that? Or answers from women that want you to go to a pay site for pictures of them and i am getting quite tired of weeding through them. MM says it would be easier if i was IN Virginia and that is true. Then i have thoughts of will her family accept rachel or will rachel have to run and hide in her room every time there is a knock on the door. That is one thing i have to do here that i am trying to get away from. i don't want to be in the same situation there that i am already in here. Then i think about how awful i would feel if just one person in her family wasn't accepting of me and just stopped coming by because of me. This situation would effect more then just MM, rick and myself. Then there is my wife who i don't hate by any stretch of the imagination. There have been problems on this front for many years with me bieng kinky and her being vanilla. i don't want to hurt her either. To me this just seems very selfish somehow but i would like to be happy inside for a couple years of my life and to be able to experience rachel on a full-time basis just to see if that is the key to me being happy.

My apologies to all for this not being my normal type of post but as the title says it IS the good and bad.
MM's sweetpea
rachel

 

.

Goddess Jen that description was hilarious! :haha4:

Looking forward to it myself Mistress Emma.

susie you have always been there and i appreciate that.

Thank you all for your support and friendship. The reason i made this post is so if any newbies happen across it they know it is not always roses but that sometimes there are thorns. If i had been honest with myself when i met sherry instead of thinking i could live without my female/submissive side life would be different today but that is water under the bridge. It is however the reason i tell everyone who inquires should i tell my girlfriend about my kink before we get married my answer is always absolutely you should. The standard saying when i was young was, "well you know sex isn't everything", BULLSHIT. It may not be everything but i can tell you from experience you will feel empty and unfulfilled the rest of your life. If you have struggles in the vanilla side of life you can always reconnect with good sex. There is no sex like make-up sex. If however you have struggles with your sex life what do you do go for a nice dinner to reconnect? Somehow not quite the same.

OK enough of this it is time for Rachel Smith to get back to the news desk at CHASTE-TV where the only thing we let out is the news.

sweetpea
OWNED by Mistress Michelle

 

Last Night

First thank you Cynthia. You know i look up to you with great admiration. Perhaps someday i will be able to pull the trigger.

i im'd Mistress upon my return home from work, then sat waiting patiently for her to reply. She did at about 7:30PM and ask me what time sherry would be home. i said around 10:00. MM then said sounds like 2 hours of being stuffed (plugged) to me. Yes Mistress. i turned on my cam and went for my plug. When i returned she told me she had to take a shower and that i was to stuff myself and wait for her return. Yes Mistress. Upon her return she told me to put my nipple clamps on. Yes Mistress. Feel good rachel? NO Mistress as i was experiencing the burn of first putting them on. We then made small talk about vanilla things for a bit. Then MM told me to put the chain in my mouth. When i did i found i didn't want to sit up too far. i did find out that if you put your glasses on upside down you can still see out your bifocals to read the puter screen. Mistress got a good laugh out of that. Then she said, RACHEL SIT UP AND STRETCH YOUR NIPPLES. As we all know all that is gonna do is tighten the clover clamps but i did it just the same. Then it was more small talk for a bit. i find it quite surprising that MM puts me in these torturous/painful situations then expects me to carry on a conversation like everything is normal. At around 9:30 MM said wouldn't it be funny if sherry came home early and found you like this. Ah NO Mistress she doesn't know the difference between good pain and PAIN like you do. Mistress then told me to remove the nipple clamps. After i did i immediately went to rubbing and pinching my nipples. Reveling in the pain and pleasure of it all. i am turning into a nipple slut. Nipple slut, rimba slut, cock slut, my reputation is fast becoming that of just a slut but i don't mind really as long as MM is the one in the drivers seat. By this time i was suffering from severe leakage and MM reminded me that i am spoiled and i can't argue that point. At around 10:30 i ask MM if i could go to bed. Though i didn't cum from the nipple stimulation i felt drained and sated inside. MM said i could and i should sleep stuffed so i could wake with her in the morning. i thought excuse me Mistress but what happened to 2 hours. i said nothing however but Yes Mistress. i slept good till 2:30 this morning when i woke and my thoughts immediately went to MM and my backside. i wasn't in any pain just a full feeling. The rest of the night was sleep for a couple minutes, then wake for a couple minutes think about MM and drift back to sleep. i got tired of fighting it at 5:30 and gave up and got out of bed.

As i sit here typing this it is 7:10AM and i am waiting not so patiently for MM to get up and give me permission to remove my stuffing. Note to self: MM's clock runs really slow compared to mine as mine passed 2 hours quite a while ago and hers hasn't gotten there yet.

i love you Mistress but please get up soon.

i am sorry to report Mistress didn't get up soon. i lasted until 7:24AM but then nature called. Mistress being the kind and caring person she is when she woke up she said she wasn't disappointed at all. And you all wonder why i am soooo committed to her.

YOUR sweetpea
rachel

 

Thank you for your help Mistress.

