How did you get here?

My girlfriend and I have been playing chastity as a short time game for the past year. Until recently it was just a game, but is beginning to evolve into more of a lifestyle. Now I am 24/7 locked and she loves it that way. I think it seems to be the natural progression of chastity play. Just my two cents though.

 

24/7 is defo the way to go.

 

I would have to agree. Obviously.

 

We started out of curiosity, and a 3 month contract to see how we liked it. We are on our second contract for a year and each locked period is progressively longer by a week. We went through 4 cheaper devises before we decided to go custom. I am so glad we did because he can wear it 24/7 no problem. I let him out to play, for maintenance, and massages. He is locked the rest of the time,

 

I offered my chastity to my Wife as a way of making good something I had done that had damaged our relationship. My Wife accepted and after a period of trial and error (lots of error!) we started properly on November 12 last year. My Wife has been amazing and the way our lives have changed is nothing short of incredible. She wasn't sure about long term denial at first but now she has seen how it effects me and how easily it means she can tease me she loves it.

So far my average lock up term is between four and six weeks. What seems to happen is the more turned on I get the more turned on she gets until it reaches a tipping point and we end up having full, orgasmic sex.

My Wife is now considering ways she can have me give her the PIV sex she craves without me having an orgasm, so the journey from feeling guilty to starting to push things has been relatively short.

 

I started into chastity with my Mistress as a fetish. I enjoy it immensely but we have decided that long term isn't for us at least for now. I would like to be locked up more often but I realized I am topping from the bottom all the time and I think that happens a lot in the beginning.

I am doing my best not to ask for it and be patient and wait for her to lock me up when she wants to. I know that isn't on her mind often being a working mom and I don't want to be a pest and overwhelm her by asking all the time.

Chastity isn't a lifestyle for us at this time but it plays a part in our sex life that we both enjoy and I love T and D locked and unlocked. The only thing is she needs my release to feel satisfied and I'm not sure if she wants to deny me too often and I don't want her to feel denied ever. It's my job to satisfy her and I get so much pleasure bringing her pleasure.

Sry if I high jacked the thread but I needed to get that off my chest!!

Cheers!!!

 

We use Tumblr a lot and have our own private shared blog that we both post kinky stuff too. There's tonnes of chastity stuff on Tumblr and so last year we decided to get a cheap plastic cage for fun and to see what we thought of it.
Tried it on him for an hour or two as we played, loved it. Tried it for a day, loved that too... so we explored, tried different things. Built up to trying a few weeks (with mostly daily edging but a week 'lockdown'. And up to Valentine's this year we did a six week stint.
As I've just been saying in another thread, I'm actually mostly submissive though, so this is a big switch for me. But we're both loving it and the positive effects it's had on our marriage.

 

Chastity can be a long long journey. There's no route plan and people can get off at the stop that suits them or leave the journey altogether.

My own journey started just like so many others, full of misconceptions and fantasies. The usual fantasies whereby that first device, bought with so much embarrassment and fear was troublesome to get on due to the erections it was supposed to control.

More trepidation as I found someone to be my keyholder. The fun as she played along with my mis-conceptions about the difference between tease and denial and chastity and who was really in charge. The despair and fear as she made it real, broke me to her will. Then the long glorious journey of being hers. Ever longer between releases until she declared it permanent.

That's where it was, but she lost her interest in D/s and chastity due to outside reasons. So we drifted apart. Leaving me conditioned to permanent chastity.

That begs an interesting question for some on here, where does one go on the journey when you've been through the chastity experience and lifestyle and passed out the other side ?

@FlaMistress, enjoy your journey. Especially make sure that you both enjoy the experiences and dynamics of your chastity exploration. Talk to each other constantly about what you feel and want. Advice from others (me included ;-) ) is fine, but always filter it through your own experiences and feelings. Many will proffer hard and fast rules for you to follow. However, chastity, like any other relationship is like The Matrix ... to paraphrase "there are no rules". You make your own rules and reality.

That's a rather long winded way of saying that it doesn't matter if you only lock him up for a few days. If it works for you both, then you don't need to care if you're "doing it right". Take your time and experiment, you may find you both like longer term lockups because the feelings can become addictive for both partners.

 

Many many years ago as a teenager even I was exposed to the Centurions/Spartacus male chastity and piercing magazines and catalogs. The aspect of giving control over that part to another always fascinated me. About 15 years ago I bought my first device and loved wearing it. I did my own keyholding for many years, and went through other devices. After a marriage and divorce (and she doing some keyholding, but not truly enforcing it), I'm now locked back up. This time to a mistress who is serious about it. Being able to get excited but not be able to do anything about it, and not knowing when I'll be able to get out is something I like. She's currently remote keyholding through a Chronovault, but hopefully in a couple of months we'll be together permanently. Then I'll likely have handled my own keys for the last time....

