long term was never my idea

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by lockit, Jun 12, 2010.

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  1. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    hi i have played with chastity for some time . i have been self locking up to now.
    i never intended this to be a lifestyle 24/7 just some overnight and a day or two here and there.
    however in the last few weeks i am locked all of my time at home with one or two whole days.
    i now have a new mistress who seems to have taken to the idea of keeping me locked for longer periods.
    i have and have never had any intension of 24 /7 chastity .
    now here is where my problem begins i still have possession of the keys .
    i know it is only a matter of time before this changes.
    my mistress is a very intelligent lady and has been researching chastity a lot of that research has been done on here.
    what i would like is members here mistresses in particular to clear something up for me.
    the way i see it most couples live together or have regular contact.
    now when i read a post that there partner / sub /slave/ pet has been locked for three weeks.
    i am assuming this to mean within that three weeks there would be times when he is unlocked.
    what i would like is some examples of lockup periods and the rest periods ie unlocked for a few days or a week in between.
    i am a novice to chastity and long term lock ups scare me half to death.
    some in put from mistress's dealing with a novice would be really helpfut
    well thank you for reading this far and await what i hope to be some favourable replys
     
  2. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    lockit,

    I think you should be less concerned about what other people's definitions are, and spend your effort communicating with your new Mistress. If you're moving down the road to a more committed and long term relationship as a couple, you need to establish your ground rules early and often. What's YOUR long term desire for chastity. What's Hers? If the two are incompatible, then you need to work it out, regardless of what other people do or think.

    Best of luck, and I hope you two find a satisfying middle ground!
    mikecb
     
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  3. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    hi mikecb
    thanks for the reply and yes i hope to have this communication
    i want to please my mistress and i will comply with her wishes.
    my fear is she will set the bar to high taking information from here.so the more information we get hopefully will help us decide what is realistic and what is not.
    i have no intension of trying to top from the bottom so i feel the more unbiased information will help.
    the final decision will be made made by my mistress and how much influence i have is still unclear to me.
    we are new to each other and communication is important. i think this may be a learning curve for both of us.
    i would hate her to think i was unwilling rather than unable.
     
  4. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    i have to ask here, where is Her post? If you are truly intending to follow Her lead, trusting in Her benevolence and the sublime love She has all ready expressed to you in accepting you and agreeing to allow you to submit to Her will, She should make Herself known.

    As to time, most people start with a time period that is one that will provide a precedent of victory. That may be as little as two or three days, the workweek, a week or a fortnight. From there, it is really up to Her to guide you into the frequency that She wants to establish for you, understanding what you have to deal with (pinching, discomfort, nighttime erections and so on) as well as what the human body can adapt to.

    One thing that is recommended is that one pay particular attention to hygiene. This may include a complete shave or waxing, and "washings up" on a regular basis. And it is my understanding that, when washing, waxing or shaving, most boys are restrained from self-touching until that is completed and they are safely locked back up, all ready to continue the period of lockup prescribed.

    So relax. And this is a great opportunity for you to focus on Her needs and not necessarily yours.
     
  5. Jabber43
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    Jabber43 Just Another Member

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    Hi lockit,

    I am/was in a similar situation. About two months ago I met someone on the net who wanted to control me.

    Being mostly dominate I have tried to get a sub to lock me up, but you cannot really sub as a dominate (just like you cannot dominate from the bottom). But this time it was different, as I met a nice woman really into dominating me.

    And just like you, I told her upfront that I am into short-term lockups. First time I allowed her to control when I got unlocked I said up to 6 days, but (also because I got too busy with work), it became 9 days. And except for short unlocking for washing (and sometimes permitted online masturbation, thank you Mistress) I was locked constantly for over a month.

    This got me worried if I was to be kept locked all the time. So (like mikecb suggests) I respectfully told her about my worries, and informed her that if she wanted to keep me locked all the time, our relationship might go down the drain, as this is not what I want.

    It did not help me immediately (she is good at domming), but she said she would consider my request. But after a week or two she allowed me to unlock, under the condition that I do not masturbate without her permission.

    And this is where we are now. She allows me to lock myself up if I feel too horny. But I am not allowed to cum without her explicit permission. She can tell me to lock up and not unlock without her permission, but she has not told me.

    Now I am longing for her to tell me to lock up and not unlock without her permission, even if it is a long lockup...
     
  6. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    sorry i seem to have given the wrong impression with this post i will reply in full in the morning
     
  7. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    hi i talked about communication in my post well i am off to a bad start .
    i posted here before discussing this my mistress. she has never actually ordered lock ups.
    the longer lock ups i have been self locking and extending them in preparation for when she takes the keys.
    my fears of being locked 24/7 i have not sat down with mistress and discussed.
    the idea she will keep me locked longer than i think i can endure come from me and not her.
    i really have jumped the gun with this post my over active imagination getting the better of me.
    i have now spoke to my mistress and apologized for this hasty post
    she has excepted my apology and put some of my fears to rest.
    i trust her to bring me on my journey at the right pace and we will sit down and talk
    however i would still like to here your comments
     
  8. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    hi jabber43
    leaving out this part of your post ( This got me worried if I was to be kept locked all the time. So (like mikecb suggests) I respectfully told her about my worries, and informed her that if she wanted to keep me locked all the time, our relationship might go down the drain ) i think this would be a happy meduim .
     
  9. Kept4her
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    Kept4her Member

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    It is interesting when you said "i have and have never had any intension of 24 /7 chastity ."

