Locking / being locked during tense times

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Eric Ny, Sep 27, 2022.

Random Thread
  1. Eric Ny
    Offline

    Eric Ny Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2020
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Submissive Sybaritic
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern Europe
    Local Time:
    4:54 AM
    I am wondering how Ladies and their servants handle locking on being locked in period where tensions ioccur n your couple?

    For KH Ladies:
    Is the "holding caged" a deeper layer of the relationship that is reinforced by tensions or rather viewed as a favor you do him, hence, when harmony is being questioned, caging becomes less relevant?

    For caged servants:
    Do you sometimes get so angry, sad or disappointed that you consider no longer wearing a cage for her?
    Or is the cage and wearing it a keystone of the relationship and is the last thing that will be questioned?
     
  2. Tahoesub
    Offline

    Tahoesub Active member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2022
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    57
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Administration
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern California
    Local Time:
    7:54 PM
     
  3. Tahoesub
    Offline

    Tahoesub Active member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2022
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    57
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Administration
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern California
    Local Time:
    7:54 PM
    My wife is my KH, she knows that with any tense situation I think clearer when caged, so if the situation would arise that it was a disagreement between the two of us? I would guess she offers the cage to me and I gladly wear it. I think it’s because the caging and being servant has nothing to do with the disagreement subject that might take place. I am her servant and she is my mistress no matter what other things are going on.
     
    dkid13 and Eric Ny like this.
  4. Madam Darling
    Offline

    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2022
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    1,705
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southwestern United States
    Local Time:
    8:54 PM
    I don’t think about his cage often, in reality. When there is tension in our relationship, it doesn’t even cross my mind. If he says something or does something I don’t like, I’ll bring it up as a reminder that I could always make things more “difficult” for him. But it isn’t always in my head like I know it is for him.

    In the beginning, anytime we had tension, he would tell me he’d like out because he wasn’t really in the mood anymore. And I’d let him out, then he’d really pout for a couple of days. Once I started telling him that he’s wearing that for me, not him, he started to understand.

    Would you tell your wife you’d like to stop wearing your wedding band for a while because tension around the house has made you “not in the mood?” Same concept.
     
  5. littleguy3
    Offline

    littleguy3 Long term member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2022
    Messages:
    615
    Likes Received:
    765
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Semi-Retired; gardener & child caregiver
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA - Virginia
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    Before the cage, I could always go off "in the corner" and play with myself and enjoy an orgasm if I wasn't happy with her. And I often did being just fine with sleeping on the sofa. Now, I'm compelled to resolve differences immediately.

    And I'm not allowed to sleep outside our bed. I don't want to because there is no chance of pleasing myself without her and that would only further postpone my next release. The real physical pleasure now only comes from contact with her: cuddling, spooning, and teasing. I would crave this even if I was no longer offered release.

    I've learned that the reward center of the brain is not the part that manages rational thought and that this part of the brain can flood the rational, frontal lobe overwhelming it. This is why addicts can't stop themselves. This cage has rewired my brain to match the commitment I made when I spoke my vows to her on our wedding day. She also has come to realize that holding the key, teasing and denying me regularly is producing the behaviors in me that make her happiest and bring her the most pleasure.

    Could we accomplish this without chastity? Possibly, but not likely. Even if i could stop from touching myself whenever I got aroused, I would lose control during love making and teasing from the unrestrained physical stimulation to my penis. Then everything would start to fall apart like a house of cards and our relationship would go back to what it was before.

    For us, the spiritual component in our lives really drives our desire to do the right thing and strive to be selfless. When we've been at our strongest spiritually as a couple, we've been the most satisfied in our marriage. Because chastity has helped me be pure sexually, the spiritual aspect has thrived and our marital satisfaction has never been better.

    We are now 8 months into this chastity journey without any tension to trigger a discussion, desire or even a thought of removing the cage. I can't imagine the circumstances that will change that. It's really cool that we've reached a place where we are both so compelled to resolve any hard/hurt feelings so quickly because neither of us wants to suffer the consequences.

    I look forward to reading other couple's experiences on this thread to see how they are different or similar to our experience.
     
