So my wife initially was into chastity when I brought it up and we did it for a while, but she is going through menopause and her sex drive is way down to almost non existent. She told me she didn't think it was fair to me to be locked up if she didn't have any interest and it would put pressure on her if she had the keys. So I tried self locking for a while, but I find no satisfaction from it. The longest I was able to go was 12 days. But, having access to the key ruins the experience. I need to have access to it in case my wife does feel like being intimate so I need to keep it available. Inevitably around the 10 to 12 day mark I break down and unlock to masturbate. I might as well not be locked and try and use self control because the chastity device is just a minor speed bump. Sorry. I just wanted to vent.
Totally understandable. It can be frustrating - i self lock too - but don't disparage what you are capable of doing. Two weeks between climaxes is a good start. I think most men probably masturbate daily or at least several times a week. Also, don't give up on your wife holding keys for you. I'd talk to her more, let her know there is no pressure and that you want that denial. Maybe even frame it as you want to refrain since she doesn't have as much desire as she did before. Good luck and keep sharing.
I found that having my wife leave the keys at her desk at work to be effective (who knows where they really are). That way the denial is real until she makes a positive decision to be sexual.
Why not have her talk to her doctor about hormone replacement therapy? There are so many benefits for the brain, bones , skin, hair and general health including higher energy and libido. The studies in the early 2000’s scared many doctors and women away from it but it was discovered that the studies were seriously flawed due to lumping synthetic and natural hormones together. Bioidentical estrogen like “Estrace”or estradiol work great with few side effects.
Thank you! She has just started taking an estrogen regimen so we will see how that goes. [ QUOTE="Jessica Alexander, post: 359323, member: 41292"]Why not have her talk to her doctor about hormone replacement therapy? There are so many benefits for the brain, bones , skin, hair and general health including higher energy and libido. The studies in the early 2000’s scared many doctors and women away from it but it was discovered that the studies were seriously flawed due to lumping synthetic and natural hormones together. Bioidentical estrogen like “Estrace”or estradiol work great with few side effects.[/QUOTE]
I feel your pain. My wife isn't quite as inattentive as that... Actually, she tries... But when caged, I suddenly feel so needy, and she's the only one who can fill the need, so even a little attention can feel like neglect sometimes. It's always good to reevaluate if something is still working for you.
Update: My wife has been doing hormone treatments and she actually brought up holding the keys again so I have been locked up since Saturday. Yesterday I pulled up behind a car and it was as if the universe was sending me a message. See attachment.
You just gave me a great idea. Dropped my keys into my desk for the weekend. Friday and Saturday nights are my big masturbation nights. Looks like anal is going to be the only way for this self-locker to cum this weekend!