Hello, I have been married twenty years and we are currently in a modified FLR agreement. I am on the honor system now, but want to be locked. My wife is very vanilla, but loves the attention. Maybe one day....
get yourself a steel cage. skip the CB series. no one really seems to be able to use those long term and they cause smells due to the lack of air flow. https://www.dhgate.com/store/product/new-chastity-belt-male-chastity-device-with/398882710.html affordable and modifiable if you have access to a lathe or dremmel the honor system works for a few but most of us need the constant reminder that its not ours t play with any more. I really need a PA, but my KH is squeamish about piercings. im thinking after she sees how easily i can slip out time and time again she may change her mind as she demands more and more strict control over me.. we will see. im hoping the lori i have ordered is harder to slip out of. if not.... PA is the only way
She thinks the cage is too weird, but she likes th e fact that I don't masturbate anymore. She only allows me to cum inside her. She has started to enjoy teasing me during the week. So I am hopeful one day she will change her mind. I am taking it slow and taking advice from this forum.
Generally, women hate their men masturbating. We did the honor system for almost a year before She caught me wanking. The cage was Her idea and it has evolved to only being used used when we are apart - like when She is at work (I am retired).
Welcome. Take it slow and don't try to force the issue. Reinforce the positive aspects of chastity - the increased attentiveness - and let her know that chastity is your way of honouring her b Good luck to you both.
As she comes to accept service and obedience she may come to accept your need for a deeper level of giving and submission. In my case I gave her the cage as a holiday gift a year-plus into our FLR and honor system play. Welcome to the Mansion.
I sort of jumped the gun in the beginning and ordered a Chinese bird cage without telling her. It came early before I could tell her and she sort of freaked out. We laugh about it now and she is less freaked out but still no chastity cage. I want it badly but she is very vanilla. She is supposed to give me my first ruined orgasm tonight before sex so I can last longer. That will be a big step.
That is what I am hoping it leads to. I was doing it 2 or 3 times a day. I'm much more loving to her now and she has noticed. I have cheated a couple times in the honor thing but she hasn't wanted to punish me. It's very difficult because I need the kinky aspect of it.
I think you have a good chance of being successful in some ways eventually. You could consider proposing baby steps in the form of games that you feel are win-win. Good chance she'd enjoy having you locked to fully motivate you when she may like you to get some neglected chores done? Try to make it lighthearted, fun & easy for her. I've made plent of mistakes so I'm no expert! But we've come a long way. Sharing a couple themes of what's especially hot for you, while keeping it casual, simple, and letting her have some real control too.
Welcome and good luck with the discussions. Be sure to go very slow and listen to her concerns. I wear a cage only to prevent masturbating and to focus on her. Discuss the situation and be sure you listen to her concerns. During our many discussions I learned she had many misconceptions, I did not want sex with her anymore, I want her to wear one and many others. After time discuss buying one and wearing it for short times for her to get used to it. Be careful, my wife now knows the honor system does not work and can tell when I masturbated. She now wants me locked all the time except during sex. Be sure you are ready for that. Good luck.
Welcome to Chastity Mansion. @Design is me its only been a couple days and people are giving you some great ideas to consider to help you with your lockup and your wife’s exceptance of it. As you spend more time exploring the mansion you’ll find this is very common. People who have been where you are now are more than will Ingo to help. Going into Chastity and a long term lockup is a big chance for both of you. It can be an exciting and rewarding time also where both of you benefit from it. Showing your wife how this arrangement is a benefit to her isn’t always easy. I’ve found my greatest success when I do anything and everything for her and to her to please her without requesting anything in return. When I’ve treated my wife the best she’s done things to me to stimulate my kinky side so it’s a Win Win relationship. Your off to a Great start, treat your Wife like the Queen she is and I’m sure everything will fall into place. Giving total control of your pleasures and orgasms to your wife is more difficult than it sounds but it has been very rewarding for me and I Never Want to go back to the way it was before Long Term Lockup Enjoy your Journey
It seems we all had to start somewhere .It's just difficult to be patient. I am trying to not pressure her. I have gotten more used to not having orgasms but once per week. thanks for the advice.
i like the idea of games and baby steps .She is very traditional so anything new is met with skepticism. To her credit she is putting up with me.
It will likely happen in time. My wife is extremely vanilla but has grown to love having me locked. Be sure to consider her needs. My wife loves sex both intercourse and oral and when I cum. I had to prove to her that would continue and even be better. She loves that I am always ready. That was not the case before I was locked so now she sees a benefit. She was also concerned that it was cruel of her to lock me. It took about a year to have her loving the device. I think the ice breaker is when I brought a device home and she had a chance to see it and get used to it slowly and made it a fun game. Good luck!
i hope one day she will come around. I kind of sabotaged myself by ordering a cage online and it arrived early before I could tell her. It sort of put me behind the right ball. S he said that she had trouble holding it in the way to the trash can. We laughed about it a few weeks ago during one of our talks, so that is a big step.
I sabotaged myself on the first discussion also going way to fast. I left it in the drawer for three months before even discussing it again. It was a drawer she opened often so she saw it and looked at many times when I was not around. I did better on the second attempt but still went too fast. It took the third try but was even rocky that time. Go slowly and it will come. When she sees a benefit it may be more than you even want. I have asked for a couple breaks and she does not unlock me unless she is in the mood for sex. That is more than I originally planned.
Welcome. My wife was like yours. Started on the honor system and 5 years later I am locked 24/7 and get a handful of orgasms a year. My wife will not go back to the way it used to be. She has learned to love controlling our sex life and my orgasms. Look around and you will find a few posts explaining how we went from where you are to where we are now. Baby steps getting her used to a little more each time is a good way to proceed. Find my posts and hopefully they will work for you too.