Having spent a long time away from my blogger journal I thought I might try again on this site, mainly because people here often have some helpful insights and I never really got a lot of feedback on my old blog. (here if you are interested) Well nothing really has happened since the last time I wrote anything. Things became stagnant as they tend to do and we tried looking for another person to bring into the mix to try to spice things up again. Then Wrath of the Lich King got released so Helene started playing that non stop and stupidly I reopened my old account and got sucked back in. Anyway cut to three months later and this saturday we are inviting our new part time subbie to play for the first time. My cage is firmly back on and so my excitement levels are quite high. I'll probably write about how it went at some point next week. Today was our first real foray back into the world of D/s. Well I say we but really it was just me. Helene was at work all day and in that time I was to make the house a bit more presentable for saturday. It was a nice feeling digging out my old sissy maid uniform and butt plug (essential working equipment of course). It took me about five hours to get everything ready (the house not the uniform) but worth it in the end. Here is a question though. Where we have always fallen down in the past is when I start to become a little disillusioned by the whole thing. It always starts the same; I'll dutifully lock myself up and commit whole heatedly to serving Helene. But after a few weeks I start to feel that it is all too one way. There is not enough Dom coming back to me to equalize my sub. I feel as though there is no real point in doing anything for her, since if I do it well, poorly or even not at all the result will always be the same - nothing will happen. It can feel as though I am doing it just for myself to meet my own fetish for service. So this is a question mainly for people who do this at home with the partners that they live with full time: Should I expect more or am I whining too much? Should a Dom be expected to at least show a little enthusiasm in actually dominating the sub or is it acceptable that the sub should just get on with it and accept his lot in life? I would occasionally receive a spanking if she was in the right mood, maybe 2 or 3 times a month. But anything more intimate like strap-on play or restraints etc I would generally have to ask for and rarely would this offer by taken up. This all makes being in chastity very difficult as, for me at least, the motivation to remain chaste comes from the domination I receive. When left to my own devices the will to carry on always diminishes over time and we end up abandoning the whole thing for a few months. Does this story sound similar to anybody? What can we do? Maybe after saturday things will change for the better. It might be a fresh perspective for to work with another sub, and I know for sure that on days when we have people over, there will always be play.