    Wifessub, true42, Femunk and 4 others like this.
  6. IB-Chaste
    Offline

    IB-Chaste Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2022
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    1,125
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:54 AM
    I can confirm that since we went to 24/7 we don’t really have disputes. If she’s down or snappy I’m more considerate to the reasons behind it rather than concerning myself with how it’s making me feel.
    As I’m not reaching continuously for my own sexual pleasure as a way of making myself feel better, when I’m down or upset I’m much more likely to talk to her about this now.
    We don’t really disagree with anything in our lives as she basically runs it and I accept that.
    I liken our relationship to working under multiple bosses… or worse, part time bosses on a job share. It never seems to work. People are pulled form pillar to post. Our relationship has worked better since we just went to one controlling party.
    That isn’t to say I would be concerned with voicing my opinion, but I haven’t needed to. As with any good boss she considers the needs of those below her during decision making.
    I don’t actually remember discussing having a FLR it last just sort of happened as a consequence of chastity.
     
  7. Her Beloved
    Offline

    Her Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2022
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    I am not permanently locked. A couple of months ago my wife and I were having a multi-day fight (one of those where I shut down and stop talking). About 36 hours into it she said "okay, I'm going to lock you up." Only a few hours after the lock had clicked shut, I had worked out the problem and came to her ready to make up. For me, the cage brings clarity, and now my wife knows it is a tool she can use to help us both.
     
  8. IB-Chaste
    Offline

    IB-Chaste Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2022
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    1,125
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:54 AM
    Reading between the lines I’d say by locking you up she was already over the argument and was giving you something you wanted. An olive branch. Maybe, it took you a little longer…
     
    Eric Ny likes this.
  9. Her Beloved
    Offline

    Her Beloved Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2022
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    She wanted resolution. I was still mad. I was not feeling kinky or attracted or anything having to do with chastity. But when the lock clicked, that all began to change. I think if she was offering me anything it was a way home.
     
  10. captivatedbyher
    Offline

    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2018
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    206
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Farmer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern NY
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    Same here! Before the cage I had a I don't need you attitude, I could take care of things myself and punish her. However, I don't think the magic is in the cage, but in the mindset!

    I have yet to have a "period of tension" since I put the cage on, but it has only been on for 9 months.
     
  11. Giles_English
    Offline

    Giles_English Chaste slave

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,509
    Likes Received:
    1,548
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Slave
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:54 AM
    I think Xena is pretty much the same as this. Being caged has never been an issue during our rare arguements.
     
  12. captivatedbyher
    Offline

    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2018
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    206
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Farmer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern NY
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    I must correct myself, we did have a period of tension months ago, it was old tension. But even old tension is getting healed in part to my new chaste mindset.
     
    littleguy3 likes this.
  13. Just_Jake
    Offline

    Just_Jake Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2021
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    561
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Upstate New York
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    I will have to agree with many of the above... since it became 24/7 our arguments or disagreements have lessened dramatically.
     
    true42, Eric Ny, Rectrix and 2 others like this.
  14. ChasteCel
    Offline

    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

    Joined:
    May 5, 2017
    Messages:
    496
    Likes Received:
    726
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    It makes no difference. Similar to some of the above, I'm in my cage always unless she lets me out, which is 100% depending on if she's in the mood. Us arguing just makes it less likely for her to be so and thus cage stays on.
     
  15. Sunae
    Offline

    Sunae Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2022
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    99
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    4:54 AM
    I might be not the Ideal Person to answer, cause I miss the practical Experience.
    But I have a Oppinion on it anyway, so like why not?
    I think it sould be just part of our Routine, if I fine the right he, or she to own me.
    Ultimatically theres nothing silly, or embarassing to a Kink. So why putting it suddenly into Question if theres Trouble? Like someone else said, your not stopping doing Housework or talking to each other, so why stop Castity?
     
    Tahoesub likes this.
  16. Jay Sub
    Offline

    Jay Sub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2022
    Messages:
    484
    Likes Received:
    425
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England - South-East
    Local Time:
    3:54 AM
    There is sometimes tension and stress from both of us. Mostly resolved much quicker than BC. Life gets in the way and teenagers, college, school, University, work have their toll. We once had a long falling out, about a year in to our chastity lifestyle and I was uncaged for a couple of months. Before that we had a few towel in moments. Since then, it never comes up in an argument. I used to self sooth after a fight BC, but that isn't an option now.
     