    The reason is, I had fantasies of 24/7 but figured with my wife that I would be in chastity for a few days here and there and out more than in. Surprisingly when I gave her the keys just a little while ago I went 9 days right off the bat before being release. She then pointed out that I could "stay out overnight but would be put back in first thing in the morning" which I was. Then the time ticked away and I stayed in till Friday night. This was a complete period with NO UNLOCKS at all. I ended up staying in a total of 27 days. Now I never thought I would be in that long but she has made a comment here and there of times up to 3 months....@! I was released Friday and not back in yet but she made the comment that later tonight or in the morning I will be going back in.

    So yes I can understand the thought pattern of going 24/7 does make you wonder. My mental state has changed a good bit on chastity and when out I want in and when in I am happy as can be.

    I feel the best thing is to talk to your new mistress and discuss your feelings and find what works best for you. Best of luck
     
  10. MistressSpider
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    MistressSpider New member

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  11. lockedokie
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    lockedokie Junior Member

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    Hi,

    First and foremost you need to get the ground rules out there and talk about the expectations from both sides. In other words, very basic communication. When your setting the ground rules you need to remember that you are being the submissive one. Keep it simple and let it build. Chastity for me over the last year has not been more than 14 days. It was more of a game with us. I was patient with her and she has now embraced things fully in the last month. We both agree that I am a better man when locked up as I no longer focus on me. I expect to be locked for the next 3 months while she ensures that I understand she is control. She is loving the attention that I give her. I have handed her 100% control of this home willingly. My wife has a heart of gold and will do better at leading our relationship than I ever did. I know she will give me everything I need both emotionally and physically. It is not my place to question her as she knows what I want vs. need. I send her an email every day that lets her know how I am feeling. I tell her everything I feel and she takes that and does what she wants. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
     
  12. chaste777
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    chaste777 chaste777

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    Don't try this at home, people! LOL!!! :lol: ...

    ...I am not a Mistress, but I am into Permanent Chastity and Permanent Orgasm Denial (having studied the so called health risks and found they are myth, misunderstanding of medical studies and urban legends). I have been practicing enforced chastity since January 2006, on and off, but decided to go permanent in the Autumn of last year.

    Firstly, a good definition of Per­man­ent Chastity and Denial – the state of being kept in chastity and denial in per­petu­ity, with per­mis­sion for release expli­citly and per­man­ently forbidden.

    I wear a male chastity device, 24/7, on a permanent basis. I became a permanent chastity slut last year, after my last ruined orgasm. I decided then that what I really needed wanted was/is permanent chastity; i.e. perpetual orgasm denial and enforced chastity!

    Sex is extremely pleasurable as is orgasm and ejaculation, but what I really love is the feeling of constant sexual frustration and the physical feeling of being locked inside a male chastity device, as well as the finality of permanent male chastity and permanent male orgasm denial.

    As of Friday 4th of June, I am keyholded by Goddess Becca (also known as Miss Becca, Mistress Becca and Mistress Star). Like me, Goddess Becca is also into Permanent Male Chastity and Permanent Male Orgasm Denial. What a sweet, kind and thoughtful lady she is, to permanently deny me so!

    I love the finality of permanent chastity and permanent orgasm denial. If I knew an orgasm was forthcoming, it would make chastity bearable and not as masochistic. Permanent chastity feels more masochistic and therefore more pleasurable to me personally.

    I use the CB-6000 male chastity device, with the clear cage, ring size 3, shortest locking pin and Master Padlock.

    My last full, pleasurable orgasm was in July 2010, one year ago! My last ruined orgasm was in August 2009. Fading memories both!

    Despite long-term denial, I feel physically and emotionally fine.

    I have a bath daily, during which I wash out and clean the tube whilst it is still attached to my body. I use warm water, liquid soap or bubble bath, and cotton buds as sponges.

    I would only remove the device during a medical emergency or hygiene emergency, if the device breaks, if I wish to replace it with a different device, or if I wish to get a piercing. Otherwise, it is staying on me indefinitely.
     
  13. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    Hardly. You can't be forced to wesr the device against your will, so however long you end up wearing it, it will be entirely with your consent and agreement.

    Mike is correct: communication and setting the ground-rules is paramount.

    Sarah.
     
  14. Ms.Linda
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    Ms.Linda No longer a member

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    Sarah has said it all!! I agree with her 100%. And quite frankly, it puzzles Me when I read things like this written by men (subs or sissies) new to chastity. The first rule to this lifestyle is "Safe, Sane and Consensual". In order to have these, communication in of the utmost importance. Remember, the fantasy, however enticing it may be, can be changed by a mere thought....Reality requires negotiation and setting ground rules, mutual respect, and mutual trust.
     
  15. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    Quite, Ms. Linda. When people tell me they have "no choice" and their chastity or slavery is "forced", I encourage them take a female identity and move to Afghanistan or somewhere like that so they can see what real force and coercion are like. There are parts of the world where 13 year old girls are stoned to death for adultery because they've been raped.

    THAT'S what happens when people have no choice and no rights.

    The very fact we live in (reasonably) free societies makes it safe to play these controlling games.

    It's a bit like some women and their "rape fantasies". In the fantasy the man is typically tall, dark, handsome and probably working for the Secret Service if not actually James Bond himself... and he does all the things to her she wants him to do, just how she wants to do them.

    I suspect few women fantasise about being raped at knifepoint by some diseased and stinking drug addict in a filthy alley, and then being beaten within an inch of her life.

    Sarah.
     
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