 

@FlaMistress - I must say each couple is different on how they use chastity and for each couple it takes communication and more communication to make it work. At least this is our experience so far. I do find that as the wife/kh has become more comfortable in her role as keyholder, I find my lock up times have increased to where I'm locked up more than not. She loves the control she has over me.

 

My mistress and I started without a plan or a contract. I think for both of us once I admitted my porn addiction and masturbating it was unspoken but clear that this was going to be a 24/7 change of lifestyle for us. However she usually lets me out at least once a week sometimes twice if I'm a good boy. You will end up finding your balance and you will decide what is best for the both of you, and it is you that decides what's best. I did a ton of research on MC before asking my mistress to lock me and I felt that long term denial was the way it's suppose to be and that was "proper chastity" but in the end it's whatever works best for the two of you and you'll go through some trial and error. I think for a lot of us it's an ever evolving process and both you and your boy will change along the way. For my mistress and I it has really changed over the course of this last year and I am really excited to see what happens with us this year!

 

I'm not sure how I came across chastity devices but I knew right away I had to have one. Over the next few years I purchased a few trying to find one I could wear comfortably. One I found one that would work I asked my wife to hold the keys. I remember how nervous I was lol. Of course I topped from the bottom pushing her in the direction I wanted. It didnt really work out. We then tried again with her in charge and no topping but again didnt work. We have taken a break from it now for a while. But when we were playing I wanted long term lock ups and she wanted short term. It was a problem. I think long term lockups come easily to women who dont necessarily care about PIV sex. My wife is one who does require that. She said it made sex much more intimate. All the toys in the world wouldnt replace that intimacy. But the key thing that I understand now is that when you hand over they keys its the wife's game now. She decides even if its not what you had envisioned happening.

 

well when Mistress sayed i wud make a good sissymaid She sayed as well that sissies don't need a mans spurty and i don't anymore but i am milked. i did miss them a lot when we start but not now and we has lots of fun if i been good.

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away I discovered a magazine in a shop in Soho called Cruella Goddess. It blew my mind.

I got a copy. When I went back for more the shop was selling leather toys so we got some. They broke.

Along came the internet and the Cb2K I saw it and showed it to my wife and we got one....

We've been hooked ever since.

 

We started out in a FLR and over time it has progressed into a chastity marriage. Chastity is used as a tool to control my enthusiasm for our FLR. Basically, when I cum I not only lose interest, but my behaviour becomes unpredictable and prone to mood swings. My orgasms are now a rarity.

 

My very first girlfriend introduced me to chastity, about 15 years ago. She loved to be licked to orgasm, but she was annoyed to make me cum. So one day, after I made her cum, she told me she is not going to make me cum and that I'm not allowed to end it myself. So, each day after licking her to orgasm, I begged her to make me cum. Sometimes she did, sometimes not. The longest she made me wait was 10 days once. Honestly, I really hated that! But I felt to guilty to just cum. Now, many years later, it grew into a big fetish of mine, and I had many relationships with chastity, each longer then before. Now I'm in a relationship with permanent orgasm denial, I havent cum a single time since I know my girlfriend.

 

I got here for 2 reasons: I was insecure about BF and didn't like him looking at porn and masturbating.

I didn't think he'd deliberately go out on me, but if he had a couple of drinks and I was working that night (I'm an Assistant Manager at a major hotel, here, so my schedule changes), well, you know. Locking him up for that eases my worries.

I feel a need to keep his masturbation and porn watching under control, too. Like you, though I learned how fast I'd be climbing the walls with him locked up for too long. Oral is fine and a toy here and there is OK, as far as they go, but at some point I want the real thing. So, I use spanking and punishment humiliation to control him masturbating, too.

 

