I want my wife to lock me up

Unfortunately the only way is to reopen the dialogue with your wife that was once so uncomfortable. Peraps a different approach. Have you considered how you want this new relationship dynamic managed? It's a lot of work for her. Look into and research a female led relationship.

 

This will be an uncomfortable conversation. Period. The truth of the matter is, if you can't talk to her about it, then how do you expect her to be ok with holding the keys to your sexuality?

I myself would ask her if you could set aside a bit of time to talk, tell her it's about sex and that it's something that's important to you. This will prepare her about the possible subject matter.

Tell her that you love her , find her extremely attractive, and this has nothing to do with your feelings towards her, but you have a strong desire to give up control. You do not care to make sexual decisions and that you want her help to do it. You need help saving yourself from yourself and want focus on her.

You want all your sexual behavior to be around her. Tell her it's a lot to ask , but you really want help.

Don't get into anything else, and don't bombard her with all your fantasies. Stick with asking for help.

Good luck

 

No problem, just keep it away from fantasy, kinky play, dominance and all that. You really just need help with your own self control, and really prefer her making the sexual decisions. For all intensive purposes, you are giving it to her.

This also comes with a warning. Let her drive. Don't bug her for release, don't bother her to tease you, don't tell her you need to cum. She already knows you want to cum, you're horny, and want to be out of your cage...if she wanted that she would let you out or tease you. Backseat drivers suck, so let her drive. Once u two have enjoyed the benifts, can talk more freely and openly about sex, then and only then would I mention some the things U like...she may not like them and is something you will have to come to terms with. Knowing your fantasies is one thing, her feeling obligated or pressured to do them is another. Let her have time to acclimate to her role.

 

Nobody here can help you with your problem that you seem so desperate to have solved. Not without a lot more information anyway.

Is chastity play all that you really want, or do you want more? I'm assuming that your were searching online for masturbation material, and you eventually ended up at chastity... Let's be completely honest, there is usually a BDSM/cuckolding/creampie eating/pegging/and maybe even sissy fantasy mixed in there with chastity. Is this is true for you? Believe me none of us are going to judge, so be honest. Does she know? How long have you been married? How is your relationship with your wife? Do you have a strong foundation? You mentioned that you were both embarrassed whey you talked about chastity last time. Why were you embarrassed? Why was she embarrassed? Also more information about you, and your wife would be useful to garner better answers. Do you work? Does she work? Who is the main breadwinner? How old are the two of you?

Did you consider the Female Led Relationship (FLR) idea? I mean you have to think about this from her perspective... What's in it for her? She holds the key to your chastity and you become a horny pain in the butt. What do you think is going to happen when she does have you locked up?

You realize that she won't be horny just because you are.... Don't you? A chastity device is not the way to fix your relationship. Once you are at about day 6 without cumming for the first time, you will be pestering her daily with all kinds of changes that your body will be going through. Do you know about that? Do you think that will be better or worse for your relationship? How does cumming in your pants to the idea of making her bed and laying out your wife's pajamas sound? That's a reality during the first few weeks of a FLR. "I have to get this laundry folded and the pillows fluffed before she gets home or she will be angry!...... Uuuggghh in my pants..." Haha, I'm serious. Well if you take it serious, that's how it goes.

It's not all edging and prostate massages. Your wife is a person. She's not going to change who she is or what she is into just because she is holding a key to your cage. She may still have no interest in adding anything to your relationship, but you won't know if you don't ask her and risk an argument.

Again I ask; How sound is your relationship?

You want something so badly that you have purchased hundreds of dollars worth of penis restraint equipment, and yet your wife has no idea?!?! This sounds like you and your wife have some serious intimacy issues. Perhaps if you want her to participate in chastity with you you should start by building your interpersonal and sexual relationship first. You probably want to return intimacy and you want to put this chastity device on to spice things up. Maybe she isn't quite there yet. I'm going to assume that you have wrecked your intimacy by masturbating every night while she watches TV in the other room like most noobies here. Hell I'm even guilty of this. There is no shame in being honest with her. There is shame in NOT BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF though.

I would assume that the two of you have a lot of normal relationship stuff to work out first. If you made it this far in my blabbering and you want some advice, search through everything I wrote and give us some information.

