I recommend you get a Scotch or a cup of tea as I think this is going to be a long one I am going to try something different on this site and be HONEST; not post my normal Submissive/Cuckold fantasy life. I look forward to real serious conversation here, as I am going to try to improve my marriage and increase my actual submissiveness, and would like to post about that journey and get feedback, suggestions, etc.. I am 52 YO, not bad looking with a penis on the small side (very close to 3.75 inches if allowed to get erect). I am submissive by nature and that is clearly why I married a wife is very much a take charge kind of woman. Friends and her sisters all like to point out how my wife is the boss in the relationship and that I am a bit of a wimp. I am very turned on by submission and cuckoldry, but all of this is not shared with my wife (of 26 years). How it all started I think: If I track back my submissive tendencies, I look back to a time when I was a Freshman in high school and my friend and I both liked the same girl. We were out one evening the 3 of us, and went to have a bonfire. (BTW my friend was a muscular, football player) When arriving at the site, my friend started stacking the wood and then asked me to try to start the fire. I turned my attention to it, and it took a bit but I got it started and when I at last looked up there he was snuggled under a blanket with her and they were both giggling at me. She told me several times after that how funny that evening was, as I tried to impress her. In college my girlfriend I came to find out cheated on me with several other guys including my Room mate, but I never broke up with her. She told me she knew I never would and eventually broke up with me. It is very embarrassing that both of those stories still turn me on, and I can point to a number of other similar situations in my youth. What do I do now: I lock myself in chastity every morning and release myself when I go to bed. As funny as ti seems (and I know you will all get this) begin locked up just makes me horny all day. It is like someone has a grip on my balls. Also, I find it interesting that when I am NOT in my chastity cage I have LESS confidence in public. I feel like there is NOTHING down there (Not far from true) and it seems like everyone will notice my lack of "bulge" in my pants. At least when wearing the cage I think there is some bulge there. Also, when not wearing it, my penis seems to recede almost fully into my body and I need to keep pulling it out or it is uncomfortable. I love frustrating and humiliating myself. I have done things like worn panties to the store making sure they are pulled up "Whale tail" style and visible above my jeans and go out in public. I have gone to Hooters and asked the waitress if They would take a picture with them but tell them that as the result of losing bet to my wife, I had to pose a certain way, and then pull the panties up so they show over my jeans for the pic. The girls of course giggle and sometimes ask questions and tease… I go to Gentlemen's Clubs and tell the dancers of my tiny dick in chastity and they are happy to tease me, and giggle, and with enough tipping they will tell other girls and even some patrons in the club who will stare and laugh. One girl even demanded that I pay for a dance for another man, and I sat and watched as she danced and grinded on him - on my nickel. The girls of course don’t mind as long as I am tipping I also love watching humiliation and cuckold videos using VR Goggles, very hot and totally immersive. And I do web cam sessions with online mistresses. I always change at the Gym, and have been caught a few times - though no one would say anything I have heard the guys snicker. And I wear a tight style bathing suit when swimming laps so the outline of my cage is clearly visible. My New Year's Resolution: My marriage is a bit strained by life in general, aging, kids (my son is a HS Senior and my daughter is in college), finances, etc…. It has been well over a year since my wife and I have had sex, and she shows no signs of missing it My wife has put on a lot of weight and seems to retire to bed or the couch after work and that is it. (I generally make dinner and clean up after) DON’T get me wrong, I do not think I am Brad Pitt, but I feel that if things were better she would feel more energized and would get back in the game. I am often short with her, and get mad when she asks for things like foot rubs - IDIOT! So my plan in this: Take her out to dinner and tell her I am concerned about our relationship, and that I am going to start being better towards her. (I am also going to start being more submissive) I am going to: 1. Respond to her always with Yes My Love, or Yes Darling 2. Foot Rubs on demand, with me sitting on the floor at her feet 3. No yelling 4. No talking back 5. Continue Cooking dinner and cleaning up after 6. Doing the laundry 7. Continue make the bed and run the dishwasher etc. after she leaves for work (as I work from home) 8. Other ideas? My hope is that as I show myself to be more submissive on own that she will come to expect it, and in time she will come to DEMAND it - in all things. This will include sex of course. After our talk I will start back with showing her more attention. In our past I was always a bit submissive to her. Often, I would give her oral sex, and discourage her from having to reciprocate in any way or have actual intercourse with me, as I knew I did not really p[lease her in those ways. She never needed much discouragement. Hopefully Someday getting to the idea of her participating in my chastity. Once after sex, I apologized for my small size and she just rolled over (not looking at me) and said "Oh dear, your fine" - Talk about damning with faint praise! She never really gave me BJs either, as I would inevitably cum too quickly. So I will return to giving her pleasure and expecting nothing in return. Once at a party my wife told our neighbors that I could not have sex more than once a night and made a sad/disappointed face. Other wives chimed in that their husbands did NOT have that limitation, and my wife flirted a bit. I have in the past mentioned that I would want her to domme me and there have been moments. Once after sex, I said thanks to her while cuddling and she asked "Thanks WHAT?" and I said "Thanks Mam", and she cuddled in tighter and went to sleep. Once during sex I asked if I could cum yet and