Here goes...

In the words of Professor Henry Higgins, "By George, I think she's got it!" Yesterday with my wife was amazing. I'd been locked up for several days. She read some more of the Georgia Ivey Green "Keyholders Handbook". In the afternoon, she had me give her a massage and we just cuddled and chatted. She likes the tone of Green's book, so my decision to give her that rather than the Lucy Fairborne was seemed a good one, though Fairborne's might work for you if you are both new to kink and want something very basic. After going out for sushi and listening to some jazz at a little club in our town, we came home and she said that before she decided whether my penis could "come out and play" she wanted me to watch her use a dildo I'd bought her several months ago and she'd never used. I ended up nuzzling and kissing her feet while I watched, then she had me use my tongue on her clit while she finished herself off with the dildo. After a little cuddling she unlocked me, teased me for a long time and then rode me and gave me permission to come. It seems that being locked doesn't make me ejaculate too quickly, which I was a little worried about. It was a very intense orgasm, though.

I think the message that I have for others from this is that even if your partner will never be an 'Isla, She-Wolf of the SS' sort of dominant, the soft dominance that chastity can lead to can be amazing and when you introduce her to this it is important not to pressure her into a specific role. From my wife's perspective, I think this just empowers her to do and ask for what she wants, which is an important step for her. I am feeling closer to her sexually and emotionally than I have in years.

 

If you ever saw that movie, Mistress B, Ilsa did have a pretty permanent approach to chastity.

 

I have an M200 on order that should be here this week so I'll give it a try while I wait for my Jail Bird to be made.

 

The M200 arrived today. I like it so far. A much shorter cage than the Bird Cage, which I like.

 

I've been in my new Jail Bird since last night (until then, I'd been in an M200). Definitely worth the money. In order to get my wife into the chastity scene, I started what I call a "private blog," basically just an e-mail chain between the two of us dedicated to sharing thoughts about what we are doing. Here are the most recent two entries:

Me: The new gizmo is really comfortable, though the lock pokes my leg now and then (I have my exercise pants on with no underwear) . It does feel more confining, because there is no extra length to it. Either that, or because it's been several days since my last orgasm, has me feeling very frustrated. Hope you let me come out and play tonight, but it's your decision.

Her: I am glad the new gizmo is comfortable. I might let you out tonight if you do the following: have an elderberry martini ready when i get home at 5:30. Get the bath ready with some bath salts (there are some in the closet) and some candles and towels. Also, make sure the dog has gone out. ​

I think she is beginning to enjoy this.

 

I was in a Bird Cage, then the M200, all while waiting for the Jail Bird.

 

The Bird Cage was a good start and very comfortable, though the cage length was much too long for me. The M200 was a better fit, though still a half inch too long. In both cases, I didn't have an issue build quality, etc.

The MM Jail bird fits perfectly. My only regret is not getting the locking screw instead of padlock... I don't like the fact that the MM design doesn't allow the padlock to hang parallel to the cage.

 

The Bird Cage is a little like the Jail Bird, but with a long-ish cage (maybe 5-6 inches) (my avatar picture is the Bird Cage) and of course chrome plated rather than stainless steel. I have been pretty lucky on comfort. I tried a Holy Trainer but it was too narrow for my penis so couldn't wear it at all (cut off circulation, etc.). I got the Bird Cage in two version, a 1-3/4 inch ring and a 2 inch ring. The 2 inch fit well. The excess length of the Bird Cage made my cock feel very isolated, which was interesting, and it allowed enough extra length to get a sort of bent erection in the cage. The M200 was comfortable enough but probably the least comfortable of the three because of the horizontal-ring design of the cage. The Jail Bird fits really well and, not that I have found a replacement lock I like, has no issues at all.

 

This has been an amazing weekend. I prepared for my wife's arrival home on Friday as she instructed above. I knelt beside the tub while she had a long bath and drank her martini, and massaged and worshipped her feet a bit. It was just a very relaxed, intimate time. After, a very long cuddle and massage session, after which she unlocked me and ordered me to get erect. PIV followed, with an amazingly intense orgasm from me. Last night, after dinner out she was a bit tired so we just sat on the sofa watching the Olympics. She ended up teasing my caged penis and testicles with her feet for forty=five minutes while she just relaxed. So nice but so frustrating. Then she said she was going to bed and might unlock me again Sunday morning. This morning was stroking and cuddling, following by my making her come with my mouth. She's gone off to exercise class now but said she might unlock me when she gets back.

A word of encouragement for those of you trying to get your wives/girlfriends into this. Chastity doesn't have to be a heavy domination thing and you don't need to stay locked for three months at a time. My wife is really getting into the attention and intimacy of this. The fact that I can't be so focused on my genitals really has changed our sexual life in a very positive way. When I first started this process and gave my wife a book about it, I explained that I know she isn't that dominant and that I was doing this as a way of controlling my masturbating so I would be more focused on us. This seems to have worked really well. She enjoys the attention and the pampering and is getting into the denial aspects more and more.

 

Interesting 24 hours. I was last allowed to come on Sunday (oral from my wife) and was locked until last night. She had me kiss her feet and watch her masturbate while locked. She was getting tired, but took pity on me and unlocked me and sucked me for a bit, but stopped before I came. She enjoys giving me pleasure so it was sort of a step for her to tease and deny like that (I sort of directed her to do that, despite how frustrated I was to be denied). After she was done it was a cold washcloth and back into my Jail Bird. This morning, for the first time, I went to my personal trainer and worked out with the Jail Bird on. It worked fine -- I don't think it was particularly noticeabel under briefs and light weight sweat pants, and it was comfortable. This opens the door to being locked 24/7 for long periods.

For those of us who aren't extremely submissive, I would note that being locked helps me not be so genitally focused. Kissing her feet was an entirely different experience while locked: I just focused on the sensation of what I was doing, not on wanking myself. I've said this before but when I am allowed to come, the expereince is much more intense than before. It is too soon to tell how far we go with this, but it is bringing us closer.

 

First orgasm since Sunday was this morning. PIV after long foreplay. Nice. She seems to be having a post-menopausal sexual reawakening of her own because of the attention I am giving her. My wife likes intercourse with me too much to keep me locked for weeks, but I am good with that. I'd say "different strokes for different folks," but I don't get to stroke myself any more.

 

I've not posted about my chastity journey lately. I was traveling on business last week and although I took my JailBird in my luggage I stayed mostly unlocked because I wasn't sure if some of the buildings I would be vising had metal detectors. That, plus some family commitments my wife and I had meant I was mostly unlocked for five or six days. (By the way, we went to a bris at a Jewish Community Center that in fact did have a metal detector to walk through.) Being free to masturbate after beign locked was a nice break, but I've now been locked since Sunday (March 9). We've both been busy and she's not had the energy to want me to serve her orally or podally, but she's really been getting into long cuddle sessions in which she plays with my caged sex. She was toying with the idea of letting me unlock last night but I told her she shouldn't feel guilty about keeping me locked except when she genuinely was in the mood to unlock me. (I think this is a combination of her enjoying PIV and her having internalized all the nonsense about men "needing" to orgasm.) It's interesting that she needs my support to do what she wants, but she is enjoying it. For me, just touching without any sexual goal in mind is very nice and relaxing (even if my penis is straining against the cage).

 

Mmmm... uncaged early this morning for some stroking and a little oral by my wife, without coming. Back in JB now. She is beginning to "get it" in terms of teasing.

Thanks for your thoughts, MB. You're right, of course.