YOUR sweetpea
rachel

 

What i learned in two short days.

As you may know i went up to deer camp for 4 days Monday afternoon to Thursday at noon. Mistress Michelle told me before i left on Monday that i could call her before i got out of cell phone range on Monday after that if i called she would not answer but i could leave her a message. There is no cell service after i get to about 20 miles from camp and none at camp either. i do have two friends up there that let me use their puter if i want so i took my laptop along just in case Mistress had a change of heart. Needless to say that didn't happen.

i ask Mistress what i did to deserve this punishment. She simply said i didn't do anything and this is not punishment but rather an exercise. It still felt like punishment to me.:unsure: i begged her before i left not to do this but her mind was made up and it was the way it was to be. i called Mistress when i was almost to the point of losing my cell service. Again begging her not to do this to me. We really didn't talk much, i was trying my best not to cry. Sometimes i just sat there neither of us saying anything but i just didn't want to hang up because i knew when i did i would be w/o Mistress for 2 loooooooooong whole days. When that phone call was over i felt SO lost it was almost unbearable.

Monday night we went to our local watering hole there. Catching up with friends up there kept my mind pretty much off the situation.

Tuesday it was up early to go fishing. On the drive over all i wanted to do was call her. We fish an hour away from camp and there is cell service there. It was 5AM though and i certainly didn't want to ring her and possibly wake her at such an unsuitable hour for Mistress. i was alone in my boat and tried to call from the lake but alas most lakes are surrounded by mountains and not on top of them.Drat no service. On the way back i called Mistress in hopes she would relent and answer her phone. NOT! i did however get to hear her voice on her voice mail greeting. Not what i was hoping for and while i enjoyed it i was saddened at the same time. Tuesday night we stayed at camp watching TV and talking. That helped keep mind my off missing Mistress some but she was never out of my thoughts completely.

Wednesday it rained ALL day. i spent the day taking naps in an effort to keep my mind off Mistress. Wednesday night my DJ friend was playing at the bar down the street and he and his wife ask me to come down and spend my last night w/ them. i got there around 830. i was sitting at the bar with Steph, not saying much just thinking about Mistress and why she felt it necessary to do this to me and how much i missed her. It was around 1130 or so when Steph said to me, you certainly are miserable tonight, hell you've only had 3 beers so far. i said i didn't know you were keeping track. All i was doing was sitting there longing to be in VA. w/ Mistress and rick.

Thursday i left a little after 12 noon and that 20 miles back to civilization and cell service to call Mistress seemed like crossing the Sahara desert in the dry season. The sound of her voice when she answered was as soothing as a five gallon drink of water after my trek across the desert. Cell service on the way home is intermittent all the way home from going up and down mountains but those few minutes i got to spend w/ her before losing service again were very important to me.

So what i learned
i missed Mistress
i missed chatting w/her in the morning
i missed chatting w/her in the evening
i learned sometimes an exercise can feel like punishment even though it's not
i miss wearing my pretty panties, having my toes painted, wearing hose and Mistress did i mention that yet.

MM's sweetpea
rachel

 

NOTE TO self: count even half days from now on.

YOUR sweetpea
rachel

 

First thank you cynthia for the kind and supportive words. You are correct the silence was deafening at times.

Today rachel got to go shopping for what seems to me like a lifetime. It felt so good to be out and about again. Hell it felt good just to be dressed again. i missed it on my 4 days away.

Mistress told me yesterday i was to tell sherry RACHEL was going out today. i was not looking forward to this so i put it off till she was just leaving for work when i calmly said do you want anything else while rachel is out. Her response was no not that i know of and off to work she went. It was like it really didn't matter one lick to her. i went to the dry cleaners right here in town. i just knew there would be someone there i knew but i guess Tuesday is not a big dry cleaner day here. Then it was off to the grocery store for a few things. Sherry wanted some meat from the deli so there was no way i was getting away without talking. It gave me a boost though when it was done. Except the young man that waited on me ask me 4 different times how much cheese i wanted. i don't know if he just wanted to talk to rachel, if he was trying to embarrass me or if he smoked some weed before work. i mean how hard is it to remember 1 Lb. of white american cheese for pity sakes. Any who feeling pretty good i went through the regular check out and the lady was very nice to me. Called me Ma'am and everything. Then there was a little boy and his mother behind me. He squeezed his way around me and my cart for some unknown reason. Most likely he was just bored because he doesn't know yet how much fun shopping can be. Anyway when he squeezed his way back his mother said now stop that i am sure that nice lady doesn't want you bothering her. Fear struck at that moment. i wanted to turn and say it's OK we were all young once but i was so scared to talk for some reason. i am sure she heard me talking to the cashier and i just stood there like i had lock jaw or something. i felt good about being out again but felt like an ass to for not saying something to the other nice lady in line.

MM's sweetpea
rachel