You want to know what I would do? Stay away from porn for a few days WITHOUT MASTURBATING, then a few more, then a week, then a month Next give her some flowers and chocolate and sit down and rub her feet. Then tell her, "Honey, I've got a problem that I need your help with. I haven't masturbated in a while and it's because I need to make some changes in myself." Next she will look at you and says a bunch of words that you won't listen to, then say, "I'm addicted to porn and masturbation. and I need your help. Can you help me?" DO NOT PRODUCE A CHASTITY DEVICE OR KEY AT THIS TIME! When she says yes, you tell her that you don't want to orgasm without her anymore. And that you even want her permission to masturbate should it come to that. Tell her that you want her to think about implementing a Female Led Relationship and that you have made an "O" schedule based on her availability, her period, and events that will block weekends off the schedule (family visiting or trips or whatever). Tell her that she doesn't have to be involved in making or managing your schedule and that she is not to take it easy on you. Next you have to start doing all the crap that she has been asking you to do around the house and more. You will be washing dishes and clothes, and even telling her to go out with the girls to ge a pedicure with a boner like you were 17 again. Before you know it weeks will go by and you will be wonderfully frustrated.

You will need to spend some time looking at the www.aboutflr.com website to figure out the best way to approach her. And remember, you have years of looking at porn under your belt, and a grand idea of how all of this is supposed to work. Forget all of that because she doesn't know any of it and hasn't been interested in any of it. You want to know what to do to make her lock you in chastity? Start talking to her like everyone else on here has told you.

Finally, I will tell you not to take any of my advice because I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not an expert, or a life coach. But what I wrote above is exactly what worked for me.

 

I especially agree with Macmagna on the point of what's in it for her. Approaching this isn't all about you since you have a partner. If you're locking yourself up you don't have to answer to anyone but that's not your situation.
I personally think that in a relationship the question should be "what's in it for US" not for him or for her so much because you each get turned on and love it and destroy your relationship still. Selfishness is a potential game killer.
My wife and I have voiced our individual thoughts on what we like but more importantly we have discussed what ways it helps our relationship too.
We are continuing to develop this in our relationship and lots more to discuss because of that. It's not static and discussion needs to continue so I suggest getting better at discussing from the point of "my wants/needs" and "our wants/needs". And decide up front to revisit the issues regularly.

 

Have you considered that in essence "male chastity", certainly in a marriage, is about placing your wife and her sexual fulfilment above yours. Why jump straight in with cages/paraphernalia when you could suggest that you'd like to spend the next week/month/Etc focusing entirely on her pleasure and forsaking your own orgasm/release... unless she feels that your coming is something she would like at that particular time?

It's a far more gentle way of getting started, and contains very little (if anything) that your wife could object to. But then don't just sit around waiting for her to ask you to lick her out. Make a list of things you think she'd enjoy... bringing her a favourite drink, cooking/serving/clearing away dinner (all of it), running her a bath before bed, turning her side of the bed down and laying her bed wear out for her, giving her a massage, foot rubs. Any jobs she's been asking you to do around the house? Do them.

She'll soon enough agree to the cage and key holding (probably).

 

Whilst not for chastity, it was the key for me to getting a FLR/Femdom dynamic going. And we had plenty of false starts.

She's going to buy into it if it is less work, not more work for her. And fun. Try and also think more "Princess" than "Dominatrix/Keyholder". Far more women want to be a Princess than a Domme, or think they do.

 

Hi Jonny12

I have been in your position. I mentioned this to my wife about 8 months ago for the first time and like you we were both a bit embarrassed and my wife thought it was weird, so we dropped the subject but like you i brought one anyway to see what it was like. A few months went by and i had been wearing it through the day and was getting a kick out of it, so i told my wife i had brought one and said i think it would be fun to try, again she thought it was weird but went along anyway. I spent about 2 weeks in it but things never really took off, so again things didn't work out so i took it of, but this year when we were making our new years resolutions i said i wonted to make our already strong relationship even stronger and try the chastity cage again and my wife said ok! She read the keyholders guide book and she started to get into it. We have had a couple of hiccups on the way but now she loves it and cant imagine me being out of it. Our sex live has gone from every 2 month to every 2 days (me pleasing her of course) and she is so much more confident in the bedroom now making demands etc. She has recently said she has been the happiest she has been in a long time, so we are both loving our new lifestyle.
So stick with it.
Make it in to a fun game with you wife receiving the benefits.
maybe get ask her to do some reading about it.
Iam sure once you get going she will think we should have done this sooner.
Good luck and keep us posted.