Intro!

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by MsCynic, Sep 12, 2010.

  1. MsCynic
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    MsCynic New member

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    Hello - I wanted to pop in and introduce myself. So in my pursuit of self actualization I've explored many facets of my personality. The most recent revelation was learning I'm more Domme than sub. It's taken a while to get used to and somedays I still just shake my head and can't believe it LOL. I spent more than a decade as a sub in a 24/7 relationship (I was married). Anywho so I met this sub who introduced me to chastity and it's as if the heavens shone down upon the earth! Ok while it wasn't like that at first I am nearly that euphoric about it now. So he's kept locked at my will and is about to embark on a year out of the country and will still be under my control. I'm here in hopes of talking to other women for support and ideas etc.

    Best Wishes in all of your endeavors
     
  2. ms-laurel
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    ms-laurel Junior Member

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    I so support what you are saying. I wasn't really in a relationship as a sub but I was dominant personality trapped in what I thought was a submissive male dominated world...what a revelation to find a submissive man, chastity and all of this....and to embrace and grow the true me is so exciting!!! It really thrills me so much. Welcome...I love this site and have learned alot and made quite a few friends so far. This is just a wonderful experience and what I've needed my entire life. I'm so happy for you because I know how great I feel............. :D Again, welcome to the Mansion.
     
  3. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    Welcome :)

    mikecb
     
  4. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I'm curious and if this is too personal? When you were married were you a "sub" or was it just that all "Vanilla" Marriages tend to have a more dominant male and submissive wife? I'm also really curious (Sorry) what makes male chastity so great for you? Is it the way he acts or the "kink" part of it? Or?
     
  5. MsCynic
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    MsCynic New member

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    I'll try to make this understandable without being overly verbose. So when I met my ex I knew we both had other than vanilla interests. Although I'd heard of BDSM all I knew about it were the stereotypes. So we existed in this relationship that had strict roles without titles. We had our lists of done will do again, curious about and want to try, and our not gonna happen. I thought all couples did this. He had clear expectations of how the house should be kept. Menus were planned etc. He controlled my hair style/clothing/body size etc. Additionally I thought our sex life was fantastic - in ten years I swear we never ran out of new things somehow despite going at it like rabbits. Now were weren't really in a BDSM relationship because I really wasn't aware of it but as you can see the overtones were there. It was post divorce I realized that something was different about the vanilla world and I didn't like it. It was foreign. I have had very little experience with vanilla sex let alone relationships. So then in an internet book club we'd read a book that had BDSM in it - in those discussions with out women I learned how different my previous experiences were and what I really didn't like within my new life. One of the women in that group is a Domme and she led me to sites/books etc that would give me more insight. From there I've just been evolving and growing and lately spreading my wings. The chastity so far is in the control - I'm kinda power tripping and lord help him he encourages it! Since we're in a LDR I don't get many benefits of the way he acts or at least I can't exactly experience it but I can only imagine how fantastic that would be.


    Wow that was wordy - and BTW nothing bothers me ask away!


     
  6. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I think that your lists of done will do again etc are a good idea. We are sort of? A combination of conventional and non conventional. We are not (at all) a 1 sex position type but we have not really done anything thats BDSM. I admit that my interest in things like spanking, handcuffs, being tied up etc are pretty near zero. The sub dom stuff? I guess I asked because I wonder if the thought is that a Vanilla Marriage really is a Male Dom / Female Sub thing to most people? I think in some ways at least in a small way it is. I'm thinking the power tripping on male chastity might be a good thing for a lot of couples. Clearly you think its a good thing for you and lets you spread your wings. I believe I understand why he encourages you. What he might want is your wings spread so that you can explore what makes you happy. I know your not married but "happy wife = happy husband" anyway all spreading is ( I think) an aspect that is pretty amazing. How that would work for a couple (or at least the male!) who are not keen on the advanced stuff? That really interests me.

    I'm curious where you think this will go and how far you want to go with it? I'm kind of on the outside looking in.
     
  7. MsCynic
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    MsCynic New member

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    I believe the death of marriage as an institution in America is the lack of clearly defined roles. Someone needs to wear the pants and run the show! The other party needs to be held accountable. Period. Doesn't matter which one does what. However that being said those roles don't need to be 100%. IT's all about communication! The best part of this world is that it forces the communication - even if its awkward and uncomfortable at first.


    What I think this would do for your relationship, well I'm no expert but since I assume you're mostly vanilla with a hint of spice is actually increase your sexual encounter frequency. Locking away a man's junk = increased sexual appetite for women. The reason you're going to be much more agreeable. You're going to be much more attentive. By doing those things you'll bring that spark back. By putting her first she's going to want you more. It's a full circle. It's amazing what a simple device can do to a man's mindset.


    As far as our relationship. Right now I'm learning to take things a day at a time. He's very far away and will be so for a year. So there's a lot of time spent in the clouds and so far too much of me not only keeping us grounded buy often I tunnel and start digging for China! He's a massochist and I'm revealing in my inner sadist. She's never been allowed to come out and play before so I'm gonna have to learn to leash her in! What I look forward to the most? Living out every fantasy that I've been told would never happen! ;)


     
  8. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I agree with you. I think the roles as we "assume" them can also be a problem. Hopefully its a good thing to be willing to do this and be more agreeable and more attentive. Thats actually why this became more of an interest as of late. I totally buy that this would change a man's mindset as well. *At least mine.

    I do hope that your prediction is true. I'm so NOT interested in exploring how long male orgasm can be avoided.
     
  9. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Welcome to the Mansion and thank you for sharing your journey so far.

    A lot of it echos my own. For what it's worth, there's nothing wrong with the odd bit of switching.

    Sometimes I enjoy being "reminded" of how great it is to be on the receiving end of the pain, I think it helps "build" a better Domme too.

    Stick around, the ladies here will love you.
     
  10. MsCynic
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    MsCynic New member

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    Thank you for the kind welcome! I adore your bit about the grapes ! I must say this site has been very fun to explore and everyone has been just lovely thus far!

    As far as switching - no one should Dom/Domme without first subbing IMO. One should learn the ropes before they submit others to them ;) For me switching now reminds me that yep he can still turn me into a pretzel and have his way because he's physically stronger - but who holds the keys??? Hehe
     
  11. Spike's Bitch
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    Spike's Bitch Member

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  12. GhostUser
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    GhostUser New member

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    This makes me wonder, and I realize this is probably not the most ideal forum to ask this question, but what do you suppose is the analogous situation for a woman who desired to be controlled? Is there a simple female equivalent to "locking away a man's junk" that makes the female half of the relationship more agreeable and more attentive?

    This is purely idle curiosity, and I'm not talking about non-consensuality here, but something within a relationship where the consensual roles are already established and the lady wishes to be the more submissive partner.

    Thank you.
    Ghost
     
  13. MsCynic
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    MsCynic New member

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    Honestly I can't think of any. Even a female in a chastity belt isn't the same. We don't grab our crotches in the middle of the night the way you boys check to make sure they're still there! We don't have the same motivation - we're just not wired that way. I suppose the way to get us more agreeable is a whole yin/yang give us more and we'll give back more. It's all about finding the people who want to give what you need and will take what you have to give I suppose!


    Altho there are many woman highly motivated by extrinsic baubles! But it won't hardwire their brains differently (IMO those women rarely have many braincells to alter)


    Cyn
     
  14. ladylionzsissy
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    ladylionzsissy male chastity sissymaid

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    "I believe the death of marriage as an institution in America is the lack of clearly defined roles. Someone needs to wear the pants and run the show! The other party needs to be held accountable. Period. Doesn't matter which one does what. However that being said those roles don't need to be 100%. IT's all about communication! The best part of this world is that it forces the communication - even if its awkward and uncomfortable at first."

    my exact sentiments, MsCynic. it's so nice to see You here on chastitymansion, the best site in the world! welcome! ::curtsies::
     
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