Hi - I posted in a thread earlier but this is my first real contribution to the forum... I have been married for almost 4 years and have been collared for almost 6 years by my wife and my Mistress. We met after both seeking a power exchange relationship and I have not ever been happier, or more challenged in my life. We are very active in the BDSM community - which has really helped us grow - especially in the last year or so. I am also in the transgender spectrum - although I prefer the term bi-gender, since I think I can move fairly fluidly from one gender the another - although I am probably most "at home" when in fem mode even though my body is male I'll save the details for an introduction thread sometime soon (yay!) but in the interim, I have two specific questions. We have been playing on and off with chastity devices since 2007. I have truly and faithfully given her control of my orgasms since we started seriously dating, but we have craved a physical extension of her control...yet we could never make the cage work for both of us. We started with the CB-3000 but the rings simply bit into me too much for anything other than for short-term play. I lost a lot of weight since then - and for the last couple of years we have been dabbling with the CB-6000S (I am a grower to be sure), although lately, we've both been inspired to push harder and really make a commitment to making this work - my orgasms being controlled was after-all, one of the founding things of our relationship. She's had me in the cage for the last three weekends - each weekend we've gone longer and longer with continuous wear and I am now entering my first work week locked up. I've checked every time I've been released for redness and any trouble spots etc, and have finally found the best initial combination of spacers and rings etc. I've had a couple of warm spots but that's about it...so far. My questions are: 1. Now that I am through the sizing process, how long should I plan to stay in before asking to be unlocked to checking for problems? Am I too worried about going a few days (2 or 3) in between removals/cleanings? I am pretty comfortable, overall, except in the middle of the night when the boys get cold down there and try to pull up past the ring - that's painful, but the days and nights overall are very, very comfortable except when Mistress diobolically makes me try to get hard... 2. Is there a better alternative for long-term wear? I have seen Bon4 and Birdlocked as options - or should we wait until we are ready to step into a custom steel cage? It's hard to tell what is real and what is a part of my mind trying to defend itself from being in a device that cannot be removed. I have to believe I am fine in there - because I would feel it if there were a problem - but I also know many have been through this process already and can lend some help from their experiences. Worth noting that I am making sure to lotion the inside and outside of the cage a few times each day to keep chafing down to a minimum. Am I wanting to check to see if I am OK out of an abundance of caution, or is it just my mind messing with me? Thanks again and I look forward to hearing from you... Meghan
Hi Will get a conversation going about your our gender lolxxxx You are together in the same home so any time you are unlocked she is present. Basically Hun deal with the pain snd discomfort up to obvious damage to your bits lolxx You sat your into bdsm therfore I assume I hope correctly you are used to a few marks and positively proud of whip and cane marks. So how bad can it be your boy bits are quite sensitive and remarkable resilient . Long before your going to do any permanent damage you are going to be sore and uncomfortable. The longest is when you are at work, so long as you are not a pilot or drive public transport , just suffer the pain like a good girl , you could have periods! Worst ways paper lingers on your desk a bit longer. When you get home explain your problem get unlocked and you can both assess how bad things are and take appropriate measures. If you are tooo sore then just go free till you heal and be good and don't play with your self. The pain is the constant reminder of your status deal with it just like cane marks be proud and endure ! Xx wendy
Wendy, you've given me a great perspective - I was mainly concerned about keeping everything clean. I have pretty sensitive skin (I also mark easily) but after keeping everything well washed and lotioned, no problems at all were discovered in our inspection today. Also - how did you know about my passion for being caned? I had a wonderful criss-cross pattern on my inner thigh after demo-bottoming a couple of weeks ago...and I do believe I am beginning to like the nightly reminder that I am - in fact - in a cage when I am woken up by trying to get hard in the night! You are absolutely right - I am proud of her marks on me - I know of no better feeling than the warm reminder of her paddle...of course the after feeling is much more fun than the actual impact when it's happening. Thank you for your perspective and candor. Looking forward to our gender discussion, lol! meghan
The other possible senerio is you work offshore on a oil rig. After a couple of weeks things are going a bit Pete Tong and you have no option but a trip to engineering to get them to cut the padlock. You find a very nice guy who is happy to take a look and he has nice warm hands. Ok Hun he says no problem just a small favour in return. With that he un buttons his overall to reveals a beautiful larg hard cock and indicates you should bend over his work bench. Latter that day you return to your bunk to find a nice metal sign screwed to your bunk. Daddies bitch property of Dave the welder !!
