help and guidance I’ve tried the 5 answer to help

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by little minion, Aug 17, 2019.

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  1. little minion
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    little minion Little minion

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    #1 little minion, Aug 17, 2019
    After a bit of help as we are still new to the chastity life style. Saying that it’s new to my Queen @Mistress Minion as I’ve read about it for a few years before approaching her. My Queen is still finding it strange and also thinks there must of been a problem with our relationship to want to change which I keep telling her that is far from the truth I love her unconditionally and always will and there is no problem with our 20. She says she struggles to get into the role and feels I add pressure by mentioning to read up so she can relate to the role and especially on here get the friendly help to assist her.
    I’ve tried to explain how she can relate too it better! I asked her for 5 things she wished she could change/ finds irritating about me.
    She replied the following
    1. Smoking
    2. Smelly feet after working 12 hours
    3.telling me to do stuff go here or there even if i dont want to !
    4.used to hate you not helping me in house n garden
    5.snoring n grinding teeth !

    So I told her use that to help her in her role as it’s part of the FLR. smoking I think it’s something she will need her true dominant side to achieve but I am all ready smoking 10 less a day but not from her being strict about more I’m showing her while I’m caged it’s possible to change me for the better I have also started with all the house jobs and the garden too and told her I’ve been so selfish all these years I’m ashamed l. If this information could sink in and she reads and gets the knowledge of the role I have told her how everyone on here is so friendly and so helpful. But all my Queen thinks is I want her to read to get the kinks it’s far from the truth it’s something I think all females have had to read and then it gives them the starting point to grow with the chastity/FLR experience! Don’t get me wrong I think my Queen has been amazing so far and as soon as I mention anything she says I’m trying and I can’t do right. I do say there is no right or wrong but reading is a big part to help eventually turn into the dominant lady she once was. As when we first met I was the weak one and she was always the strong one over the years the roles flipped.
    Can anyone relate to this and help myself and @Mistress Minion on this path we are leading too.

    Has anyone achieved with similar 5 answers you would love to change about your partner.
     
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  2. keysandlocks
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    keysandlocks
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    #2 keysandlocks, Aug 17, 2019
    I would change many things about My male partner.But here are the top 5.

    1.His snoring, and bloody lip biting when he's frustrated and cross
    2.His lack of enthusiasm in going out, parties and dinners.Inc holidays
    3.His inability to understand females needs, like shoes and handbags and perfume etc
    4.He hates loud music.And concerts :(
    5.His inability to cook and Iron

    In a nut shell we aren't suited
     
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  3. little minion
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    little minion Little minion

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    #3 little minion, Aug 17, 2019
    Get him in his cage until he learns
     
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  4. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    #4 Bonobo, Aug 17, 2019
    Why does your queen have to cage you? Submission does not need a cage! I think you are putting your cart before your horse, submit to her and be patient. It can take several years for our queens to build their confidence, you need to help her by being the submissive you are claiming you want to be. No strings attached, no cages, just love and submission.

    If she does not want you smoking then quit. Wash your feet when you get home from work and keep those smelly boots out of the house. Ask her what she would like help with instead of waiting for her to tell you to do something. Is there something you can change about your lifestyle to help with your snoring?

    Your queen will recognize the changes in time and slowly become your Domme, just be careful what you wish for!
     
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  5. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    #5 Bonobo, Aug 17, 2019
    Even better, why not come home from work and take a shower and primp a little for your queen?
     
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  6. madams-sissysub
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    madams-sissysub Member

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    #6 madams-sissysub, Aug 17, 2019
    Agreed, it our place to change and be moulded by our owners, it’s our job to keep them happy.
    I love my madam and I will do anything she wants me to.
     
  7. little minion
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    little minion Little minion

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    #7 little minion, Aug 17, 2019
    Thanks for reply’s I’m not suggesting I haven’t changed I have and house work is done without being told too as I now know how hard it is I will do it cage or no cage. Smoking for me is the worst to sort I have no will power I need it enforced to help me through it. But for wearing the cage does make me feel more submissive and no temptation to play with myself as I now see it like cheating on her. I am letting her grow into it in her own way all I was suggesting to her is to read and chat to ladies on here who are in a similar situation as she still finds it weird and chatting can help her understand the Benidorm it will give her in the long run
     
  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    #8 jemima, Aug 17, 2019
    i had to give up smoking when my Mistress give up and before i had to go outside in the rain and cold to have a smoke so that help me give up as well.
    if you got smelly feet you shud wash them and put nice smelling stuff on them.
    you shud do all the things She wants you to do and not be cross at Her.
    if you snorts and and does grinding (giggle. i never hear of folks do that)
    you will has to sleep in another bed and so you wont wake Her up.
     
  9. little minion
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    little minion Little minion

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    #9 little minion, Aug 17, 2019
    That’s it I want to fix the 5 things that annoy her and any more she can think off. I have told her if I grind my teeth I will go and sleep in spare bed not like I can help it lol
     
  10. Changeable
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    Changeable Long term member

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    #10 Changeable, Aug 17, 2019
    I you want to save your relationship, you must communicate.
    Here is how, if it were me, I would like you to communicate:
    Put on something alluring. Something he would like.
    Convince him to let you put his cage back on.
    Get your paddle.
    Be safe sane and consual as you warm his bottom until it's fire engine red.
    Leave his cage on until your he submits.
    Repeat as necessary.
    Save your marriage.
    Men are very simple creatures. Sometimes you just need to spell it out.
    If you dont want to save your marriage, then I dont know. That sucks.
     
  11. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    #11 PouchPantyLover, Aug 17, 2019
    We did something a little different. We used to set aside time once a month to write 3 things we loved about the chastity lifestyle and 3 things we either didn't like or we wished were different. Then we discussed those three things. This was really helpful for us on our initial journey. There were things that surprised us to learn about each other. Things that allowed me to soothe concerns she was feeling about being mean or selfish. She never really looked to make changes like the ones your describing. One of the big changes is she did 99.9% of the laundry pre-chastity. Once she really began to feel confidence in herself she made me do 99.9% of it. I hardly think I'm perfect. I could stand to lose 20 - 25 pounds, I drink more than I should and I get too emotionally invested in the Dallas Cowboys each football season. She never really made changing that or anything else a priority. Waiting on her was the priority. Making her life easier was the priority.
     
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  12. little minion
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    little minion Little minion

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    #12 little minion, Aug 18, 2019
    Thanks for your reply but don’t get what you mean. This is nothing to do with saving a marriage we are a very solid couple exploring something new that’s all.
     
  13. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Long term member

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    #13 Anonoman, Aug 18, 2019
    Asking my wife to read anything was like ‘showing a cat something...’
    My advice is, forget trying to manage any aspect of this your self. If it’s going to work, it has to be because your partner wants it to. Basically, give her the key, tell her it’s hers, then earn out time. :+1:
     
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  14. LadyL
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    LadyL
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    #14 LadyL, Aug 19, 2019
    When my husband first suggested chastity I immediately thought what is wrong with me? Why am I not enough? There were several days of tears and hurt feelings but finally I actually listened to what he was saying. Yes, this is something he wants but the reason he wants this lifestyle is to show his dedication to making my life better and happier. He wants to build my confidence and submit to my every desire. Once I understood that I was all in. The difference in his attitude since being caged is almost unbelievable. Communication is key. She needs reassurance that you aren’t trying to change her, you are wanting to change for her. The device is just a reminder that you belong to her and exist only to please her.
     
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  15. little minion
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    little minion Little minion

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    #15 little minion, Aug 19, 2019
    Thank you I can totally relate to what you have put. My wife @Mistress Minion is still at the stage of understanding everything so input like yours is something that can help her.
     
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  16. keysandlocks
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    keysandlocks
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    #16 keysandlocks, Aug 19, 2019
    He is not caged,as he is not My sub
     
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