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I was disrespectful of my keyholder

Discussion in 'The Tower' started by Madamebellestoy, Sep 28, 2017.

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  1. I am very upset and ashamed I was very disrespectful, un-caring, and rude. I allowed my feelings to override my submission and not acquiesce to her request.

    This will not happen again!
     
  2. What did you do?
     
  3. It always helps to reflect back on how you feel right now after letting them down. That way, when a choice comes up you will make the right one next time. It's a terrible feeling to let your Keyholder/SO or whoever it is, down.
     
  4. Shame on you :mad:
     
  5. We had an argument, and then to try to put a stop to it, i asked (my mistake I should have demanded) to come upstairs with me and we could figure things out physically because we weren't going to think the other was wrong at that point. He refused. This has been or first arguement in months.. we are still trying to figure out this lifestyle. I guess setting expectations? And I think because of the closeness we've shared, I was so hurt at the callousness. Perspective changes when you enter this lifestyle. His denial to me really messed with my head.
     
  6. Quite understandable but the fault is entirely his and, to his credit, he understands that. There is no such thing as conditional submission. It is not a fetish; it is a lifetime commitment. My wife has me conditioned so completely by now that my obedience is automatic. I would not dream of even questioning her, much less refusing her. As much as I can empathize, this must NEVER happen again. You are indeed forgiving.
     
    MadamBelle likes this.
  7. My apologies if I sounded a bit harsh there. I was speaking from experience. After my decades of furtive and reckless sex with men that put my unknowing (and certainly undeserving) wife at risk, I confessed all and we both concluded that only an ironclad female-controlled marriage could curb my addictive personality and, quite likely, save my life. My wife now has control over all of our money as well as an unlimited power of attorney. Everything that I once owned has been transferred to her name. I will never be allowed to have sex again unless she permits it and only under the most safe conditions possible. So that she may not be deprived of the intercourse that she enjoys she has the prerogative to cuckold me with anyone that she chooses, including my closest friends, whom she likes and trusts to be respectful. While she says that she most likely will not exercise that option, it is dependent upon my absolute obedience to her in every respect. I am grateful that she has taken on the responsibility of controlling my life and never would dare disrespect her by defying her in any manner. MadameBelle appears to be a loving and judicious mistress and I respect her enormously. The secret to life indeed is knowing when we are well off.
     
    spider203 likes this.
  8. I only got one spank'n
     
  9. I would say that you were let off lightly.
     
  10. That's all he got in the moment, I got interrupted by time constraints. And him just offering his ass, on his time, didn't feel right
     
    Madamebellestoy likes this.
  11. He doesn't get to choose. He has much to learn.
     
  12. Trying to learn I suppose.
     
  13. Well someone’s feeling pretty sassy, considering…
     
    MadamBelle likes this.
  14. I was smoking in the house and didn't put some things away...she told me I had some spankings coming, so they happen.

    As far s arguments...we had one incident where she thought I was being sassy and I was arguing. She said that's it over the bed now. I tried to argue (was still in fight or flight mode and bucky) but she kept at it said she was serious. My first thought was to say hell no I'm right. But I let it go and knelt over the bed.

    She ended up feeling more confident in all this, and it helped me to submit. It works out if we let go and let the problem get solved immediately and then it's over.

    Hang in there it's worth it.
     
    MadamBelle likes this.
  15. How very dare you! You should remember how lucky you are to have a Goddess to worship at all times & always think about how you can serve & please her! ;)
     
    MadamBelle likes this.
  16. @Madamebellestoy@Madamebellestoy we all slip. Hell I stumble all the time. The lessons I learn seem to go into short term memory while my bad habits stay in long term memory. Sometimes when I'm feeling ignored I'll deliberately act up to see if she's paying attention. Some members on here say they are not submissive at all, it's just a sex game. Some members on here claim they have zero self serving thoughts or actions. In my opinion both are kidding themselves. The truth is we all fall somewhere in the middle with outliers in either extreme. You aren't an animal and as such you can't be 100% submissive. Do something kind and and good for your KH. Something selfless that makes her smile. Take what she chooses to dish out and move on. Your both lucky to have each other and for most of the time you make each other happy. Can't beat that.
     
    MadamBelle and Madamebellestoy like this.

  17. Fer sher.
     
  18. luckily I have a kind, wise, benevolent KH. She not only loves me unconditionally and i her despite MY efforts she always is doing the things that are in my best interests even and especially when I protest.
     
    MadamBelle and PouchPantyLover like this.
  19. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    If you can structure things so you've enough handles to ensure he does as he's told, then you've got there!:);):)
     
  20. It was one of those little things, I chose the TV program one evening last week saying there wasn't enough time to watch what she wanted to see (as she had to get up early the next morning). Being the quiet type, she just left the room and didn't come back until bedtime an hour later, not quite the 'silent treatment' but she obviously wasn't happy.

    The next morning I felt bad about it... we both knew it was nothing really, but it had upset her, so as I prepared breakfast, I left a note under her plate...
    ''Sorry! The TV remote control is yours for a month. XXX"

    When she discovered it, a big smile, and hugs and kisses [more than usual] before she left for work.
    It felt far more significant than the event that caused it, an unspoken confirmation of my submissiveness to her.