she said no… then later gave me "permission". So there is hope on that front, but I also have messed up in the past. At a concert, I blew the Cuckold thing when some man was flirting and hugging her in front of me, and she was enjoying it, and I got mad…. BLEW IT. (Oh to have that night back).. I will try to ease back into it by reminding her how it turns me on when she dresses sexy and flirts with other men. Finally, I need cut back on the web porn as I need to NOT be getting my sexual gratification from anywhere other than my wife. That will likely sharpen my focus/resolve to treat her better. Please don’t judge me and my marriage, I do not think my kink is the answer to all out stresses, I will certainly be trying to better our communication in all areas too. SOOO if you made all the way to the end, God bless you. I look forward to chatting with you all and sharing my progress. I welcome input!! I will likely post pieces of the above in appropriate forums going forward to keep getting feedback as well. I am off to the Gym…..have a great evening everybody.
mike, Welcome to the Mansion and thanks for posting about your trials and tribulations in this thing called life. i'm sure there are more out there who have had similar histories and i wonder if they are as committed to seeing an improvement in their relation with their spouses. Bravo for taking the first step to doing just that. i wish you all of the success that you and your Wife can handle.
Best of luck to you, my friend. As a submissive hubby with a tiny dicklet whose wife is feminizing him I can empathize. Please feel free to converse as you may desire. Look forward to hearing as much as you care to share.
There are so many parallels between your situation and mine that it's crazy. The biggest struggle is that through all the years of my marriage, I have served her. And I have, whenever given the rare opportunity, made sure she orgasms -- always. But, her need is seldom. My penis and I have been daily BFF's since I was in my mid-teens, and that continues, even as my prowess fails me, and my lil' buddy gets littler. My needs are few, but I need intimacy, playfulness and sex. Not necessarily intercourse as much as interest! But our sex drives are simply miles apart. When I try attentiveness, conversations every day, romance, introducing a massager, buying her sexier lingerie, doing all the chores that I can while I am home, etc., providing a good living and material things galore already, what is there for her to gain by locking me up? Getting her to the point of participating in my chastity (to help me get my hands off of my dick and focus on being more productive) would just be work to her. There are also some differences in our situations, too - I don't crave humiliation in any way, especially in public, but I would definitely love to be dominated by a sexy woman. My wife works hard to maintain herself, fretting about the same extra 10-lbs. for 20-years. She looks better now than she did in her 20's. But sex? Once a month would be a massive improvement. Once a quarter works for her. Sometimes there's months-long gaps. So, I take matters into my own hands, and here we are. In my situation, at first it was no sex because I smoked, and smelled bad. I quit. No sex because I drank too much. I quit. No sex because we might have another baby by accident. I got a vasectomy. The kid. Raised and out of the house. The career. We're both doing great, and there's more money than bills now. Menopause. Over. But the sex drive is remains an irreconcilable difference. The idea of long term chastity thrills me, but I suspect (for good reason) that I will need to continue to self-lock, consider chemical castration to eliminate my sex drive completely, or seek solace elsewhere... In which case, our marriage is over. If I gave her the key, she'd lose it, just like her phone charger or her wallet, and then it would become something I wanted, not her, and I would just be ignored, unless I failed to get the laundry done, or lost my job. I wish you the very best for trying to do what's right by your wife. Anytime you want to chat, let me know - but I wouldn't blame you if you don't... Still trying to... Giveitup
Wow, this is such an "open" thread. This is what makes the mansion such a special place and I'm proud to be part of it! I recognize some parts of all the posts in this thread. My wife and I are together since our first kiss (13/05/1987 22:30 was our first romantic kiss, yes I'm a number freak..) and have had our issues during this time (life, work, kids, close family in dementing or cancer issues etc.) and we arrived at a point where we both had enough, but I was still in love with the girl she was when I met her. And she luckily had still the same feelings about me from the time we first dated... So we went in to counseling, we even had three counselors: separate one for each of us and then one for us both as a couple..) It worked and after a troublesome one and a half year we were back in a relation where we both loved each other (and we still are even more in love now ). Some time after that we had THE conversation about male chastity and she wasn't against it, confused and surprised but genuinely grateful for the fact that I wanted to do that for her; it was so heart warming! What worked for us during the time of counseling was that I suggested to have a weekly moment where we would just talk, time reserved in our schedules for just the two of us, no phones, radio TV or anything else, and we did this for about one year every Saturday morning for about 2 hours, had issues in the beginning of course, what to talk about etc. but we settled in the routine and when we had nothing to tell, we laughed with ourselves and it ended always in just kissing and cuddling which is great and has helped us very much. As a couple we are now stronger than we have possibly ever been... I too have the fantasy that some day my wife would cuckold me, but for us this is not a right time to experiment this path, it is just about us right now and I'm really very happy about the situation as is right now. @LttleMike I don't feel I am in a position to give you any advice but speaking from my experience: just love your wife, adore her, be always there for her and be open in your communication, don't ever force her in whatever way you fantasize and I'm sure that all will turn out just fine. (it has for me) Good luck on your journey!