You live with your partner and can wear a cb all weekend. Progress steadily , wear it for a week, remove inspect and lube up daily. After 1st week of this check daily but only remove every other day. Always check daily and lube well but reduce the freqency of removal for inspection. You will continue to want to remove for cleaning weekly for quite a while, so inspect at same time. Your fears will be allayed eventually and if both you and your partner want to extend your lock-up duration or even make it permanent you can. Im talking only about the being locked not the denial that's something else entirely. Review how you both feel regularly after a 1 month then 2 then 3 what ever you feel comfortable with but agree it is a fixed date it IS going to happen THEN and either of you can and should be able to say anything, include the practicalities. concerns and above all feelings. Your partner will really appreciate the feelings stuff, they just do, men don't women do but intelligent women do appreciate a guy that tries to discuss feelings. It is a quite sensible thing to have had an orgasm the day before your discussion, then you will at least be thinking with your senses rather than your penis. Brain is largest erotic zone and is NOT in your penis, penises can get confused and/or tell you lies. You are or will be thinking about your device your penis and your sexdrive all the time because you have the constant reminder of being in a CB. Your partner will have a 1001 other things on her mind throughout the day, so will not bwe as focussed (hopefully not obsessed) as you are. Life hasn't changed nothing has changed only you being locked and denied everything else is just the same. As the length of time increases between reviews you need to step up what you do for her, how much and how often. To both show your appreciation and show her the advanges of being a KH. She is denying you, you wanted that, she is keeping you locked, you wanted that, she does both 24/7/365 what are you doing for her. Its a lot of responsibility being an active keyholder, and time consuming. Make it worth her while. When you are both comfortable with the way things are progressing you should be about 6 months in by then. Then you can start looking for a metal long term device. Don't look seriously before then or there is a danger you will just get all giddy about a new device and focus on getting into that rather than your relationship and becoming accustomed to your individual roles in you being locked and denied. There are literally 100s of devices and most of them are wrong for you so take your time. Lots to consider, belt or tube, how many holes in it, if any, and how big should they be. Soft, like silicon, rigid like polycarbon or steel. How much access to your penis will the device allow? Do you need a PA to help the not pulling out thing? Would you like an anti pullout that uses a PA just for the headfuck of not being able to get out at all? How many keys who has them and where is at least one for emergencies. Remember you have to let your new device break you in. Well you are not going to break it in. Make the adjustments like you did with the first one take yor time check for abrasions etc. It will not be exactly the same shape as your old one and if all metal will feel much heavier at first. You are in a long term relationship, so take your time and you could well have added something that will last a lifetime. If it does not work out then it doesn't. It will be either or both of being locked and denied that is not working not necessarily your relationship. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Good luck
That was a whole bunch of well thought out advice and from the feeling some body who is speaking from experience. Your relationship comes first look after it and enjoy the whole of your life not obsessed by a bit of plastic or steel. Xx wendy
Im not Fortunate enough to live with my Mistress (yet) and have been in my Cb6000 full time 24/7 for about 12 weeks maybe more now. Communication is very important to us, so if i had issues I wouldn't be afraid to say but i have found there are ways that chastity is very comfortable. Moisturizing is key as well. I clean with soap and cotton buds. there very useful and get everywhere. I would say, if you truly want to hand over your orgasms to her, (as i did) then its the only way. and as people have said, you live together so its not the end of the world if it has to come off for a bit. x x