I am just new to the forum. I started to play around with my GF about the idea of chastity and giving her the control over my cock and so far we enjoyed the journey. After I tried two different devices (CB-6000 and another steel based one), which wouldn't fit I decided to go slow for the beginning and give her control over my orgasms or touching myself just for a few days by making the promise and sticking to it by plain old willpower - with the goal of extending the periods of time gradually, also giving her the chance to get to know the fun of exercising control over my sexuality I'll reconsider getting a device if it turns out too hard. I already got some nice inspiration from this forum: https://chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/device-free-chastity.19376/ I found that it helps if I commit myself for a specific period of time, which than can be extended. I also see no issue in taking breaks and then making another commitment. What's important for me is that if I make a commitment, I stick to it. Should I fail to do it, I must confess it to her in a serious and humble way and ask her how we'll handle the situation. To support myself, I'm using a few things that might help: - I'll use a lace that she can tie around my cock; I love the act of "getting locked up" by her and I find it quite sexy; she'll tie it around my cock when I'm not horny, so if I get horny, the lace reminds me of my commitment. - I use a "Time since..." app in my phone that displays the time since I made the commitment, somehow this makes it more visible and measurable and I don't want to break the chain of X days. - And also, I thought it might help to write this journal here to be able to track my experiences over a longer period of time. The first period of denial was a few weeks ago when I was travelling, I committed myself not to cum until we met again, but was allowed to masturbate. This was really a nice experience and often the horniness building up would lead to sexy chat conversations. Right now I committed myself not to touch myself and not to watch porn without asking her first until Sunday, which I feel is quite hard because I'm a bit addicted to femdom porn and it'll take a lot of willpower.
That sounds so familiar to me! I also committed to short periods at first, than I began to ask for an extension every time and the week got almost 100 days, then almost 200 the next time. I'm curious to see, if you will also find that being horny gets more exciting than cumming after some time... I too found, that keeping a journal/blog helps, but most of all, it's my Owner's hypnotic conditioning that gives me the willpower.
So far I love the feeling of the lace around my cock whenever I have a naughty thought (which already come more often and circle around my GF instead of being porn-related), her "locking me up" and prohibiting to touch her toy for yet another day is such a treat - I love having to earn the privilege of playing that game by being a sweet partner for her f.e. by being more active in the household, completing chores and so on. The horniness and also the need to exercise my willpower for her in the short term definitively are part of that game Got some more inspiration from: https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/the-honour-system.23216/ https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/hot-things-your-kh-have-said-to-you.22092/
I find that if I'm regularly teased and denied by my partner, then I have more desire for my partner, less need to view porn, and thus less need to masturbate.
Today was a bit more difficult, at times I felt a side of me coming through saying "this is stupid". Especially when little relationship disputes come up, the turn-on of locking myself up / putting myself under her control falls apart. Well, as the chastity game for us is for the bedroom only, I think this is fine and I want to take this side of myself serious as well. Like, when there is something we need to talk about as equals, it's time to put the playthings aside and meet as equals. I think this more serious part in me knows/learns that there is a lot of fun in playing the "she's controlling my sexuality" game for my more kinky side and is learning to come to peace with that. This game turns me so much on, sometimes over the day, I just think of asking my gf for a sexual favour and I get a raging erection instantly. Very nice. Also, if there is a little dispute in our relationship, usually I have to discuss things through, which takes a lot of time. The orgasm-control game gives me a few more options: it can be a turn-on to just go for her opinion even if I think different because I want to feel the turn-on of being obedient. I mean I wouldn't do this for something that's super-important for me / where I would feel bad later on; but for the little things it's a nice way to save time - instead of having to discuss things through, I can just be obedient and be rewarded by my raging horniness. Or I'm doing household chores by choice and with great fun knowing that it helps my chances when I ask for a sexual favour later. Also, there is the more explicit option to try to exchange "doing things her way" for a sexual favour and that's cool and flirty and a nice starter for kinky sex action This forum and writing about the experience helps a lot as well, thank you all for being so open about chastity and your kinks! Now I have permission to pleasure myself for a few minutes without being allowed to cum. I have a few custom clips without nudity from dominatrixes that motivate me to be more devoted to my GF instead of being selfish and I'm really looking forward to watching one of them and then restraining my cock away again
The last days were a bit of a rollercoaster ride. After not being in touch with my submissive side that much on Saturday on the evening my state switched around and lots of submissive ideas flooded my mind, like being cuckolded and being used as a household slave and having to eat my meal from her feet and so on. It's cool but I know to be careful and not overwhelming her and myself with all these fantasies. I channeled that energy into something practical and completed some displeasing household chores which I wanted to do anyway; I wore panties doing that and my submissive side got rewarded nicely. Also, I made a list of all the things I could do and might want to do, this also helped. The next day we had sex and the current "no masturbation" period ended; I noticed that not masturbating / not watching porn really benefits my personal sex life, it was exceptionally hot sex and we included some kinky/sm elements and I am very motivated to continue chastity on the honour system to improve our sex life, to bring more of my sexual energy into the relationship and not wasting it into jerking of to porn. I was allowed to cum which I really enjoyed, but it put my submissive side more in the background and I didn't ask for an extension of my current "no masturbation without asking" chastity period. Lesson learned: I must do that while still horny. I used this little loop-hole to masturbate a bit today, without using porn, just fantasising about the sex yesterday, so it's fine with my goal, but it's time to go back to being more disciplined so I confessed and committed to having to ask again until next Sunday. Also I need to be careful around that to not fall of the wagon entirely.