By the way, I don't think anyone from the mansion would ever judge you. After all it is jour journey! By the way(2): Welcome to the mansion!
Great OP! I'd say the important thing is your wife wants to do this to you on the premise that she use the control so she can also get whatever else she wants for herself. Sexually or otherwise. Including modifying your your behaviour to what she wants it to be.
The most promising thing I read about your post was the part about sitting down and having and really open discussion. What we tell you here on CM is not nearly as meaningful as how She opens up to you and your honesty/openness. The more honest you can be with Her, the better, IMHO. Good luck on your journey!
Welcome, @LttleMike, and don't worry about being judged here. For the most part, it's live your own kink the way you want. Hope you have a good time her, and good luck on your journey.
Hi @LttleMike, I want to add my welcome and reiterate that no one here would judge you or your marriage! You sound like you’re on a good track to re-energizing the communication and intimacy between the two of you. You don’t say in your post whether your Wife is aware of the activities you do in public for self-humiliation. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume she’s not. In that case I’d encourage you to think about when and how to tell her. I’m NOT suggesting that you start the conversation with it; indeed I wouldn’t presume to tell you any time was the “right” time to tell her, since only you can know that. But I think it’s never too early to consider how you might approach it with her, because it’s only through sharing those experiences that she’ll understand just how much a part of you this is. It’s an essential part of restoring that intimacy, terrifying though it may be. The above is only my opinion, but it does come from experience. Just something to consider. One very promising thing is that from what you wrote, it sounds like your Wife doesn’t have a particular problem with humiliating you in private or even occasionally in public. Perhaps your #8 could be starting to share with her how it makes you feel when she humiliates you—maybe even telling her how you regret your reaction at that concert. Even if it’s not something that specifically turns her on, it’s clearly something she doesn’t mind doing, and knowing how much you like it may encourage her to do it more. And if it excites her even a little bit, a whole new avenue of shared fun opens up for both of you. Wow, you probably could have finished a second scotch while reading this! In any case, I hope things go well for you. And please do keep the Mansion updated on your progress.
thank you all for replying and being so kind and helpful I want to respond to each thoughtfully, so stay tuned
Agreed, and I understand that and it is a bit embarrassing that it is so hard for me to have this conversation with my own wife .
Thanks. You are correct she does not know about my extra curricular activities that may be phase II of the discussion I have told her it makes me hot when she flirts in the past, but that was a long time ago..and before she gained weight. Now her self image is so low, I don't think she would get it. I am want to build up her self esteem so she will "bet back into the game " as it were.
I think a lot of marriages go through what you are in. Its not uncommon for sure. I recently made some changes that really helped bring us back together. WE had a conversation about all of the things I could do to help improve things. We started with a kiss and hug every morning and evening. Going to bed at the same time. these minor things made a huge improvement in not only myself but also for her. Show her how much you love her and hopefully she will come back to you. Personally I would recommend getting the relationship back in order before spilling the beans on everything else. Good luck.
I too found these little things to be the way to go; it is so improving on the 'bonded' aspect of being in a loving marriage! Oops, here is where I come short, doing a lot of day trading at international stock exchanges in different time zones.. Best advice for whoever in whatever relation!
I’ll use any excuse to drink scotch! Best of luck to you! Staying married is tough sometimes, staying happily married is even tougher.
my suggestion and i know it won't be easy: show wife this site and this post (i like your plan but it lacks accountability i think). Also, show her cuckold site, "cuckoldmarriage.info"
i wonder where littlemike got to and how his attempts at turning his marriage around have worked out for him.