Hello FlaMistress.
I think I detailed the "why" and "how" we got into chastity in a very recent post to another query of yours but not a "how" relating to LONG TERM orgasm denial like I am experiencing. I was wishing for longer and longer periods of lock up and denial at the start 12 years ago with lots of teasing, tantalizing, and benchmarks to meet to be unlocked for an orgasm or maybe not, but it never turned out that way...I hoped to be ordered to re-lock after being unlocked but, it never turned out that way either. I never felt like I had earned my release...it was always very matter of fact liking basically taking off underwear. Topping from the bottom as I was made this all a big disappointment and lead to many of our stops and starts and disagreements. Well, when we restarted we did so as we were trying to conceive our second child and then it got interesting. I was unlocked only to deposit my seed in my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder and when that failed I was sent to the fertility clinic on multiple occasions locked (but with my key) and wearing pantyhose and toting along her day worn panties to sniff while depositing my seed in the specimen cup with orders not to watch any of the erotica in the private sample room and then to re-lock myself and send a pic of myself relocked with my pantyhose pulled back up. Well, once we conceived, the releases became lesser and lesser as her belly and breasts began to grow...I actually got into her pregnant body this time around but the doctor advised we halt sex at the 6 month mark due to some issues and that is where my LONG TERM lockup/orgasm denial began....That last orgasm and one other orgasm about 2 years ago are the only orgasms of any kind I have had since. "You keep me very happy in other ways and I have my vibrator. ", is what I am told now. "I like the control...it is very hot.", she says. ...and so it has gone. It IS very hot...still not what I had in mind and I would like more (pegging, teasing, edging) if I am to remain orgasm free but for now I will graciously accept the crossdressing and nipple and anal play with plugs....BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR ....SO, SO TRUE.

allaboutHer

 

After being married for about 25 years, my wife discovered me wearing panties and, sensing my feminine urges, began to slowly but surely feminize me. This continued for several years until the discussion of chastity came up and we began to practice it on the honor system, but, being a male, I dishonored her and the cage was then introduced. Even now, I only have to wear the cage while She is at work and we've never even tried anything longer term as this seems to be working well for us.

 

You are perfectly within your right to ensure your BF is never able to masturbate or comfortably watch porn behind your back. Well done on taking the initiative to make it a reality.

 

I got into chastity sort of involuntarily. The first girlfriend I had long term denied me completely, not even touching my tiny dick from May of '68 until November of '70. Then, when she finally decided I could have sex with her, I found out she was already 3 months pregnant with another man's baby. The denial, cuckolding, and all the frustration added up to me becoming a cuckold for life, so when I found out about chastity devices, I knew I had to have one. That was 24 years ago, and now I have what I wished for.

 

I locked myself and gave my wife the key. I wanted to become dependent on her for pleasure, as a means of instigation a closer physical relationship with her and become less involved with pleasuring myself, which had become an empty pleasure. We did one week locked, then 2 weeks locked, then 5 weeks locked, which was quite intense and led to bondage play and exploring a female led relationship. I believe she will choose to lock me again. Even if not, the chastity sparked intimacy And a wave of goodness between us I am still riding. Thanks for asking!

 

Bit of a long story. Had a long affair with a much older woman with two daughters who took my virginity. She taught me many things about treating a women well. She was buxom blond with a nice figure and she liked dressing up for me in miniskirts, stockings and heels. One day she found me trying on her lingerie and said she me wearing it. When we parted ways after many years she gave me a collection of her lingerie with stockings, bras (DD), and garters. I still wear some of them today. Many good memories.
Things got a bit complicated and I dated her daughters one after the other. Was only briefly involved with the first daughter , but I had a long relationship with the second. She had a high sex drive and we had many adventures together. They all moved away for a while and I met and married my first wife. We tried a few new things (she liked anal), but ultimately she was not very interested in being intimate. Looking for fun and interesting things to make things better I discovered crossdressing, chastity, bondage and other kinks. I dressed for her a few times and she even bought me some lingerie, but after a few years our relationship broke down and we divorced.
The daughter I was involved with moved back near to me and soon moved in. We enjoyed a lot of sex again. I introduced her to dressing. She told me she loved seeing me wearing skirts and dresses and that everyone should be free to dress as they want. We played with chastity and bondage, and after a while she wanted me to be in chastity every day, but she would always release me to play with my cock. She enjoyed watching me masturbate in public. At one point she, her best girlfriend and I enjoyed playing together, but there were misunderstandings and the relationship fell apart, and she moved away again. I'm still in touch with her girlfriend.
Then I met and married my current wife. We were sexually active at first but over time we have slowed down to only every month or two. I have introduced her to dressing and chastity and she is thankfully open-minded enough to accept and enjoy what I wear. I have panties, pantyhose, or other lingerie on every day. I have no male underwear to speak of any more. Just yesterday she told me I looked sexy in my Rago 40 panties. She has fully dressed me a couple of times and we have discussed going out en-femme together. She keeps all the keys to my cages and sometimes will ask me to lock myself up and at other times I lock myself and I have to wait for her to release me.
I am rarely allowed inside her now-a-days and only then with a thick condom. She has pegged me with a strap-on and I would like to wear it for her as I think she would enjoy it more. I am working on spending more and more time time locked up and preventing all masturbation. I want to make her cum with the strap-on while I am caged. I hope eventually she will no longer want to release me. I look forward to the day when my wife's pleasure and happiness is my only goal.