Some take it to higher levels than others. Outside of the bedroom we are equals. I don't walk on eggshells about what I say or do, and she doesn't make everything a command or some sort of D/s thing. I don't mingle our money, purchases, and my dad decisions are mine and final. I tease her and joke around with her all the time... I'm pretty funny, sarcastic, and kind of an ass(in a good way). If I take her razzing a bit too far she might say I'm getting pretty sassy as a warning, or if I'm being obstinate she might say that's enough, but really it's not formal or strict during our daily life. I'm not saying it doesn't permeate into our daily life, it shows up, but it doesn't steal the show. Yesterday was kind of a first. She was going out to get some gardening supplies, she told me she wanted me to take the jugs of laundry soap downstairs. It was a chore to be done. It was given in a semi-mistress manner, and she praised me when she came home. No big deal, was not a lot of work, she appreciated it, but I think disregarding it would have led to some punishment later. She doesn't own a leather outfit, or walk around with a whip, but I think we can both distinguish when dom/sub interaction is happening. We are both pretty new to this dynamic. I have always been sexually submissive but have never been into discipline, or letting someone else have control of any of my actions. She if might add would have been considered quite submissive both in and out of the bedroom before I introduced her to the device. She has found new confidence and a sense of empowerment with not only keyholding, but giving punishment and reward. We are constantly working things out to fine tune. Some things work and we keep, some things don't and go the way of the dinosaurs. Maybe that is why my new thread is titled about her evolution. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing, it can be as laid back or formal as you both want it to be. I've heard of kh's being submissive, in fact I believe I could switch to being dom for an evening and do a pretty good job after being a sub for her. I could never keep it up long term, but before I would not know where to even start.