New keyholder. Not sure if this is the beginning of a journey

Hi,
(I just posted this to a different bit of the forum - I think it was the wrong one, so am reposting here. Please forgive - I'm just getting the hang of this.)

My first post, so please be kind. I am keyholder for my chap (do I call him my pet?) and we've been experimenting with chastity since last autumn. Until then we'd been into very light BDSM and we'd switch being dom or sub between us. Since we've started playing with chastity and tried a couple of cages for him, we've been tending much more towards me being in control. I think neither of us has been very sure about where it's going but it's been fun playing. He's a great guy but I like having the control over him and I think we both enjoy knowing that he can't come unless I let him. The longest we've gone on has been just a few hours. I realise this is nothing compared with others on this site but it's where we are at the moment.
We use it as a sex-toy and I've always undone him when he asks or needs to pee.

Except before Easter we were staying in Manchester and as a kick he wore the cage out to a restaurant. I had the key around my neck. Lovely meal, nice wine, lots of flirting with each other. loved the way his look kept returning to the key. We were on to desserts and he asked me for the key so he could go to the loo. And I don't know what came over me, but I just said no. I said we'd spent time getting a fitting that doesn't spray everywhere (thanks Cherry Keeper!) and told him I'd find it exciting if he went to the loo with it on. I didn't think I actually would find it arousing, more of a power-game, but off he went. And the thing is, while he was in there, I realised I was actually very excited. I hadn't expected my reaction to be like that, but it was quite physical. When he came back he seemed quite subdued.

I asked him afterwards and he said he was still processing. He asked me what I felt and I was honest that it had been a turn on for me. Anyway, we went back to the usual kind of play with it - just for an hour or so at a time. He seemed happy with that but I'm beginning to want more control.

Then last weekend we were playing around before going out to friends. He was locked up and expecting to be released to get ready and again, I just said no and told him that I'd hidden the key (which was true). So we went out to our friends with him in his cage and all evening I mentioned words like lock and cage here and there and felt really excited because I knew he was being reminded. And I made sure to keep topping up his beer, tee hee. When he went to the loo,(twice!) I felt this wonderful powerful feeling.

On our way home, I asked him what he thought. He said that he'd found it embarrassing but really exciting and I told him how I'd felt. I asked if it hurt at all and he said no. Back home, we were kissing as soon as we got inside and we were both horny as hell - much more than usual. We undressed each other and he asked me if I was ready for him. Oh my, was I ready. And I realised that he was now totally expecting me to unlock him. And the fact that he totally expected it made me want kind of do the opposite. So I just said that I wanted him but could we wait until the morning and that I'd find the key then. He looked completely shocked but also I could tell that he liked the idea. I said we should just kiss for now, which took a lot of willpower from me!

In the morning I woke him and unlocked him and did all the things he'd wanted to do the night before and it was lovely. He had to slow down a lot because he didn't want to come too soon, which was really nice for me as I prefer it slower.

We haven't said much since but I sense that he enjoyed it and also enjoyed the fact that I enjoyed it. He said he still wasn't sure but that we should experiment some more. A lot of the ideas on this site feel quite difficult for me and I think would scare him a lot. I'll look for some threads that have ideas for people who just want to play a bit for a few hours at a time, not with the sissy thing but with the tease and denial and the feeling of control (and being out of control, for him).

That's a lot longer post than I was intending! Grateful for thoughts.

Sal

longtallsally

 

Thank you! I've been struck, on my first day here, just how friendly people are. Sal.

 

Thanks - I'm not sure whether that's the vibe for us or not. Not so into the humiliation thing at the moment. But I like the idea of him having to pleasure me, maybe orally, and maybe I could ask him to keep me on the edge. I like the idea of denial going both ways - but with me with the key!

 

That's actually really helpful - thank you. Up to now I've only been thinking about one thing, essentially denying him for a while, or saying no. You (and some of the other posts) have started to me think about asking him for some things. It's a nice thing to think about while he's away this week. The difficulty I have is that my pleasure has always been so bound up with his. I've always got really excited by his excitement, if you know what I mean. So the trick is finding something that he'd like to do but wouldn't to volunteer. Hmmm....

 

That seems like very sound advice indeed. I'm actually finding it quite fun contemplating this and in a very nice way, you've taken some of the stress away. Good words subhub!

 

Thanks. I'm not sure about no 1. I think you're right but I'm trying to work out exactly what kind of control works for us. On no 2, I don't remember saying anything about reddened cheeks! I quite like embarrassment though, you're right. But humiliation - not really. On no3, I'm gradually coming round the the idea of a longer time. I want to be really careful how I suggest it though. On no 4, that is such a sweet thing to say!
Responding to these messages is helping to crystallise my thoughts, but I'm still very unsure! Sal.

 

Thanks -I know from reading messages on here that for a lot of couples, having the man be subservient for things like cooking and washing up and breakfast in bed etc is a really important part of the whole scene. But I'm honestly not at all sure I really want that.. I know that there are aspects of control hat I really do enjoy but I'm not sure what they are yet, and I don't think it's going to be about those things. But I'm not at all sure!! Sal

 

Ah, yes, I see. Now I have to work out what I'd like. Sal.

 

Thanks for the offer - I'd rather avoid private one-to-one messages at the moment as it would feel, bizarrely perhaps, like I was being a bit unfaithful. But thanks for thinking of it. Sal