    Eric Ny likes this.
  17. Eric Ny
    Offline

    Eric Ny Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2020
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Submissive Sybaritic
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern Europe
    Local Time:
    4:54 AM
    this sounds flegmatic, disciplined and very obedient on your end. Makes a lot of sense although sometimes (negative) feelings Are difficult to combine with common sense and long term view. Thx for your input.
     
  18. Eric Ny
    Offline

    Eric Ny Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2020
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Submissive Sybaritic
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern Europe
    Local Time:
    4:54 AM
    many thanks for phrasing your input as only Lady so far. it is great to read that caging become the new „wedding band“! Happy couple!
     
  19. Eric Ny
    Offline

    Eric Ny Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2020
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Submissive Sybaritic
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern Europe
    Local Time:
    4:54 AM
    Many thanks for your input „litlleguy3“. I really like the combination of learning / wisdom and search for spirituality in what you wrote!
     
    littleguy3 likes this.
  20. Eric Ny
    Offline

    Eric Ny Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2020
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Submissive Sybaritic
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern Europe
    Local Time:
    4:54 AM
    this sounds fantastic!
     
  21. Xileh
    Offline

    Xileh Happily Serving

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2018
    Messages:
    1,125
    Likes Received:
    2,136
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    7:54 PM
    It depends on the tension.

    If it is external, and really significant, she might unlock me and suspend our FLR temporarily and we fall back into our successful partnership. This is rare. It is also understood.

    If it is internal, between us, this is even more rare. Most of the issues we may have disagreed upon in the past, are no longer issues. Unlocking for this has never occurred.
     
    Eric Ny likes this.
  22. cogman
    Online

    cogman Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2010
    Messages:
    649
    Likes Received:
    1,115
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business owner
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia - Sydney
    Local Time:
    1:54 PM
    When there is tension between us, I simply hate being locked. If it is external tension and my partner has a lot of this then I try and be very understanding.

    While I can not get out of it, if I happen to have access to her wand or other device its then there is a chance ill ease my own tension if i am desperate rather than blow up which probably wouldn't be good for either of us.

    If its tension where I feel I have done something wrong Ill just bear the punishment, id rather the paddle though.

    Alas right now her wands are locked in in a tool box and the key with my cage key. Even the massage gun is flat. So I hope we don't have a disagreement! Asking out would be very bad.
     
    Eric Ny likes this.
  23. Headtrip
    Offline

    Headtrip Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    705
    Likes Received:
    1,482
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest USA
    Local Time:
    10:54 PM
    She gave me the keys in the middle of an argument once, and left to spend the night with her son. I wanted to unlock so badly. I was angry (I still think she was wrong, too), but something came over me (all of a sudden it felt like MY weakness, not hers, and I despite my anger I couldnt hurt hrr like that) so I didnt unlock.

    When she came back, and we hadnt even made up, I pointed out that I couldnt bring myself to unlock. She said "good, because that would have told me that you really dont love me, beyond what we are arguing about". We quickly made up and both agreed the cage should only ever come off for her pleasure or relevant medical proceedures and NEVER an argument. She has told me many times since that it is much more important to her than the ring on my finger.

    Keep in mind that that the cage was her idea, which probably explains her resolve. Still think a smart woman should leave the cage on and let her man soften up for some days, regardless of who's fettish it was.
     
    Eric Ny, ugams, bsteve and 2 others like this.
  24. ChasteHubby2015
    Offline

    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2015
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    806
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    9:54 PM
    Curious how she handled your initial hesitation, reluctance, or perhaps even resistance to her order? Was she insistent? Did she threaten you with punishment? I’ve always felt that true “enforced” male chastity comes when the lady desires it even more so than the man.
     
  25. ChasteHubby2015
    Offline

    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2015
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    806
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    9:54 PM
    That’s so romantic! I admire her resolve. I’m curious to learn more about how and why she wanted to put you in chastity to begin with and how she was able to eventually get you locked up.
     
    Sunae likes this.

Users found this page by searching for:

  1. wearing chastity cage in college www.chastitymansion.com

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice