We are hoping to provide an information section for new members who are new to chastity. What do you think are the 3 most important pieces of information we could give to a newbie? What have you found most useful from this site? We have made a few changes to the site, the servers and back end are next to be done. Is there anything else you think would improve the site greatly for members?
L-u-c-y, As someone that is new to the idea of being locked in chastity I think the following pieces of information is important: 1. Sizing recommendations as not all devices are created equal. To further this issue the health concerns that go along with improper fit of a device, the signs the device is the wrong size. 2. Hygiene tips no one wants to smell bad or have nastiness growing and causing harm to the wearer. 3. Advice on how to lead up to long term wear
My 3 points ... 1. Both of you must want to do it. 2. Talk to each other and decide on your personal rules. 3. It's not a competition. The "right way" is what suits you. What I have found most useful is being able to talk to other key holders and compare notes. One thing that would be helpful is a non PayPal donation system as I find PayPal impossible to use. Don't know if that's a starter though. Jane X
New keyholder information: Why did he ask me to do this? I’m ok with doing this but I don’t want to go without, how do I keep myself happy? If he likes this does he not like sex with me? Certain things he told me he likes I am not fond of, do I really need to do them? Does anyone tell their friends about this? How long until he is ready to release usually? Do I make a schedule or keep him guessing? Does he need to be locked up all the time or just when I’m not there? Some of the things he has talked about are making me question his sexuality, do straight guys like this stuff or is my husband gay? I am sure there are tons more, but I think a section that would give new keyholders and wives a lil relief and understanding of what they were just asked to get into and be might alleviate some fears.
Communicate was and is one of our most important in our relationship as a KH and a locked Sissy(Man). Talk about your do and don'ts, what is the best chastity device for you, There’s no right or wrong,if it is right for you, then it is ok. There are many more,so talk to each other,as i say before,that's the most important
please define your question further ... you stated "3 most important pieces of information we could give to a newbie" ... which can pertain BOTH to the chastity lifestyle and to navigating / using / being a member of the forum ... you next statement then seems to talk about the lifestyle "What have you found most useful from this site?" Without offering answers to either side of the question, I would say both are VERY important. Every forum I have belonged to has certain expectations of its members and the way they interact (more than the usual "be nice or get booted") ... if I had to take a stab in the dark I would say that here it is ... no kink is too kinky, but that a certain respect is to be given because there are both KH and chaste here, while the chaste may want to flaunt their kink the KH'ers may not care to see it so please make an effort to post in the appropriate areas. (this leads to an environment that is a bit more "vanilla / KH / Women " friendly). This statement should be "agreed to" (you know a check box that no one ever reads and just check) when a member signs up so that they are aware of the expected culture of the forum before ever being able to post. I think that a good WIKI can really help the newbie to any new endeavor, so personally I would think that a WIKI section would be very important ... it can be added to by the members ... it can be kept up to date as new devices appear ... and MOST importantly instead of having the same thread over and over there is now a Reference section / library to refer to.
That orgasm denial doesn't actually require a chastity device at all. Comfort problem solved. It brings with it a number of other issues, including a few psychological hurdles. However, benefits are enormous. Spiritual even. Perhaps it's not a subject that is pertinent to this site. The major area of interest has always been about devices but hopefully there's enough sub-group participation to explore the benefits and difficulties of committing oneself to device-free long term retention.
There may be a way already, but I couldn't find it! If new/prospective key holders could find potential existing contact KH's to have a private conversation with, without having to shout "help" in public forums they may be more inclined to ask questions.
Just on this point, I am happy to message new/prospective keyholders if they want to ask some questions or just chat in general.
I'm replying to this post at Lucy's suggestion. I think it's really more appropriate for the Sitewise section re announcements and information and maybe a Mod can move it there in due course. I had wanted to reply to a post there, but it is locked and I am unable to post a new thread there myself. I have been a Member for over 9 years, and have also served two terms as a Mod., so I have seen things from a number of angles over the years. I hope it will be accepted as in the constructive spirit in which it is intended. This therefore is a general post covering a number of aspects of CM: Board structure and current reorgansiation included; and I hasten to add that these are my personal views alone, though I had canvassed some of them before in various ways (including via PMs) from time to time. However with the new Admin in place and the new server and powers also it seems to me a good time to put them all together comprehensively in one place. They are not intended to cause discord, but to be constructive proposals with which others may or may not agree. I shall be grateful and interested to know what others think about them, and generally. 1. The Sitewise section itself. I think the new format is fine, but as it is at least partly for Members to make suggestions I think that Members should be able to do so and initiate threads on it. Members have been able to do so in the past, and many have, and I see no reason why this cannot be so now and in the future. 2.The new section names. I have to say that on the whole I think these are helpful and more informative than the former names (The Foyer, The Tower etc.). But I should also like to see the old names retained (at least in brackets) as (1) they are part of the 'ambience' of this site being a Mansion and, more important (2) they provide a reference point and aid to searching for back posts/threads etc. 3.The Bar. I like this as it is, and would like it continued for general off-topic discussions. But I have a caveat. Not long ago a Member started a new thread relating to pot (cannabis) which Lucy originally deleted but was since reinstated, though locked. I think it should be clear that The Bar is not really suitable for controversial issues which are a matter for long debate and better discussed elsewhere. The same applies to some other subjects, e.g. religion and politics. There may well be others. Obviously there will be borderline cases and when these arise I'd suggest the post be locked pro tem (preferably with a PM from a Mod to the poster) while the matter is considered by the Mods or more widely as a whole. 4. Seeking and soliciting section. There is a rule on this tht Members must not post there till after making 10+ posts elsewhere. I agree. However it has not properly been enforced nor monitored and it is very time-consuming for a Mod to check each one to see if this rule is broken or not. With the new server and functions I should have thought this could now become automatic, so that the software will not permit a Member to view or post on this section without rhe requisite 10+ posts. I am not a technical expert but I'm sure an algorithm could be incorporated. Also there has been the vexed question of 'wish lists'. This site is not (and I hope never will be) for those seeking to use it for financial gain, but these wish lists have been very much a grey area. Personally, I'd want them not allowed; but if others don't agree, then at least very limited in scope. What do others think? 5. Pix. In the past the number and type of these has got badly out of hand, especially regarding captioned pix. Apart from anything else, they can occupy a vast amount of space; so not long ago it was decided that all new pix needed Mod approval. Fine, as far as it goes; but when a Mod sees such a pic it is not obvious to the Mod how many pix the Member is allowed nor whether the number is exceeded. I think this should be readily apparent both to the Mod approving it and on the Member's details generally. Jens has already indicated a new limit for the future, and is to do a major trawl here at the end of March, I recall, and something like this would make things a lot easier for everybody. 6. Deletion and editing of posts. This has been a highly controversial issue in the past, now hopefully largely ancient history. Time was backalong when there were 'Perks' members who could do this retrospectively, and there have also been Mods (none of the current ones I hasten to add!) who have also done this retrospectively, sometimes quite wholesale and ruining or distorting a thread in the process. I think this practice should be an absolute no-no. Jules has recently increased the time limit to 5 minutes for Members to edit their own posts for typos etc., a good change and is probably about right IMO, though may need review in the light of experience. 7. Deletion of Membership and name changes. Occasionally there have been requests from Members to have their accounts deleted. The problem with this is that it can distort or delete threads on which they have posted, to the detriment of other Members who have posted also. I therefore think it should be made abundantly clear, especially to new Members, that as this is a Legacy site this will not be allowed. It is perfectly possible for Member to opt to become inactive and/or delete things from their profiles, and it us now much easier for them to change their names here (e.g. to Sue de Nymme or whatever) so as to become anonymous to all intents and purposes to any viewer. 8. The Secret Garden. This Forum appears to have vanished, and I can't see it under any other name. I accept that fairly few have used it, but not none, and I think it should be reinstated. I know it's a very minority interest, but CM has always catered for it and IMO should continue to do so. Maybe it's just in limbo at the moment amid all the other restructuring and will reappear in due course. I hope so. 9. New Forums. Sme time ago I suggested a new Forum for and visible to F KHs only, nd where they can discuss aspects with each other as a group and confidentially. Chastityforums.com ( a site which covers issues similar to CM but nowhere near as popular or good otherwise) has such a one to which F KH members can apply. It works quite well, though has very limited numbers. I (and other Members including some also on CM) have done so. I raised this woth Jens months ago, and he appeared to like it, but nothing happened. More recently another Member (Mascara^Snake) told me there was such a forum already, but I have never been able to find it, not even when being a Mod. So if it does exist it must be pretty much invisible! If introduced I think it should only be available to F KH members and even then only after being Members for a substantial time and/or number of postings so each application can be viewed individually, Best wishes to all, Joro.
I have never agreed with forums (legacy or not) that delete / remove information leaving a gap in the thread ... posts should only ever be XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxx 'ed out ... leaving as much of the post as possible and replacing what needed to be removed with XXXXXXXXXX or ReMoVeD ReMoVeD ReMoVeD ReMoVeD ReMoVeD etc . This lets all future reads now that if it does not make sense it is because it got "censored out"
9. New forums. The problem with a female only room is there are a lot of men that pretend to be female. There's no point in such a room unless everyone verifies. Also there will never be enough women to make it viable. 8. The secret garden. The decision has been made to focus the site on male chastity. All posts from the hardly used female chastity forum are now in the Other fetishes forum. Members are still welcome to discuss female chastity in there, but it's such a niche interest it's not worth having a separate forum for. 5. Pix. In the past the problem with caption photos has always been storage space on the server, that should no longer be a problem with the upcoming upgrade. 4. Seeking and soliciting section. The 10 post rule has been removed for now. I think it's probably caused new members to leave the site in the past, a lot of single people will naturally want to post something there as soon as they join, if they find they have to make 10 posts first they might not stick around to see what the rest of the site is like. If removing the rule causes any problems we can always add it back in future. We need to make the site as friendly as possible to single folk as there are not many here.
Thanks for reply. My rejoinder: 9. It is true there are many males pretending to be female. So I agree: it can never be 100% cast iron. Also there are of course some m/f Members who have a joint profile. But I still think it worth a go, especially if a decent interval can need to elapse before admitting a new FD KH Member thereto. As I said, it works well on chastityforums.com, + Mascara^Snake said it had been introduced here and worked. It is also of course possible for a small number of members to have a joint shared PMs, but these are limited to 6. If however the 6 limit can be removed entirely then individual FD (or indeed any other!) members can form their own sub-groups without the need for such a forum. Can this be done as an alternative please? 8. I do take the point, but from its inception CM has always been to allow for both sides of the f/m d/s spectrum, even though the main focus has been on male chastity alone. I cannot trace that any decision has been announced or proposed, anywhere, to change this. And I think it worth preserving. Let me give you an example why. You and I are both also members of FL. On FL there is a member (also now joined CM on my recommendation) who is and always was F KH, but once asked me if she could experience being 'on the receiving end' via emlalock, and would In treat her a rough as I would a male (we had previously acted in partnership on her lockees)? So I agreed and did, and she got what she'd asked, and learned much from it. Then not long ago she asked my advice about posting her experience of this in the Secret Garden. She had been on the point of so doing. Now she can't. I shall be PMing her about this separately. 5. I hope so. But even with the new server I see no reason why CM should act as a free and unilimited storage space for umpteen captioned pix from elsewhere when a link is quite enough. I have very recently replied to a post by Jens on just this issue. 4. Removing the 10 post requirement is of course another way of dealing with the issue, thus making it a non-problem.. I was and am not aware that this change has ever been posited before. Certainly no Announcement had been made on this change nor ever as far as I now any suggestion or discussion made on this sudden policy change you have mentioned. Can I (and any others interested|) be copied into the discussions on it please? I should be very interested indeed as to the rationale. It affects everybody, new Members especially, but others too.
Ms L-u-c-y I hope this appropriate to bring up the new look of the Mansion here in this thread. Overall I like the new look and appears even over the last couple of days the layout color scheme and format has been in flux and I imagine evaluating options - Noticed just changed to a darker scheme that looks good. However, the impact on the ticker text is terrible; font is blurry and hard to read for what it's worth. Appreciate all you are doing. Thanks
Just a thought and please Forgive me if I have overlooked or failed to notice one .....but it would I think be advantageous at times to even established members to have a section in which there are threads which would probably include stickys and then sebsequent posts including extra advice on the topic. These threads should be helpful reminders as well basic information... '' How To's'' on site realated matters... like how to start a thread or how to start an album how to manage an album .. what pictures may appear where or may not anywhere.. how to conduct a search ... site related advice not to be confused with advice on matters arising in relation to TTTWD which is site Content.